Entitled wife repeatedly leaves her husband to fend for himself with 3 kids, guilt-tripping him into staying behind so she can live her life: ‘She went on 3 trips abroad without me’

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Apr 22, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

It takes two to tango to become a parent, and similarly, once the kid is out in the world, it takes two to parent. While many parents divvy up the workload of having kids together, sometimes there's one parent who disproportionately takes care of the kiddos. And while I'm all for people keeping their hobbies when they become a parent, somehow it feels obvious that there's a point in every parent's life where they need to decide whether their kid is more important than a stable full of horses. 

This equestrian-loving woman had spent her life riding horses, dutifully training with her friends, and enjoying the single lifestyle it came with. However, once she had a child with her husband, who already had two older children with his previous wife, she was shocked when things changed. With a 1-year-old in the house, there was far less time to ride horses freely, but she found a way to guilt-trip her husband into shouldering all of the parental responsibility. 

Perhaps it's time for her to choose between her lifelong dream of riding horses competitively, or becoming the present parent that she should be. 

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  • AITAH for not letting my wife keep her old habits after we had a baby So here goes, my (39m) wife (34f) is a very active person with time consuming hobbies and
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  • likes to spend time on those hobbies with her friends. This means sometimes she is gone for most of a weekend or a whole day every now and then. She also likes to help her friends (one in
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  • particular) with all of their problems any time of day, or sometimes night. She also works pretty late so I usually pick our daughter (1f) up. It is worth mentioning that I have two kids
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  • from a previous marriage, (12f and 10m). Before we had our daughter and when we were discussing the possibility, I mentioned that it wouldn't work with her busy schedule and she
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  • would have to make huge changes if we were going to have a child together. She assured me she was on board with that and it wouldn't be a problem. That year she went on 3 trips abroad without me, which was fine, but
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  • again I mentioned this would not be possible once we had a child. Fast forward to us having a 6 month old now she wants to go on a hobby-related trip with her friends for 5 days, wouldn't it be
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  • terrible if she was left out? So long story short, I was guilted into letting her go. She of course doesn't miss any of those weekends either, and unfortunately they usually
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  • happen when I have my other children (I have them every other week). I feel it is really difficult to take good care of them when I am alone with them and their baby sister as she requires
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  • almost all of my time and attention. Another thing - she has never taken a summer vacation with me because she is always too busy. This is ok but not ideal as I am really bad at finding fun
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  • things to do with the kids on vacation. However, now she actually wants to go abroad for another hobby related thing during my summer vacation with
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  • the kids! Not only do I find this unfair to me but the kids as well, but she is pressuring me with guilt about how important this is to her and that her mother can take care of our daughter - I dont
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  • want to leave her with her grandmother for a week! I am writing this on easter sunday, alone with our daughter because she is on a road trip with
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  • her friend all day. She notified me of this didnt ask me or discuss - it, just let me know. This samr friend wanted her to take a drive with her at 3 am a few weeks ago, they apparently had to take
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  • someone to the airport. I said forget it, you have a baby (her friend does not) and I'm sick of this. She relented but calls me controlling for interfering (she was complaining about being sleepy all day next day, I wonder how tired she would have been!)
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  • So I guess what I am looking for is am I really being controlling or am I right and this is just not acceptable behavior for a family? I sometimes feel like we are just roommates who sleep together and have a child together rather than an actual family..
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  • Update: Since this has come up so many times, her hobbies are mostly dogs and horseback riding. She breeds dogs and to a much smaller extent, horses. These hobbies do not generate
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  • income except barely to cover the costs of doing them and therefore I call them hobbies - and more importantly, she agrees with this assessment.
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  • Which brings me to the next point - she found this post and understandably got a bit upset about all the negativity here and felt that I had painted an unfair looking picture. She is probably
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  • right because I was writing the original post while my youngest daughter was still awake and I was feeling upset myself. Let me try to rectify that. She does take care of our
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  • daughter a lot. On weekdays I go to work in the morning but she usually doesnt go until after 12, so she takes care of the mornings. She has also taken the brunt of the nights when
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  • problems occur, because I simply couldnt function at work if I did and she had done a remarkable job at this. She also very often puts her to bed in the evening. So saying nasty things about her neglecting her daughter is not true.
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  • Also, I do not want to force her to quit her hobbies, that is not the issue and never has been. I guess what I want is consensus about things like suddenly going out for all of easter sunday to take
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  • pictures of dogs in nature, not just being informed about it with little advance. Discussing things, making plans together, that it what family should do.
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  • Own_Armadillo_416 Maybe book a ticket away for yourself for a week when you don't have your older children. It's your turn and it's time for the tables to turn.
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  • sog96 Tell her that you both need marriage counseling.
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  • EntertainmentClean99 . For everyone else, people do not change because you got married or had a child. Who they were BEFORE those things is who they will be after. Make your choices accordingly.
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  • For OP I am really sorry I don't know what to tell you because I don't think she'll change.
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crazy dads marriage entitled parents kids wife moms reddit story parenting husband dad mom Parenting Fail dramatic parents
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