‘[Mom] said I have no sense of familial obligation’: Condescending parents bail on their daughter after a breakup, she's forced to live in her car for months, then refuses to pay for a vacation to Florida for a family reunion; fallout ensues

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  • AITAH for choosing my roommate's business over a big family reunion after how my family acted?
  • About 3 years ago, I left my ex. He wasn't a horrible guy or anything, but I was unhappy. He was obsessed with a video game and did some weird things on it,
  • we had a de d bedroom and he wouldn't work on it, and we just shifted into roommates really. I didn't have enough saved for my own place, but I knew if I didn't leave I'd end up stuck.
  • I'd asked members of my family if I could stay with them until I had things figured out and had a plan for roughly 1 month, up to 2 months. They all declined, so I lived in my car for a while. My family is
  • big on pulling yourself up by the bootstraps, no handouts, accept the consequences of your choices, etc, so I was not surprised. I did not have local friends to ask.
  • Thankfully after a few months my high school friend Penny, moved back to town and invited me to be her roommate, and that's where I am now.
  • Now for the conflict, lol. My mom asked me what I was doing in August because they were trying to get everyone to Florida for a family reunion. They had made reservations and things under the assumption I'd go.
  • A while ago, Penny asked me if I could help her out at her craft fairs this year. She does 10-15 of them and it's a big to-do. She sells gorgeous jewelry and ceramics. I gladly accepted.
  • I told my mom that I had plans over the summer and wouldn't be able to come. She got angry with me and asked me what plans could be better than a trip to Florida. I explained what
  • I'd be doing, and she scoffed. She told me that this was probably the last time we'd all get to be with some of the older family. She said I have no sense of familial obligation.
  • Suddenly there's a family obligation for me to pay to travel to Florida and spend time with people who wouldn't even help me out when I needed it. I went to family dinners where at the end of the night I'd leave and go
  • sleep in my car in the Walmart parking lot and nobody blinked. I brought that up to my mom and she immediately said that my own bad choices are why I ended up living in
  • my car and they were not required to coddle me as a grown woman. I said it goes both ways. She said I was being a petty brat. I ended the call. My sister later called me about it and asked me what my problem was and
  • why I'm still holding ancient grudges against the rest of them and how this trip was supposed to be a big reset for the family. I do know that there are a few members of my family I probably
  • won't see again if I don't go. This is the main reason I wonder if I'm just holding onto hurt or if it's "justified" for me to do this. AITA for not going to the family reunion and picking my roommate instead?
  • Personal_Valuable_31 Tell her: A vacation at this time is a financially poor decision, and you have no inclination to make another bad decision where you may need help and can not count
  • on family. This trip is not something that you budgeted for it was sprung on you at the last minute, without even asking if it was feasible for you, and you have prior commitments.
  • Reclinerbabe If this was supposed to be a "big reset" for the family, they sure went about it in a strange way. Unfortunately, your mother and your sister showed you why you shouldn't feel bad in any way for not wanting to go to this circus.
  • If there are any older family members that you miss, just drop them a card and say you're thinking of them with love and hope to see them soon. Loving, simple, and not involving them in any drama.
  • Then go have fun with your friend. I did the same thing with a friend one year -- East Coast craft fairs all summer, selling her jewelry. It was SO MUCH FUN!!! Have a blast. Just remember your friends are the family you choose! Big hug!
  • angelicak92 If my family were okay with me sleeping in a carbto get out of an unhealthy relationship, then I'd never speak to them again - mother and sister included. For my children, they know that when
  • they're older, they can always come home for any reason and that their friends can always find a home here too. That's what family is, not whatever fake show pony fuckery your relatives are on about. Nta

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