'Shove it where the sun don’t shine': Woman unleashes karma on her cheating ex-boyfriend when he tries to schmooze her despite having a new girlfriend, getting her revenge and saving his next victim the heartache

Advertisement
  • 01
    "Diabolical..."
  • 02

    "How I finally got my cheating ex-boyfriend to stop dr*nk dialing me"

    A few years ago, my boyfriend of nearly five years left me for some woman he met at work. I'd suspected he was cheating on me for a while but never had any proof-until I came home one day to find all his belongings gone.
  • 03
    The only thing he left behind was a note that read: "I'm so sorry for everything I've put you through. I'm not leaving because I don't love you... I'm
  • 04
    leaving because it's just not working anymore. You deserve to be happy. I'm sorry I couldn't give that to you." Needless to say, I was devastated. But that heartbreak
  • 05
    quickly turned into rage when I logged onto Facebook two days later and saw he was already in a relationship with some random woman I'd never even heard of. As much as I wanted to reach
  • 06
    out, I resisted. Days turned into weeks, and eventually, he contacted me first. He left a voicemail, slurring and crying about how leaving me was
  • 07
    the biggest mistake of his life and how he wished he could take it all back. I wasn't interested in hearing any of it. I'd heard his drunken apologies too many times before. But I let him ramble on, and in the midst of his groveling, an idea came to me.
  • 08
    We continued texting and talking secretly over the next week until he finally asked to see me. I agreed. He showed up at my house around 9 p.m., driving her brand-new car. He was
  • 09
    completely trashed-reeking of booze and who knows what else. My disgust was real, but I played nice. He made a few sloppy attempts to sleep with me, but I shut him down each time. I did, however, drink with him-part of the plan.
  • 10
    Eventually, he passed out cold in my bed. I shook him, slapped his face lightly, even tickled the bottoms of his feet since he's ridiculously ticklish. Nothing worked; he was out cold. So, I moved on to phase two.
  • 11
    Very carefully, I planted a massive hickey on his neck-a real showstopper. Then, I snapped a picture of us lying side by side. Next, I grabbed a piece of paper, put on some bright red lipstick, and wrote:
  • 12
    "Sweet ride! Hope you don't mind, but we broke the backseat in for ya! P.S. You're welcome!"
  • 13
    I sealed the note with a kiss mark and slipped it into the glove compartment of her car. Then, I went back inside and drafted a text with the photo attached to his new girlfriend. The caption
  • 14
    read, "Check your glove compartment." Satisfied, I went to sleep on the couch. The next morning, he woke up groggy and confused. When he
  • 15
    realized where he was, he freaked out-panicking over what he'd tell his girlfriend and begging me to keep quiet. I smiled sweetly and promised my lips were sealed. As soon as he
  • 16
    stumbled out the door-without even glancing in a mirror-I hit send on the message. OLL TL;DR: My boyfriend of nearly five years left me for a coworker,
  • 17
    confirming my suspicions of cheating. Weeks later, he drunkenly reached out, claiming he regretted leaving me. I invited him over, got him wasted, and he passed out. I left a huge hickey
  • 18
    on his neck, took a photo of us together, and planted a lipstick- marked note in his new girlfriend's car implying we'd hooked up. The next morning, I sent her the photo with a message to check the glove compartment.
  • 19
    UPDATE: Since a lot of you have been leaving comments asking for what happened next, here's the scoop:
  • 20
    The girlfriend tried calling me for days after that. Obviously, so did he. I ignored both of their phone calls. I figured I'd let him soak in his own misery for a while and let her decide what she wanted to
  • 21
    do with his sorry cheating a Long story short - She ultimately ended up dumping him. He immediately tried crawling back to me, yet again. But this time I told him to shove it where the sun don't shine. The calls eventually stopped, and I have since moved on to bigger and better things... Lol.
  • 22
    Eaudebeau Wow. I wanna be your friend, this is diabolical.
  • 23
    That_Old_Cat Cold, but just. The best way to serve revenge!
  • 24
    LindonLilBlueBalls This feels a smidge past petty. Well done!
  • 25
    Kangaroo-Pack-... You done petty revenge perfectly. I bet all h I broke loose when his new gf received the text. I bet your petty revenge also helped her to dodge a bullet too

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article