Friend gets bestie's full government name tattooed on their arm without their permission, friend wants them to remove it: 'I'm not even sure if I want to continue this friendship'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
May 5, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

Tattoos are, classically, forever. They're on your skin for the rest of your life, whether you like it or not. That's the reason you get one, so you can be reminded of [insert design choice here] for the rest of your days. This is why it is not a decision to take lightly. You want to really mull it over from all angles, think about it for a long time, and even try it out on your skin for a couple of days before you commit to the full thing. But tattoos are often an impulse decision. 

You might get one in a moment when you're feeling chaotic and you just need to do something about it. Getting a tattoo can feel like cutting bangs or buying a plane ticket to another country. It scratches the impulse itch and scratches it well. And that isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes, though, it really is.

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    Cheezburger Image 10502001408
    via Unsplash+ (Diana Light)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Like in this situation when a person got a pretty strange tattoo without thinking it fully through. Even worse, they got a tattoo that was inspired by someone, and that someone had no idea about it. What they thought would be a nice surprise ended up causing a major rift in the friendship. Read on for the story and see what you think. 

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    AITA for demanding my friend to get rid of the tattoo they got for me

    I think I've handled this but I just HAVE to get this off my chest because it's crazy. My best friend of about 7 or 8 years got my full government name tattooed in a very large font on their wrist as a surprise for my birthday without asking my permission. I mean my
    via u/b**lave
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    full first middle and last name. It's absolutely massive and bold. It was so shocking and I had to call them maybe 4 hours later after I processed to tell them that it absolutely has to go and I am not okay with it. I mean my full name just absolutely branded on their
    via u/b**lave
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    wrist. They had pure intentions but I was just absolutely not okay with it, if they had asked me about this I would have told them absolutely not. It doesn't help that we ran into eachother at Walmart when I was with my
    via u/b**lave
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    boyfriend and we were both shown at the same time. He obviously doesn't like it either. It's just so jarring to see my name like that. Im not even sure if I want to continue this friendship because it just feels disrespectful???
    via u/b**lave
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    Commenters gave their opinions on what they thought this girl should do.

    nuggets256 • 2h ago NTA but this is tricky, you're not at all the a hole for not liking the tattoo and they're certainly the a h le for getting it as a surprise, but unfortunately since it's their body I don't know that you can demand they remove it. You can certainly request it. and end the friendship either way, but ultimately it's up to them which (horrifying) tattoos to keep
    via u/nuggets256
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    bjslave OP. 2h ago Yeah if I decide to end the friendship, hopefully they will get rid of it either way.
    via u/b**lave
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    ProfessorDistinct8... 2h ago NTA. That's giving obsessed vibes. And to do it without talking to you about it is just next level weird. Not sure you can "demand" they do anything it's their body - so now that the shock is - over try to have a calm conversation with them about why this is not ok for you.
    via u/ProfessorDistinct835
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    NectarineAny4897 • 2h ago What are the "pure intentions" that you mentioned? Exactly?
    via u/NectarineAny4897
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    III.MCMXCIX Anfasa AKULAH
    via Cinnamon roll

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    bjslave OP • 2h ago Their reasoning is that we've been best friends for years and ride or dies. And they thought that I would be proud. But in all honesty I don't even want my first middle and last name on my mom's body. This whole tattoo deal just doesn't sit right with me at all
    via u/b**lave
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    Own_Ranger3296 • 1h ago :0 YIKES Question: Any chance they're in love with you? And what's their age? Are you all in a state of transition (leaving college. etc) or do they maybe have some burgeoning mental health stuff going on?
    via u/Own_Ranger3296
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    As for getting rid of the tattoo, it's their body, their choice, but you're allowed to be sketched out and maybe get some distance between you both
    via u/Own_Ranger3296
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    relativeroadstealer 2h ago Sounds like your friend is in love with you. You can't control what they do but you can control your reaction - if you feel truly uncomfortable with their behaviour, you stop hanging out with them. What they decide to do with the tattoo, is up to them.
    via u/relativeroadstealer
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    Cultural Economy... • 2h ago NTA, I would be horrified if my best friend did the samething. But sadly it's their body and choice if they want to keep it or not. All you can do is ask them to remove it, but maybe end the friendship and hope they will remove it or get it covered. You are not in the wrong, but your friend is.
    via u/Cultural_Economy6428
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    sabek 1h ago . NTA my uncle who has lots of tattoos told me a long time ago there are only 2 names you tattoo on yourself. Your name because you will always be you and your mom because your mom will always be your mom. Everything else has the potential to end up badly.
    via u/sabek
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    bjslave OP. 56m ago I would like to say that I am a straight woman in a relationship and this person is a nonbinary person (from female)
    via u/b**lave
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    FilthyDaemon • 2h ago This is weird. Do y'all look alike? Because I'm getting Single White Female vibes; like is this person going to try to off you & take over your identity?
    via u/FilthyDaemon
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    You can't MAKE them change it or cover it up, but NTA for being uncomfortable and asking. It might just be easier to change your name at this point and start over in a new city.
    via u/FilthyDaemon
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    LilPebzz 1h ago . You're in no position to demand anything. Their body, their choice That said, the tattoo is creepy af. I would seriously reconsider the friendship
    via u/LilPebzz
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    Thediciplematt • 2h ago NTA That's pretty weird, mate.
    via u/Thediciplematt
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    morepics2024hw⚫ 1h ago You have a strange (and scary) friend.
    via u/morepics2024hw
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    NoDevice8072 • 1h ago Put it this way..if you were a guy and their best friend they wouldn't of got your name tattooed, period. That should tell you everything. Best friends you plan a tattoo together, get matching tattoos, similar tattoos, go at same time.. something like this
    via u/NoDevice8072
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    You don't randomly get the others name tatted .it's like his way of thinking you'll be around forever so he'll eventually have you as his girlfriend..that's how it comes off
    via u/NoDevice8072

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friendship relationship advice arm tattoos aita drama AITAH best friends storytime friends listen to your friends reddit story relationships friend drama tattoos friend story reddit thread Reddit discourse conflict
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