Engineer backs out of volunteer work for his company, then finds out volunteers got paid after all, he throws a fit: ‘You set me up, I would’ve come if I knew’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Apr 20, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

We all probably like to think that if the opportunity presented itself, we would do anything to prove that we're good people. For example, donating to charity or doing volunteer work. If we have the time and availability for those, who wouldn't want to help out others?

However, real life has proven that not many people are willing to commit to actively helping others. How many people actually spend their weekends volunteering without getting anything in return? How many people pull out their wallets when they encounter someone asking for a donation?

Whether it is a question of time or money, we all understand how difficult it can be to give those up for others, when we know we also need them. So who are we to judge others who do the same thing?

The employee in the story below decided to skip his company volunteer work because he didn't think he could afford to spend his free time working without getting paid. Should we judge him for it?

Well, maybe not initially, but the story does not end there…

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  • The fact that this engineer didn't want to volunteer in the first place is not what angered people in this story. What they didn't like was how he reacted when he found out that those who did show up to the volunteer event ended up getting paid after all.

    Keep scrolling to read how that went down.

  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10494449408
    via sturti

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    "AITA for not telling my friend that the “volunteer gig” he flaked on was actually paid?"

    So I (23M) and my friend Ryan (23M) are both in engineering. Last month, our department posted a call for volunteers to help run logistics at a local tech
    via waffles_2346
  • 03
    conference. It sounded like a good networking opportunity, so I signed up, and I told Ryan about it too. He was like "eh, not worth the time unless they're paying."
    via waffles_2346
  • 04
    Fair enough. I show up the first day, and to my surprise, they hand me a badge, free food vouchers, and say we'll be
    via waffles_2346
  • 05
    getting a "small stipend" at the end like, not huge, but still $300 for two days. Not bad at all. Ryan texts me while I'm there like "yo how's it
    via waffles_2346
  • 06
    going?" and I just say "not bad, chill so far." I didn't. mention the money because 1) I didn't know how long I'd be staying, and 2) he already decided it wasn't worth it.
    via waffles_2346
  • 07
    Anyway, after the event, I get the stipend and post a pic of the staff group on IG. Ryan sees it, asks "wait... you got PAID??" I say yeah, it ended up being paid after all.
    via waffles_2346
  • 08
    He flips. Says I was shady for not telling him, that he would've come if he knew, and that I "knew" he needed the cash. He told a few people I "set him up" to miss out on it.
    via waffles_2346
  • 09
    But like... he made his call. I didn't know it was paid either at first, and I never lied to him. AITA?
    via waffles_2346
  • 10
    VOLUNTEER VOLUNTEER VOLUNTEE VOLUNTE VOLUNTEER
    via FatCamera

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 11
    Grump_Curmudgeon ΝΤΑ They needed you there in the beginning for a quick volunteer orientation, right? (I've done this event work before). So
    via Grump_Curmudgeon
  • 12
    when you found out it was paid, it was too late for him to get paid. Make sure he knows that, and that should be the end of it.
    via Grump_Curmudgeon
  • 13
    And you were right, by the way: the networking opportunity was worth more than the $300, and I hope you got some contacts out of it. Maybe one day Ryan can decide an internship you go
    via Grump_Curmudgeon
  • 14
    for isn't worth it, and you'll find out that was paid, too. Then later Ryan will wonder why he didn't get a job offer.
    via Grump_Curmudgeon
  • 15
    zi76 NTA. Everyone thought it was a volunteer thing. Turns out that they actually paid the staff, which is awesome, but not your fault or problem. Ryan didn't want to give up his weekend
    via zi76
  • 16
    (I'm assuming it was on the weekend) for free, and that's understandable. Still, no one's fault here, but Ryan became the ah for acting like you intentionally swed him over. You even offered the opportunity to him, and he rejected it.
    via zi76
  • 17
    Disastrous-Nail-640 ΝΤΑ You're not his personal secretary. He's a grown a adult. If he wants to know if something is paid, then he can ask about it.
    via Disastrous-Nail-640
  • 18
    Ford2059 NTA. You found out there was a stipend AFTER you already got your badge. What was he going to do? Show up unannounced and demand they let him "volunteer"??
    via Ford2059
  • 19
    TheBlackSpot The people posting it as a volonteer thing properbly wanted the people like you, not people just coming there for the money... NTA
    via TheBlackSpot_
  • 20
    KuuPhone YTA He didn't "flake" on anything. He said he didn't want to do it unless it was paid. If you're his friend, the moment you found out it was paid, why wouldn't you tell him? That's so weird.
    via KuuPhone
  • 21
    If he's some random dude you work with, who cares, but you yourself said "my friend" so I assume you're, you know, friends?
    via KuuPhone
  • 22
    He made an uninformed choice, you then got more information and purposely withheld it from him for some reason, sounds weird, and definitely on you.
    via KuuPhone

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aita time workplace-stories employee job work coworkers engineering reddit story workplace entitled volunteer Reddit money entitled people engineer
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