Mom plays favorites with her identical twin daughter's late sister, then the 24-year-old sets the lies straight after her mother paints her as the ‘evil twin’ in front of her future in-laws: ‘[Mom] pretends she was an angel who lit up our lives’

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
May 5, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

Identical twins can be tricky to identify, and even a loving parent can struggle to see the difference between the two. But when the two twins have drastically different personalities—like when one is diabolically cruel, outgoing, and loud, while the other is shy and reserved—the glaring idiosyncrasies in their character stand out more than any facial features do. 

This identical twin was tired of being misidentified as her 'legitimately disturbed' sister. 

Although she tragically passed as a teenager from cancer, this twin knew, even a decade later, that her sister's diabolical tendencies would have landed her an even worse fate than a hospital bed. Naturally, their grieving mother deluded herself for years, gaslighting herself into thinking her lost twin was the angelic one. Alas, when this twin finally moved on from her late-sister's drama, her delulu mother dredged up the past to drive a wedge between them and her daughter's fiancé's family.  

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  • I (24F) had a twin sister who tragically passed away from cancer when we were 15. We looked exactly alike- down to the tiniest detail. You know how some twins have subtle
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  • differences that make it easy to tell them apart? We didn't. The only difference was our personalities. I was the quiet, shy one. She was the loud, outgoing one-though not particularly well-liked.
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  • Before the cancer, my entire family knew that my sister had... issues. Not to speak ill of the de d, but she was legitimately disturbed. She tortured animals, stole from vulnerable people
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  • (elderly, homeless, children), and I honestly believe that if she hadn't passed away, she would either be in jail for something horrific or de d in some other tragic way.
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  • After her death, my family collectively decided to never speak about it again. They pretend she was an angel who lit up our lives. I've always just gone along with that for the sake of peace.
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  • 餃
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  • Anyway, I had my birthday party and my now-fiancé (we've been together since I was 19, he's 2 years older) proposed to me. He never met my sister. During the party, my mom
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  • suddenly started talking about how much my sister would have loved to be there and began telling childhood stories... except she completely twisted them and made it sound like I was the crazy one who did all those horrible things. My fiancé just stood there in shock. I was speechless.
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  • We didn't cause a scene-we just exchanged a look like " ?" and got through the rest of the party. When we got home, he told me he needed a break and couldn't be with someone who'd done those things. I tried to
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  • explain, but he thought I was just doing damage control and refused to listen. He packed a bag and left while I was crying my eyes out. He ignored all my calls and texts for
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  • days. I finally called my mom, begging her to tell him the truth, and she just said, "Leave it be. If he wouldn't accept you with your sister's faults, he wasn't worth it." I hung up on her and haven't spoken to her since.
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  • I finally said screw it. I logged into my sister's old Instagram account (we had the passwords growing up) where she used to post everything-from when she'd run away, to the messed-up stuff she did. I drove to my fiancé's
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  • brother's house where he was staying, showed him the proof, and even got in touch with people from our past-old friends, family members, her nurse, and some of our former teachers. Everyone who responded confirmed that I was the normal twin and she was the disturbed one.
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  • My fiancé and I are fine now-still engaged. But now my mom is throwing a fit that I "dragged the family name through the mud" and says I don't deserve to be in love because my sister "went through so much." I mean... it's pretty obvious now where my sister got her issues from.
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  • Some relatives and friends are saying I should've just told my fiancé the truth directly instead of involving his whole family. I didn't want any of them doubting me, especially with how believable my mom made her version sound.
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  • So AITAH for calling out my mom's lies and making sure my fiancé's family knew the truth, even if it meant airing some ugly history?
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  • And for those saying I should leave my soon to be husband I am not. In the moment he took my facial reaction in the wrong way and my silence was also weird and wrong of me. We've spoken
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  • and are fine. To those saying he's a sh person he really is not. If someone told you your spouse was basically on track to becoming a serial killer are you gonna be like 'welp!! Guess that's fine!' No you're gonna react badly.
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  • Update 2: I've decided to go LC with my mom until she shows actual change. My wedding isn't going to be for awhile so I don't have to start uninviting people yet.
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  • Special_Lychee_6847 'I don't deserve to be in love, because my sister went through so much' That is DEEPLY disturbing, to be honest. I wouldn't trust her anywhere near the wedding or the
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  • inlaws. You mom needs serious therapy. Also makes me think she knew exactly what she was doing. NTA
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  • Backgrounding-Cat. NTA your mom is the one who put the mud on the table. She could have been quiet if she didn't want people to know the truth
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