Dad demands ex-wife raise his 4-year-old son as if he were her own, convinces son to call her ‘mom’, she refuses to go along: ‘I don't want him at my home’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
May 14, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

No one wants to have a daily reminder of things that went wrong in their lives, staring them in their face on every turn. Usually, all you want is to bury those mistakes in the back of your mind, never to be addressed again, completely forgotten. But we know that life almost never goes the way you want it to, and facing the things that went wrong is just another natural course you have to let happen. 

To an extent, of course.

Sure, most people find themselves facing demons from their past, sometimes on a daily basis. But that doesn't mean they can't still set clear lines and borders to ensure the controls over their lives are still in their hands. There is a big difference between facing your demons and letting them take over your life, and the story below is the perfect example of a woman who refused to allow the latter to happen to her.

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  • This woman has a child with her ex-husband, so she can't really forget about him or bury that relationship in the back of her mind, because they have a son they have to raise together. However, when he came knocking on her door, asking her to help him raise his new kid, a child he had with a different woman, that is where the lines had to be drawn. That is where this ex-wife took the controls and didn't let anyone else tell her how to live her life.

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    Cheezburger Image 10505043712
    via charrongolf

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    AITAH for refusing to raise ex husband's child

    I am not american and given names are fake. I am Tory 35f and have a 10 year old son Neo with Jeff 35m. We divorced five years back, when he had an affair with
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    Rebecca. They have a four years old son Omar and Rebecca left them for her home country two years back. She left the kid for good and hasn't contacted since.
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    My ex, who was always r de before that has changed tunes since. During custody exchanges, he brings Omar and sometimes asked me to take him. Which I have
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    always refused. My son and his half brother are close and have developed bond like real brothers, which is fine to me. Because I don't
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    plan to have any kid. So it's good he has a sibling from his father's side. But i also made clear to my son, that I don't wanna associate with ex's family though therapy.
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    Last time he brought him fully ready with bag and when I said no. Kid said mommy take me too. I wasn't happy with this and had huge verbal clash with
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    my ex. I told him to stop brainwashing the poor kid, as I will never be his mother. My ex doubled down and told me that I am wonderful mother to Neo and I can
    via Beneficial_Curve3639
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    open my heart. Truth is I can't. Omar reminds me of their affair. I know that he is innocent, but I don't want him at my home. My son knows my boundary.
    via Beneficial_Curve3639
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    Ny
    via charrongolf

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    Now my ex in laws are asking me to show some compassion and love for the kid who is faultless. But I don't want to be associated as any motherly figure in his
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    life. They are calling me heartless for not taking the kid with me to my home and other places where I took Neo. They say he is without a mother. But I
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    really don't wanna associate with ex outside our son. I told them that if i had an affair and kid with some random man, would they
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    accept the kid ? That shut them up. Still they messaged me calling names.
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    wisegirlliana NTA. you don't have to raise someone else's kid. Block your ex inlaws and move on.
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    Rimuru_The_Junior NTA and ask your lawyer regarding the manipulation tactics your ex is doing to the poor kid who thinks your his mom.
    via Rimuru_The_Junior
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    Bublymangowater93 NTA, the child's biological family doesn't want to give him time or energy so they try to force him on you. He is not your responsibility and your ex needs to recognize being a
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    Curraghboy1 Nta, Tell the ex in laws that you are pregnant and are assuming they'll have no problem accepting this new unrelated child. Watch the back peddling.
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    Cute-Profession9983 Remind them WHY he is without a mother and WHY your ex is your ex and let them know if the kid needs a mother, any one of them can feel free to fill in the gap
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    mustang 19671967 You don't need to take him if you don't want to, but be careful as your son may start to resent you.
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    Beneficial_Curve3639 OP Why would he? He knows omar has a different mother. I don't bad mouth the kid. He knows the differences.
    via Beneficial_Curve3639

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