28-year-old daughter entrusts 30-year-old bestie with baking a cake for her mom's 60th birthday, friend ignores mother's serious almond allergy: 'She could either make a new cake or I wouldn't be paying'

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
May 4, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

Sometimes, mixing friendship and business does not work out in the end. Unfortunately, far too many people have to learn this the hard way. In this instance, the author of this tale thought she could trust her best friend, a professional baker, with making a cake for her mother's 60th birthday party. Let's just say that it did not exactly go as planned.

One of the biggest mistakes that was made here was confusing what it means to be supportive of your friend's career while also planning a more high-stakes event. Tackling both of these tasks at once is nearly impossible for all involved. So, when the author's best friend completely messed up the cake by forgetting the serious allergy the author's mother has, it was only a matter of time before things were going to start hitting the fan. Keep scrolling below for the author's full account of her seemingly long-lasting rift with her friend.

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  • Here's hoping that these two friends can recover from this fight and acknowledge where they both went wrong. In our opinion, the author's only vice here was perhaps putting too much faith in her friend. It doesn't seem like this is the most trustworthy individual if she decided to make an almond cake when the ONE ingredient she was told to avoid was almond. That's not the kind of attention to detail you want from a baker. Unfortunately, this baker happened to also have a long-standing relationship with the customer, so telling each other off would be especially hurtful to both parties. What would you have done in this situation?

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    "AITAH for refusing to pay my friend for a custom cake because it included something I’m allergic to?"

    My (28F) friend (30F) is a self-taught baker who recently started her own small business. She's made some great cakes in the past, and I wanted to
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    support her, so I asked if she could make a cake for my mom's 60th birthday. I told her I wanted something floral and elegant, and I gave her some examples. I also told
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    her clearly that my mom is allergic to almonds like, epi-pen level allergic. She agreed, and I paid her a $100 deposit for the $250 cake. A week later, I
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    went to pick it up and she was so proud of it. It looked beautiful, honestly, but when I asked what flavor it was, she told me it was almond vanilla,
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    because she thought it gave it a "more upscale taste."
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    I was shocked. I reminded her my mom is allergic to almonds, and she just kind of brushed it off and said it was such a small
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    amount and it would be fine as long as my mom didn't eat too much. I told her I couldn't take the cake, and she got upset,
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    saying I was being overdramatic and ungrateful for all her hard work.
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    I told her she could either make a new cake or I wouldn't be paying the rest. She refused, and now mutual friends are telling
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    me I should've just accepted it and gotten a different dessert for my mom. Others say I was right not to risk it.
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    IPYATA! 60
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    I didn't mean to cause drama, but I'm honestly hurt that she ignored something so serious. AITA?
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    Turbulen... 10h ago NTA and her business isn't going to last long
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    • sickBhag... 10h ago That's ridiculous, you stated almond allergy as one of the very few no-nos and she went ahead and made a cake the person who celebrates cannot eat.
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    Kindly-P... 10h ago • Let's say you didn't ask about the cake and your mom ate the whole slice and was rushed to the hospital-would you be thinking you're the AH then? H I no!!
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    You'd be fuming that the moron you gave clear instructions to not include almonds due to severe allergies, decided on her own accord that
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    it was not a big deal to add almonds.. NTA. She should be apologizing for her lapse of judgment, and making a new cake for your mom.
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    maccrog... • 10h ago NTA Your "friend" needs to become certified in food safety.
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    Allergies will be covered in the class. Honestly, as she completely misunderstands allergies, if I were you, I wouldn't eat anything she'd made.
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    Fun-Tran... • 10h ago • get your 100$ backkk
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    Ok_Copy... • 10h ago NTA anyone expecting you to buy a separate cake for your mom on her birthday you ordered this cake for us ridiculous
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cake friendship family drama AITAH allergies birthday mother entitled people karma motherdaughter daughter entitled people
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