Stubborn 49-year-old Dad refuses to give up man cave to daughter and future son-in-law during their visit 'It's not just a hobby, [it's] art!'

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
May 8, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

Talk about not leaving a good impression on your future son-in-law! We understand, of course, that as people get older, they become more set in their ways. That being said, hospitality is a virtue, and this stubborn guy's midlife crisis seems to be getting in the way of his sense of decency.

The first time future in-laws meet can have, for better or for worse, lasting repercussions. You want to be your true self to people with whom you might be spending lots of time in the future, but you also need to retain some semblance of politeness and kindness. After all, you can always be your full, stubborn self after people get to know you. If you show all those cards at the first meeting, you may accidentally ruin your kid's relationship. Thankfully, this couple seemed pretty united on all fronts, so there was nothing the father's strange antics could do to seriously alter their relationship, but I wouldn't be surprised if the next time they visit, they opt to stay at a nearby hotel instead. 

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    So I (M49) might be in the wrong here, but I honestly don't think I am, and would love to hear outside perspectives.
    via LoveAndHappiness75
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    Cheezburger Image 10502833152
    via Jonathan Cosens Photography

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • After becoming an empty-nester, this father decided to deal with his impending midlife crisis by converting his guest room into a room full of miniatures, complete with 3D model printers, etc. Now, this is not to disparage this man's hobbies. In fact, it's a pretty cool way to channel effort and artistic energy. That being said, there is a perfectly usable king-sized bed in there that he refused to give up when his daughter and son-in-law were visiting. Instead, he made them sleep on the pull-out couch. Keep scrolling below for the full story and for the savage feedback he received in the comments from members of this online community.

  • 03
    My daughter (23F) got engaged recently and came to visit us with her fiancé (24M). We live a few states away, so I get that traveling is tiring, but we were happy to host, for the weekend.
    via LoveAndHappiness75
  • 04
    Now, I've had my guest room set up for my miniature wargaming for the past few years. It's my space, where I go to decompress after work, and it's honestly the only spot in the house that's fully mine. My wife has the sunroom,
    via LoveAndHappiness75
  • 05
    and the rest of the house is kind of communal. I've got thousands of dollars of models in there, custom terrain, a 3D printer setup, etc. It's not just a hobby, it's an investment, and frankly, a form of art.
    via LoveAndHappiness75
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    Anyway, when they arrived, I had the office couch made up for them, pull-out, memory foam, decent blanket, very clean. My
    via LoveAndHappiness75
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    daughter seemed fine with it, but her fiancé kind of made a face and later asked why they couldn't just sleep in the guest room. I
    via LoveAndHappiness75
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    told him plainly it wasn't available because it's not a guest room anymore. It's my studio.
    via LoveAndHappiness75
  • 09
    Later that night, my daughter confronted me privately and said I was being selfish and ridiculous and that it's just for two nights.
    via LoveAndHappiness75
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    She said they felt unwelcome and like I was prioritizing plastic figurines over family. I told her that's not fair, they have a place to sleep. It's not like I made them sleep on the floor.
    via LoveAndHappiness75
  • 11
    Now my wife is giving me the cold shoulder and said I could have just packed it up for a weekend, but again, it's not like these are toys you throw in a box.
    via LoveAndHappiness75
  • 12
    Some of them are fragile. Some are half-painted. I don't want to spend days reorganizing and then undoing all that work just because they didn't like the setup.
    via LoveAndHappiness75
  • 13
    They left a day early, and now I'm getting texts from my daughter about how I chose my hobby over her happiness, which just seems dramatic to me.
    via LoveAndHappiness75
  • 14
    I might be the ah le because maybe I could've moved some stuff around for a few nights, but I really don't think it's fair to expect me to dismantle my entire
    via LoveAndHappiness75
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    setup just because someone didn't want to sleep on a perfectly good pull-out. I have a right to my space too, right?
    via LoveAndHappiness75
  • 16
    Cheezburger Image 10502833664
    via Redd Francisco

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 17
    Coollogin ⚫ INFO: Why do you keep a bed in that room if you don't want anyone to sleep there?
    via LoveAndHappiness75
  • 18
    Hot_Store4097 · YTA. You made them sleep on a pullout couch when there was a perfectly usable King size bed going unused.
    via LoveAndHappiness75
  • 19
    My husband is in the middle of painting his first 40k army, so I get it. It can be a lot. But you still need to balance it with your interpersonal connections.
    via LoveAndHappiness75
  • 20
    You likely just assured that your daughter will deprioritize spending time with you. Be prepared for the fact that she'll likely spend time with her in-laws
    via LoveAndHappiness75
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    over you and your wife on holidays, since you lack the care to make them comfortable. Also be prepared that that fact is going to make your wife resentful of you.
    via LoveAndHappiness75
  • 22
    I couldn't imagine putting a hobby before my kids being comfortable.
    via LoveAndHappiness75
  • 23
    steinerific Your daughter thinks you chose your hobby over her comfort and, let's face it, there has never been a comfortable night sleep on a pull-out couch in a common
    via LoveAndHappiness75
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    area that anyone can wander through. And that's exactly what you did. If you want your daughter to visit, make your house a place she wants to visit. You didn't. YTA
    via LoveAndHappiness75

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