‘She sent me to the ER the first time they visited. She is not allowed in our house’: Disrespectful houseguests keep smuggling dairy into sister-in-law's allergy-safe home, forcing homeowner to demand TSA-style baggage checks - Update

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Etai Eshet • Editor
Apr 21, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

Let's recap the original saga: Our allergy-ridden host, armed with enough EpiPens to equip a small paramedic squad, set one simple boundary for houseguests: absolutely no dairy in the house, unless you enjoy watching someone cosplay as a balloon animal during anaphylaxis. Most family members responded with empathy. Her brother-in-law's girlfriend, however, doubled down on her love for dairy.

Things escalated to requiring suitcase inspections at the door for this repeat offender. Some might wonder: Isn't that a bit much? To which the answer is, when your allergen is the Grim Reaper in lactose form, you bet it's not.

To the update, in which our allergic host realizes, thanks to the gentle push of 500 internet strangers, that their willingness to keep the peace is starting to look a lot like rolling out the red carpet for their own demise. Turns out, apologizing for nearly meeting your maker is not a sustainable hobby, and letting Dairy McSneakerson stomp back in just to avoid family awkwardness is even less reasonable.

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  • A heart-to-heart with her fiancé, followed by a text from him to her brother-in-law, brought a revelation worthy of a record scratch and a gasp: Brother-in-law’s girlfriend had been spinning her own fan fiction about being forgiven and conveniently glossed over the part where, oops, there was never an actual apology.

  • "UPDATE: AITA for demanding to go through my BIL and his GF's bags if they are staying with us"

    □ EMERGENCY CLEARANCE HEIGHT 11'-6" EMERGENCY EMERGENCY VEHICLES → TWO WAY TRAFFIC "She hasn't even apologized for breaking our rule again, after she sent me to the ER❞ RGENC
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  • I didn't plan on writing an update, especially not so soon, but a lot has happened in just one day. But first, I want to clear up some misconceptions around their second visit to our home. I did
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  • not get sick from BIL's GF having candy bars and a milkshake cup in the trash, or some candy bars in her bag; that wasn't the problem. The issue was that while
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  • knowing our no-dairy house rule, had not only seen but also been responsible for me going into anaphylaxis shook and had gotten a in-depth explanation of my allergy and why it is important
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  • Cheezburger Image 10496076032
    via Jacob Lund

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • to us to keep our home dairy free, she STILL brought my known allergen into my house, my safespace. That is why we fought with her and kicked her out of our house.
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  • After the first 500 or so comments telling me I am an idiot for even considering letting this woman, who is a danger to my health, back into my house, I realized I was listening way too
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  • much to the part of me who just wanted to keep the peace and was downplaying the seriousness of the past incidents in my mind. I kept thinking the first time she might not have known how
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  • Fool me once: ER Edition

    EMERGENCY Ambulance Only ENTER THROUGH Waiting Room LLANCE/IMMEDIATE Assistance Only
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  • serious my allergy was, and it was an accident, and since I didn't get sick the second time she brought dairy into my home, I was exaggerating how bad it was. I know it sounds insane, but after
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  • dealing with people who don't take allergies seriously for years, I've gotten used to apologizing and even downplaying my allergy to others.
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  • I sat down with my fiancé and discussed the whole situation. He explained how he also doesn't want BIL's GF back in our home, but since I was willing to give her another chance, and it was my health affected by her previous actions, he felt I should make the final decision.
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  • He ended up texting BIL to tell him our original no-answer stand, that he is welcome to stay with us, but she is not allowed in our house. Especially since she hasn't even apologized for breaking our
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  • rule again, after she sent me to the ER the first time they visited, and I'm his family, and my health and well-being are more important to him than BIL visiting.
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  • I wasn't here for this part, but this is what my fiancé told me happened. After he sent that message, BIL called him and they talked. Turns out BIL's GF had told him that she reached out after their second trip, that we talked,
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  • and I forgave her, but wasn't ready to have her back in my house yet. She has asked him to come with every time he has visited us. BIL always told her no, and that she would only be allowed to come with when I told
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  • him I was ready to have her back in my house. He only asked if she could come since it had been 9 months, and as far as he knew, I had forgiven her. According to
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  • my fiancé, BIL was extremely apologetic. I haven't had time to talk directly with him yet, but we have planned a video chat to get everything worked out tomorrow.
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  • The reason my BIL didn't ask me directly about the situation and believed his GF is because he is aware how traumatic an allergic reaction is to me, and that I hate to talk about it after since I can not stand re live the situation.
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  • If anyone is interested I can post a second update after I talk to my BIL tomorrow, and hopefully have a final conclution to this whole thing.
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  • Remarkable-Pace8 I swear why do people always lie about stuff like this. Do they really think it's not going to come out?!?
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  • reesie_b Honestly, I was side eyeing BIL for still being with her, much less even asking if she could stay again, so this explains that. He thought she'd reached out and
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  • apologized. So now we can add her being a liar to the list of reason why he'd be an AH for continuing to be in a relationship with her
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  • Crafty_Special_7052 The situation is getting more weird. Because for one she lied to BIL and then kept asking to come over to your place repeatedly. Like at this point I feel like she brought
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  • the dairy product in your house on purpose and maybe is trying to hurt you. Idk that's what I'm getting now. Please update after talking to BIL again.
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  • Apprehensive War9612 So she never apologized & in her attempts to rebuild her relationship with your BIL- she lied to him.
    via Apprehensive_War9612
  • This woman is a danger. Her willingness to lie, go behind your back & manipulate; makes me think she will 100% expose you to your allergy again. You cannot trust this woman.
    via Apprehensive_War9612
  • So I have talked to my BIL. We had a long and emotional conversation. I won't post it all here, since some of the stuff we discussed is personal, but I still wanted to update you guys
    via Apprehensive_War9612

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family drama inheritance aita AITAH brother mother tradition siblings family feud favoritism wedding aunt in laws mother in law sister fiancé grandmother Father
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