11-year-old asks 20-year-old babysitter for a cup of coffee, babysitter asks her dad if she's allowed to have it, leaving dad enraged that he questioned her: 'Did you think my daughter is a liar?’

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
May 3, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

Kids lie all the time. It doesn't matter if they've been in a religious institution since birth that instructs them not to lie; they will lie about something. Heck, I know people who grew up Catholic and lied about sins they didn't commit so that they could have something to talk about in confession! It should be no surprise that kids take advantage of those around them, considering that adults do the same thing. 

Youths are not the perfect little angels we like to pretend they are. There's this pervasive cultural idea that children are innocent, and society corrupts them. I'm more of the belief that kids are corrupted from the jump, and society is the thing that keeps them in line. We would all do bad things if there weren't any fear of social repercussions or punishments. If you like to think you wouldn't, I've got a bridge to sell you. 

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  • The babysitter in this story has a healthy distrust of the 11-year-old he's babysitting. When she asked if she could have a coffee, he asked if her dad would allow that, and of course, she said, “Yes.” Wanting to make sure, he asked her dad, who had an unorthodox response to such a banal query.

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    via Curated Lifestyle (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    AITA for not taking an 11 year old’s word for it?

    My(20) dad made some friends when he studied abroad. One of them is on a visit in our country right now, and he brought his daughter(11) with him. He asked if I could take her to our National Museum since it's 'good for kids to practice some art appreciation.' I said 'Sure!' She wasn't very enthusiastic about it though.
    via u/CryptographerSad7952
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    When we were waiting for the opening time, she pointed at a nearby cafe and asked if I could buy her a cup of coffee, saying it's the least I could do before making her spend two hours look at some boring stuff. I hesitated and she said her dad lets her drink latte so I called him just to check. He said yes before asking 'Did you think my daughter is a liar?'
    via u/CryptographerSad7952
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    via René Ranisch

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    And I didn't know what to say. It didn't occur to me that that was what I was insinuating when I was expressing my doubt. I just wanted to be sure. Ended up buying her oat milk latte(her preference) before taking her on a tour. Don't know if I was too anxious but when I took her back to the hotel her dad seemed kind of frosty towards me.
    via u/CryptographerSad7952
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    Elivercury Nah, absolutely NTA. Kids (in the general sense) will constantly push boundaries, particularly with people who don't know any better, and coffee is absolutely one of those things many parents will restrict kids having access to.
    via u/Elivercury
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    I think his response sounds a bit extreme to be honest, you've known this girl presumably for all of two seconds and you've no idea if she's a habitual liar or a saint. If it gets brought up again I'd just play it off as being nervous due to not having much experience with children and while you believed her you considered that her being allowed it in certain situations didn't automatically mean she'd be allowed it in this instance and taking 30s to check seemed the smarter plan than assuming an
    via u/Elivercury
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    Mariposa Peligrosa Kids (in the general sense) will constantly push boundaries, particularly with people who don't know any better, Now imagine being a teacher with a whole room full of 11 and 12 year olds doing this all day long...and yes we have parents just like this dad. They believe their child has done no wrong and every teacher they've had has just been out to get their child... Agreed NTA
    via u/MariposaPeligrosa
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    no33limit Absolutely, dad should have thanked you for checking and I also think the dad is being aggressive as way to deflect the really questionable practice of cafinated drinks for kids. Don't get me wrong with "energy" drinks everywhere a latte is far from the end of the world but still...
    via u/no33limit
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    ClickClackTipTap Same kind of parent to scream "WHO THE HL GIVES COFFEE TO AN 11 YEAR OLD?" if you didn't check, too. I'm so sorry, but if he did that to me I would have packed her right back into the car without her precious coffee and canceled the whole day. You were doing them a favor and that's a ridiculous amount of disrespect. Nope. I would have ABSOLUTELY tapped out.
    via u/ClickClackTipTap
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    doubleshotofbland NTA. Checking with a parent before giving a kid you have never met before food is considerate and safe. Maybe they were allowed it one time, that doesn't mean it's universal approval and the kid may misrepresent that even unintentionally. Maybe the kids would just say "I'm allowed lattes" and neglect to mention they need lactose-free milk due to allergies.
    via u/doubleshotofbland
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    Or maybe they are a liar because they're 11 and sometimes kids (and adults!) lie when they want something and think they can get away with it. You did the right thing, the dad was a
    via u/doubleshotofbland
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    Scratchy-cat Exactly this, my child is 8 and has asked for coffee, he doesn't like coffee and doesn't actually want coffee he just wants a sip of someone else's coffee so I would rather whoever was looking after him checked with me first rather than waste money
    via u/Scratchy-cat
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    julet1815 My 5yo nephew will tell you that he drinks coffee, but it's actually a cup of chocolate milk with a little splash of regular milk. And he knows that, but he still calls it coffee.
    via u/julet1815
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    WalkingOnSunshine83 The father should have been grateful that OP took his bratty daughter to a museum.
    via u/WalkingOnSunshine83
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    only_cr4nk The second she said that sentence I would've just returned her to her dad.
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    Appropriate-Error239 NTA. My response would have been along the lines of "I have no idea if she is a liar. I just met her. But I do think she is 11 and you are her father. And that is why I asked."
    via u/Appropriate-Error239
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    Spare Necessary_810 This is such a good response. Of course op didn't think 'she was a liar', she didn't make any judgement at all, except the entirely sensible one to check with the supposedly responsible parent. Child may well have omitted the 'but only decaf' or something. Father and daughter sound like AH's, you are NTA.
    via u/Spare Necessary_810
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    SeorniaGrim NTA I would never assume an 11-year-old was allowed coffee to begin with, so I would have called no matter what. That is kinda nuts. My sister used to let her youngest have 'coffee' at that age as a treat, but it was basically a mug of steamed milk with like a tablespoon of coffee in it lol. Amusingly, I found that out because my niece told me she was allowed to have coffee one weekend I watched them for my sister. I was shocked and called my sister asking her she was thinking, and s
    via u/SeorniaGrim
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    FWIW, had anyone spoken to me like that, they would have been drinking water out of a water fountain if they were thirsty. I most definitely wouldn't have bought them anything!
    via u/SeorniaGrim
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    Muscular_thighs In some cultures they give coffee to kids. The father is still a complete j for his attitude towards her. I would have taken the kid home, she didn't want to go anyway
    via u/Muscular_thighs
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    anniebarlow We have a day at the school at work that latte is on the menu. For all ages beginning at 7 year olds. It's pretty common here for kids to drink coffee But yeah. If someone from another country brings their kid and I'm responsible, I'm pretty much gonna check and even ask before leaving if any food is "forbidden"
    via u/anniebarlow
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    GrapefruitNo9284 Course you're NTA OP. Why on earth is an 11 year old drinking coffee? Father should be appreciative you took the extra step to verify with him, instead of getting all pissy. Don't sweat it OP, just back out of this situation. It's more stress than it's worth.
    via u/GrapefruitNo9284
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    Conscious_Crew5912 There are many countries where young children often drink coffee (France, Spain, Italy, etc). Some have 12 to 16 year olds drinking wine with dinner, usually watered down. It helps in teaching kids moderation and because it isn't "forbidden", kids to sneak around, get drink, etc. Different cultures/ different customs.
    via u/Conscious_Crew5912

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babysitter entitled parents entitled parent reddit story parenting babysitting dad coffee coffee cup Parenting Fail parents latte Father Parenting FAILS museum
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