5-year-old guest takes birthday boy nephew's new toy, uncle takes it back despite parents' protests: 'I took the toy back and returned it to [my nephew]'

Sharing: one of those core lessons that is so important to learn at a young age, necessary to learn so that you'll one day grow up to be a well-adjusted person. An all-important lesson that everyone should learn, but some people just… don't. However, sharing is just as much about knowing when something isn't yours to have or take as it is about when you should be sharing your own things. You can't just simply demand that someone share something with you and have it be so. Kids, of course, get this wrong all the time. This is why adults are around to steer them in the right direction and teach them when they slip up. But, adults who never learned this lesson properly make for poor captains on a ship they've never been on before.

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Author image for Brad Dickson Brad Dickson
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  • 01

    "AITA for taking back a toy from another kid at a birthday party?"

    We had guests over for my 5- year-old second cousin's birthday party (let's call him John). Another kid at the party, around the same age, was also there - a distant relative (let's call him Adrian). Someone gifted John a really cool RC car, and he was so excited that he took it to his room to open it before the official gift opening. Adrian followed him into the room.
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  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10498503680
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • That's why, when this uncle noticed another little boy scurrying off with his 5-year-old nephew's new toy, he was surprised to find that the boy's father was allowing it to happen and facilitating the "sharing" of the toy against the birthday boy's, his nephew's, wishes. He set things straight, but offended the boy's parents in the process. Now he's wondering if he was in the wrong for stepping in and for his role in the conflict.

  • 03
    A couple of minutes later, I saw Adrian walking out with the RC car, trying to unbox it himself and his dad was helping him insert batteries and everything. I went to check on John and found him in his room looking upset, saying "Adrian took my car."
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  • 04
    I was honestly pretty annoyed, so I went up to Adrian's dad and told him that John was crying. I then took the toy back and returned it to John. Later I heard Adrian's parents were upset with me. I didn't say anything, but the rest of the party felt awkward. AITA for stepping in and taking the toy back?
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  • 05
    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the ah le: well i took the toy and im afraid i came off as an a hole because in other perspective, the other kid was excited. als maybe i felt guilty after i heard the kids parents are upset because of my reaction
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  • 06
    Possi... NTA. It bothers the h I out of me when people force their kids to share or expect other kids to give up a toy they're playing with because the other kid wants it. "John make sure you give the toy to Adrian. You have to share, be a good boy" vs "If you want a turn, you can ask. John is having his turn right now."
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  • 07
    If another adult was having a sandwich, would they be scolded if I came up and tried to take it, oh you have to share? No! Anyways, you're nta. If you did that to my kid/for my kid I would probably thank you for stepping in so I didn't have to. Sounds like you're the better parent for Adrian than whatever the others are doing, if you'd even call that parenting.
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  • 08
    ETA/ so glad other people. agree with sharing! My personal way to manage it is getting the other child to find another toy and suggesting they ask to trade. Either the kid will get a toy and forget about the toy or they'll bring it over and mine will trade.
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  • 09
    1AliceDerland NTA. Pretty much the exact same thing just happened at my daughter's bday party, same age and everything. Sometimes kids have a hard time remembering it's someone else's special day, the dad should've told his kid that wasn't his new toy to open.
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  • 10
    MageVicky NTA Adrian's dad, on the other hand, huuuge AH! How dare he open another kid's present and help his son start playing with it? ???? who does that???? Now you know who *not* to invite, next time.
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  • 11
    MyPath2Follow NTA. I hate the way some people teach the concept of sharing. Should we learn to share? Yes. But sharing isn't some kid just TAKING your toy, it's respecting a no, accepting boundaries and YOU making the choice to share. Ultimately I feel like we end up teaching our kids to be doormats sometimes by telling them they are wrong for saying no to something like this. Good on you for standing up for him. imo.
    via mr_p2p
  • 12
    Leland_Gaunt_ NTA you had to step in because the incompetent parents wouldn't. My child is only a little toddler but I spend half my playdates returning toys he's stolen to the children playing with them. It's just manners, little people have to learn. Someone has to teach them
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