40-year-old stepmother asks 18-year-old to babysit 9-year-old stepbrother during her own father's memorial service: 'You lost a husband of 5 years. I lost the man who raised me my entire life. You do the math'

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    "AITA for refusing to 'babysit' my stepbrother during my dad’s funeral?"

    I (18F) lost my dad three weeks ago. He was my best friend, my safe place, and honestly the only parent who really got me. My mom and I are... strained, and she divorced him when I was 10. He remarried when I was 13, and his wife "Stacy" (40sF) came with her own son, Adam (9M now).To be real, I never bonded with them. Stacy always treated me like a guest in my own dad's house, and Adam was a spoiled little tornado. My dad tried to make it work, but I mostly avoided going over once I hit 16. We w
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    Fast forward to the funeral. I was wrecked. I'd spent the night before writing a eulogy and crying my eyes out. I was trying to hold it together in black heels and waterproof mascara. Then Stacy pulls me aside literally 15 minutes before the service starts and says: "Hey, could you just keep an eye on Adam? He's having a hard time and I want to be able to focus on greeting people."I thought she was joking. But no. She wanted me - the daughter of the de d man to babysit her son so she could - soc
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    I said no. Politely at first. Then more firmly when she pushed. She got huffy and whispered, "You know, you're not the only one who lost someone."I snapped. I said, "You lost a husband of five years. I lost the man who raised me my entire life. You do the math."She gasped like I slapped her and stormed off. Later, at the reception, she told my mom and other relatives what I said, and now half the family is calling me "selfish" and "immature." My aunt even said I "traumatized Adam" because appare
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    Select_Insect_4450 You're not the a h le. There was aunts and uncles. When we were kids we pretty much grouped up with cousins at funerals. It would be a different if she asked you to watch him while she went to the bathroom or something maybe even a group deciding to take shifts. Saying watch him while I am at the greeting line for 2 hours no that's unreasonable. She should have had a sitter for him if that much of a pain in the a •
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    Jealous-Ad-8100 Ntah that's your father. That is the person who brought you into this earth, if you have anyday that no one should ask you for a thing it's that day, May he rest in paradise and keep watching over you. Sleep making him proud
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    trinityeglover Op, I just want to say how incredibly sorry I am for your loss. Losing a parent is tough, I lost my mom in 2022. You are 1000x NTA. She was out of line asking you to babysit for your father's funeral. If the child isn't able to sit through the wake/funeral and has to be "watched," then she should have brought help or hired so.eone to keep him home. Again, my deepest condolences
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    Embarrassed_Hat_2904 How was anything you said traumatizing to Adam? There was nothing you said that was about him or mean to him to make him cry.
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    Western_Fuzzy NTA. By the size of the peanut gallery, it sounds like there were lots of mature adults who hadn't lost their father to take care of Adam. Still, good news...you're 18, so you can speak to whoever you want or not. You also have zero reason to continue communicating with your father's late wife. You can invite or remove whoever you want from your life as an adult. Sounds like you wouldn't be losing much other than a headache anyway.
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