18-year-old brings 38-year-old friend as date to family dinner to call out her 45-year-old dad for cheating on her mom with a 20-year-old: 'I know it's extremely immature of me, but I wanted to show him how it feels'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Apr 24, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

Everyone feels differently about age gap relationships. I know someone who is in her mid-twenties, and literally thinks it's unethical to date anyone younger than her. If we could only be in relationships with people who were born the exact same year as us, that would make love and relationships borderline impossible. While most people do not pathologize age gaps of less than three years (depending on what those three years are), there are pretty good reasons to pathologize age gaps of 20+ years. There's a big difference between a 25-year-old and a 35-year-old getting married, and an 18-year-old and a 38-year-old getting married. While the latter union is technically legal and both parties might stand to gain something from it, the age gap itself might present some major power imbalances that will significantly influence whether the marriage ends in flames or happily ever after…the former being more likely. 

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  • Age gap relationships are only half the problem in this story. The main problem is that this 18-year-old's dad cheated on her mom (both in their mid-40s) with a woman who was barely older than she is now. When she tried to make a point about it during Easter, it all blew up. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10497876480
    via Andrej Lišakov (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    AITA for bringing a much older guy to Easter dinner after my dad left my mom for someone close to my age?

    I (18F) moved out at 15 when I got into a boarding school abroad. When I was 12, my dad (45M) cheated on my mom (43F) with a woman (26F) who was 20 at the time. They ended up divorcing, and he's been with her ever since. She's only a few years
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    older than me, and for the past few years, she's been at every family holiday. She's clearly only after his money, but hes too stupid and stubborn to understand.
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    Cheezburger Image 10497881088
    via Wesley Tingey (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    This year, for Easter, I flew back home and asked a friend of mine (38M) to come with me and pretend to be my boyfriend just for a few days at my home.
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    After dinner, my dad pulled me aside and told me he felt uncomfortable with the situation. I told him I didn't do anything wrong and that, after him, love has no age. He told me that I ruined everyones Easter by being selfish and bringing someone his age to dinner.
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    I flew back to school, but now I'm getting messages from a few relatives saying I should apologize to my dad and break up with my "boyfriend." I haven't responded. I don't think I'm in the wrong because hes made my life uncomfortable since the moment he cheated on my mom. AITA?
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    Edit- seems like many think its a lie lol, i would too, but i met my friend in a book club when i moved to the us (im from europe) and he's been a great father figure to me tbh. When i had no friends there he would buy me
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    Cheezburger Image 10497881344
    via Andrej Lišakov (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    dinner and actually spend time with me, and hes recently divorced (from his hs sweetheart) so he would've spent easter alone anyway, therefore decided to take him with and show him around.
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    For reference, I didn't say half of the bad things my dad did, or the whole story, it would've been too long, but trust me, cheating isnt the only thing he did.
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    I KNOW THIS IS IMMATURE PEOPLE! I know its extremely immature of me, but I wanted to show him how it feels. Thanks a lot for the advice everyone, III update for Christmas, lol.
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    izzi_b NTA and I think you made an excellent statement this way. You could even tell people we tend to copy our parents behaviour
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    Wonderful_Horror7315 "I learned by watching you!"
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    Living_Bee_8436 NTA. Cause you gave the taste of his own medicine. It's okay you don't owe an apology and where were these relatives when he cheated on your mom?
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    AgreeableBreak2630 Absolutely! He didn't even consider your feelings back then or how would it make you feel. Who is him to insist on something he didn't give you. He deserved it. NTA
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    BrohanGutenburg That's why he is uncomfortable with it. He knows why he dated a woman so much younger than himself so it scares him. Creep.
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    Usual-Canary-7764 OP tell everyone family member asking you to break up that they should lead the way and divorce or break up with their significant other or shut up. It's funny how uncomfortable the shoe gets when it's on the other foot. Daddy is finding out that children play by parents' rules sometimes. NTA
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    DesireeThymes I like how the the person who actually cheated is talking about being uncomfortable
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    live2begrateful I love your energy. Ask your family to explain the difference between what you are doing and what your dad is doing. When they can't, ask them to keep their opinions to themselves.
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    lulugingerspice Story time. My biological father did pretty much the same thing as OP's father, except he married the 18 year old when he was in his mid 40s. She was younger than 2 of my siblings, FYI. Thankfully, this story has a happy ending. I somewhat recently discovered that, after over 10 years, the girl realized exactly how f ed up the whole thing was and left his a !
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    I was a preteen when they got married, and I remember thinking that she was just as culpable in that awful, creepy situation as he was. It took until I was an adult reflecting on it all to realize and internalize that she was EIGHTEEN. She was a CHILD. If she ever sees this (unlikely), I want her to know that I now think she's a total bada and I'm proud of her for escaping, and I'm sorry for being so stuck up and bitchy as a kid.
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    youcantfindme_7 he's uncomfortable because he knows the only reason older men date younger women is for the power imbalance, so it makes him nervous to think his daughter is gonna be taken advantage of/manipulated.. just like how he probably took advantage of/manipulated that 20 year old (shame on her for getting with a married man too no matter the age. go to therapy)
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    Ok-Till-5285 NTA, What is good for the goose, is good for the gander and all that lol! I would act confused and just say " I am confused, Dad are 20 years apart, so are my BF and I, what is and wrong?"
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    Silly_Lab_2392 Ask the relatives to point out the differences between the two relationships... what is bad about yours that it's good about his. Put them in the uncomfortable position of having to justify their reasoning. The character growth will do them good. BTW your mother is a saint for putting up with this, and your friend is awesome to play along.
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    EyCeeDedPpl NTA- however I challenge the old misogynistic description that a young woman dating or marrying an older wealthier man is a gold digger and her partner is "too stupid" to realize. It's a business arrangement. She's a "gold digger" and he's an "eye-candy digger". They both get something from the relationship that's not love. One is getting financial security, the other an ego boost.
    via u/EyCeeDedPpl
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    offinthepasture My only concern here would be the friend and being very clear about your relationship. A recently divorced man is a confused and stupid thing and may interpret a woman's attention in unpredictable ways. Source: I was once a recently divorced man. Beyond that potential concern, no, you did well.
    via u/offinthepasture
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    Adorable_Cost806 OP You think? Hes a close friend and I never thought how he'd feel, I was glad he accepted when I asked. Thanks for that view though, I was too focused on my dad to think about him Should I ask him or what do you think I should do? I have absolutely no interest whatsoever in him
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    offinthepasture Just be honest. It's not a major concern but it was the only negative I could think of. A recently divorced man traveling to meet some one else's family is a bold decision so it made me wonder. I am not thinking it's a big deal or something to be overly concerned about and I certainly have no idea what he actually thought of the situation. Just be mindful when talking to him. He's got feelings and they will be raw and fluid at the moment and he may struggle to place them. A frien
    via u/offinthepasture

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boyfriend family drama friends wife parenting girlfriend friend cheating dad dinner cheater family infidelity family dinner mom parents reddit story
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