Working wife is too tired to clean the house before her husband's friends come to visit, then takes a stance and refuses to clean after he shuns her: ‘I just didn’t have the energy for more cleaning’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Apr 24, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

Guys, the meme is true: Adulting is hard, and the story you're about to read is proof of that.

Working a 9-5 is already cutting it close to the amount of time anyone can devote to just about anything every day, but the after-work household duties have to take the cake. At the most inconvenient times, you'll be required to clean out the fridge because all of the produce you intended to cook with went bad, and your husband has decided to host a fantasy football get-together for the third week in a row. If he wants to host guests, he gets to clean the house!

The woman in this next story decides to take a night to herself after a stressful day, only cleaning the absolute essentials in her house in the process. Her husband expected her to clean the house to an excessive degree, and she usually does, but the timing just wasn't great in this instance. Instead of being understanding, the woman's husband flips out on her and goes so far as to sleep on the couch to guilt her. Luckily, the woman isn't influenced by these childish tactics. She knows how valuable her helping hand is and refuses to let it be taken for granted.

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  • "I don't mind doing it, but it's on my schedule. That's the price of the arrangement.”
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "AITA for not cleaning before guests came over because I was tired?"

    I usually do a majority of chores in the house. My husband helps with laundry and sometimes vacuums, but that's pretty much it. I usually don't mind because
    via workingchores
  • things get done at my pace, if something bothers him, he cleans it, and he is generally appreciative of what I do. And if I ask for help, he will help.
    via workingchores
  • Lately he has been having friends over after work. He works second shift, so I am asleep by the time this happens. In the past, if he mentioned having people over, I
    via workingchores
  • would clean. But a couple days ago he mentioned people would be coming over and it was a couple hours before I was going to sleep.
    via workingchores
  • The last few weeks have been very stressful for me and I haven't been cleaning as much as I usually do. I just didn't have it in me to clean much before they
    via workingchores
  • came over. I was tired. I just cleaned up the dishes from dinner and took out the trash but didn't have energy to do more. Then I went to sleep.
    via workingchores
  • Cheezburger Image 10496806400
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • I woke up and he was not in bed. I had some text messages from him saying how it was embarrassing having people over the house because it wasn't
    via workingchores
  • cleaned. He says it was disrespectful to him and his friends because I knew they were coming but didn't fully clean up.
    via workingchores
  • I talked to him about it later that day and he said the same points again. He said I had a couple hours before bed and I should've at least vacuumed, mopped, and
    via workingchores
  • picked things up. I told him I was too tired to do that and if he wants to have me do all the cleaning, then he needs to accept it will be done at my pace
    via workingchores
  • and depending on what time, energy, and motivation I have. I don't mind doing it, but it's on my schedule. That's the price of the arrangement.
    via workingchores
  • He thinks I was being spiteful by not cleaning more and that I am being ride by my comment on our arrangement. But I just didn't have the energy for more cleaning.
    via workingchores
  • AITA for not cleaning before bed knowing my husband would have friends over?
    via workingchores
  • Sewing-Mama Disrespectful. That's ridiculous. He's red flag city. Why do you let him treat you like his personal servant? Wow.
    via Sewing-Mama
  • Does he do most of the cooking? I'm guessing you do that too. Yet he makes you feel guilty for not doing. more -- at night with
    via Sewing-Mama
  • unexpected guests? His friends. He cleans. But you have much bigger problems than cleaning. NTA and I'm so sad you feel the need to even ask.
    via Sewing-Mama
  • FullThrottleFarmer NTA. Your husband is a big boy and can clean when he wants HIS friends to come over. However, I'm unsure of your job situation. If you are a homemaker or a stay at home mom, maybe I get where he's coming from a tiny bit, but 2 hours is incredibly short notice. Still going with NTA.
    via FullThrottleFarmer
  • gcot802 NTA at all. You both work full time. He is getting a GREAT deal with you doing basically all the housework on top of your job. If I were you his attitude would be a major issue
    via gcot802

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Dating-Relationships relationship advice cleaning aita marriage toxic-husband wife reddit story married life relationships husband reddit thread Reddit toxic relationship
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