Parents deny 13-year-old daughter the right to go to private school because she isn't good at STEM like her 15-year-old sister is: 'We are not going to be sending her there'

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Apr 29, 2025 7:00 PM EDT

These parents seem to treat sending their kids to school as more of a business transaction than anything else. Sure, if you're in the position to send your kids to an exclusive private school, you might want to ensure that wherever you choose to send them will be worth the hefty price of admission. However, for the vast majority of decent parents out there, any skepticism they may have about whether or not they are making the right choice is typically reserved to the school itself, not the capabilities of their own kid.

In this instance, we have a couple who felt that their older daughter was a perfect fit for a private school due to her interest in STEM, while their younger daughter was unfit simply because she was more interested in the arts. From personal experience, I can confidently say that assessing whether or not your child is academically intelligent cannot be easily decided when they are in middle school. Students grow and evolve in surprising ways, and having a kid's parents limit their possibilities is nothing more than a discouraging sign. Keep scrolling below for the full story and for the scathing reactions from folks in the comments section!

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    Cheezburger Image 10500004608
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • The most disappointing part of this saga is that in the father's follow-up to his original post, he still could not understand why he upset so many members of the online community when he dismissed his daughter's capabilities simply due to her lack of interest in math and science. What a limited perspective of the world, dude!

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    "AITA for not sending younger daughter to private school?"

    Really wondering if I am the in this situation or just being reasonable with finances. Thanks in advance for help.
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    I have two daughters, Abby and Sarah. Abby is two years older than Sarah, and is incredibly diligent, hardworking and intelligent.
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    She is a sophomore in high school, where she excels in all her subjects in school, and is in honors and higher level (junior/senior) classes. She attends a private school,
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    where we pay a pretty hefty tuition, but it was obvious to me and my wife in her middle school years that she would do great there, so we bit the bullet and paid. She has proven us right in every regard.
    via Direct-Caterpillar77
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    Sarah is in the eighth grade, and has already begun to excitedly talk about how excited she is about the art program at the private school her sister attends. Sarah has a beautiful heart and is one of the kindest people I know.
    via Direct-Caterpillar77
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    She is also very talented at art, but the program at our local public high school is good as well. She is not as diligent or hardworking as Abby is (or was at Sarah's age), and can be a bit of a slacker when it comes to STEM. She does alright in English and History, about average.
    via Direct-Caterpillar77
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    Yesterday, we sat down with Sarah and explained to her that the private school was not a good fit for her like it was for Abby, and we are not going to be sending her there. She immediately
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    burst into tears, saying she knew we didn't love her as much, think she was as talented, etc. We assured her time and time again that we did love her, we thought she was very smart and talented,
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    but simply would not fit in at the private school, which is full of straight A students. She asked if we could look into more arts oriented programs for her, and we told her no because we simply do not
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    see the same ratio of monetary value to educational value - Abby is essentially guaranteed a spot in the Ivies, while Sarah would be better suited for an arts school,
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    which we do plan to pay for after she graduates high school. She told us we did not value her, preferred her older sister, etc. Abby overheard all of this and is siding with her sister, saying she will refuse to go to the private school again in the fall
    via Direct-Caterpillar77
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    unless Sarah is with her. My wife and I are certain they are being melodramatic teenage girls. AITA here?
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    VERDICT: A. OLE RELEVANT COMMENTS psychominnie624 YTA The world would be a very ding place if everyone was in STEM. Just because her talents lie outside of "guaranteed ivies" doesn't mean they don't have intrinsic value and shouldn't be nurtured.
    via Direct-Caterpillar77
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    OOP Understand completely. This is why we buy her art products, allow her to take art classes at her school instead of more STEM oriented electives. But it just does not make sense to me to pay for her to attend a school that does not suit her.
    via Direct-Caterpillar77
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    psychominnie624 So send her to an arts based private school. They exist and would guarantee her a spot at a top arts institute.
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    OOP Don't really understand how I am supposed to justify, financially, sending her to do something that she is already doing well at home. You simply do not need arts schools the way that you need regular ones. She has natural talent and can foster it without me spending thousands.
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    OOP Adds Congratulations on your educational advances. I'm sure you will do well! If I have to be honest, I see art as more of a hobby and not a career. I am fully willing to support my daughter in her hobbies but I really do not understand how I am supposed to throw money. at HIGH SCHOOL where it will just dig her deeper into a non lucrative niche.
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    Update Apr 9, (next day) UPDATE: I do not know if there's generally updates here but the amount of aggressive and angry messages I received (thanks)
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    showed me that if people are passionate about a stranger then I must be bigger ☐ than I thought. I still do not see the other side of the situation and think I am correct but this is bigger than me and I decided it is not worth it to lose a relationship with my daughter on the off chance that they are right.
    via Direct-Caterpillar77
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    My wife encouraged me to look into art programs for Sarah, saying she did not want to take the back seat on this one since Sarah spent most of the night crying to mom. I have apologised to both of them (as well as Abby) and agreed to send her to a private school as well. I still think it is low-merit
    via Direct-Caterpillar77
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    so I told Sarah she could attend the arts-oriented program on the condition she also utilize the other resources (STEM, English, etc.) at the school. Thank you for the CONSTRUCTIVE feedback, some of you.
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    TOP COMMENTS evilqueenmarceline How do you still not see the other side of this? 100 people have laid it out for you 100 different ways. And just so you know, if your attitude towards Sarah continues to remain unchanged (as it seems it will), you'll cause long-
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    lasting problems for her and your family even if you send her to the private school. This is more than the school. It's about your underlying feelings about your daughter's worth.
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    BagelsAndje He's already done that. His daughter knows he doesn't give a da☐ about her and she's going to carry that weight forever. This dude better hope his daughter can forgive him but he's probably going to do some other preferential ☐ down
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    the road that's going to destroy his relationship with his daughter.
    via Direct-Caterpillar77

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family drama school sisters stem family feud private school parenting high school family daughter Parenting Fail Parenting FAILS
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