'I want some leftovers, too!': Entitled mooch repeatedly steals all the leftovers from her friend's dinner parties, ends up getting herself uninvited for good

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Mar 12, 2025 10:00 PM EDT

A lot of work goes into hosting a dinner party. You have to buy food, prepare it, and then entertain a gaggle of guests with a laundry list of food allergies, expectations, and preferences. Hosting is not for the faint of heart, but for those of us who are a little apprehensive about having folks over for a dinner party, we know there will always be a consolation prize at the end of the night: Leftovers. 

Primed and ready to feed you for days on end, leftovers make the slave-work in the kitchen totally worth it. You know that no matter what, you'll be enjoying delicious re-warmed lunches far tastier than your usual PB&J. Alas, the leftovers are the trophy at the end of a successful night. Aside from good conversation and valuable time with your friends, leftovers might even be at the top of everyone's list at the end of the evening. 

And for the 'friend' in this next story, perhaps leftovers were the only reason she was even attending her friend's dinner parties, because after every evening, she'd make off with every scrap of food left on the table. 

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  • I'm not one to throw lavish parties at my house. If you're coming over to hang with me, you'll probably be scouring the pages of my many tri-fold brochures for takeout, while enjoying a premium beverage of your choice. However, at the end of the night, if I paid for the food, you better believe those leftovers are staying in MY fridge. No offense, friends, but we can check the receipts for that…

  • "AITA for telling my friend that I was done inviting her to parties?"

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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • I, (22-F) throw a lot of dinner parties (like a ton). I LOVE to cook, so I always put food on the table and I'm a pretty good chef I'd say. One of my friends comes to all of them. The problem is? She takes all the leftovers. Istg,
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  • every single time that there's a scrap left, she takes it. And I appreciate that she doesn't wanna waste food. That's not the problem. The problem is: I want some leftovers, too! So, I told her
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  • when we were eating this time, hey, "don't take the leftovers, ok?" And she was like, "yeah, sounds good." Fast forward to the end of party.
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  • She takes the g leftovers. When I notice later that night, I text her "hey if you can't stop taking the leftovers, I'm not gonna invite you anymore." She says ok.
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  • Next time that she comes over for a party, I remind her when we're eating, don't take the leftovers. She says okay. When she's about to leave, I was sitting near the table. Guess what I see: SHE'S TAKING THE LEFTOVERS.
    via LuckyPersonality6548
  • So I tell her that if she couldn't listen to a boundary I set, the clear consequence that I discussed with her was that she would not be invited to any more parties. She said that it wasn't fair that she couldn't have some,
    via LuckyPersonality6548
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    via M_a_y_a

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • and she was only taking a bit this time. I'm not sure if that's true but I told her I didn't want her to take any. She says okay and puts them back.
    via LuckyPersonality6548
  • Fast forward to next time I hosted a party. She isn't invited. Apparently she found out through the grape vine (makes sense, we share quite a few friends) and she got ped as h_I, saying that she put them back and I should have invited her again. I think she might be right. Am I the Ahle?
    via LuckyPersonality6548
  • Els-09 NTA. I've never heard of anyone taking leftovers without asking first, and then to take them after being told to stop? I think she's taking advantage of you and she's only angry because she couldn't mooch more food from you.
    via Els-09
  • WTH_ NTA. Do not let her manipulate you into feeling badly about not inviting her to a dinner party. No means no. Why do people have problems with this concept? No means no. No leftovers. Do not take leftovers. I don't care how much, do not take leftovers.
    via WTH_
  • Did she pay for the food you were preparing? If so, she maybe should get some — but not all of the leftovers. If she did not pay for any of the groceries, she is not entitled to
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  • any of the leftovers. If you want to offer some to her, that would be fine. She does not get to take them. Do not invite her again. Do not let her manipulate you or your friends into inviting her.
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  • badpandacat I assume she is not contributing to the meal, whether financially or by bringing ingredients. If that's the case, then she is horribly entitled and is just using you for free food. NTA.
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  • Younggod9 NTA You set a clear boundary twice and she still tried to test it ....putting the leftovers back after getting caught don't erase the fact that she tried it again. Actions got consequences She played herself
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  • duckingridiculous NTA who goes in someone else's kitchen and takes food (probably in the fridge) without asking. I would never even ask to take leftovers. That's so rude. I was taught to always take something as a gift to the
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  • host like wine or an orchid, or something to share like an appetizer. I was also taught that you never bring these things home. You leave any leftover snacks you brought for the host.
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  • NoPoet3982 NTA but I'm fascinated by this timeline. 1. Don't take the leftovers. Says okay. Takes the leftovers. 2. Don't take the leftovers or you won't be invited anymore. Says okay. Takes the leftovers.
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  • 3. Don't take the leftovers. Argues: Not fair. Only a bit. 4. Don't take the leftovers. Puts them back 5. Isn't invited. I should be invited because after being told to put them back, I argued at first then I put them back.
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  • She ignored your request THREE times! And LIED to you twice! Then argued that in some universe, this isn't fair? Does that even make sense? Then pretends that somehow only taking a bit is the same as not taking any at all?
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  • After the FOURTH time you told her not to take leftovers, she put them back. How can you possibly trust her not to put you through this rigmarole again? You would definitely have to stand guard over the leftovers.
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  • You know how I know? She was ped. Not ashamed. Not apologetic. Not, "Well, she told me 4 times." Not calling you and saying she's sorry and she's finally learned her lesson. No.
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  • She thinks that it's A-okay to take leftovers unless you a) catch her in the act, b) win the ensuing argument, and c) after all that, she puts them back.
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  • That means she thinks it's A- okay to do it all over again next time. It's up to you if you want to give her another chance. It doesn't sound like fun.
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  • unearthed_jade NTA. I'd reconsider this "friendship."
    via unearthed_jade

Tags

friendship leftovers woman drama stealing cooking uninvited mooching friends friend drama girlfriend chef dinner party dinner entitled mooch friend group women entitled people
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