Childless dog mom chastises 64-year-old mother-in-law for sending Mother's Day gift baskets to other moms and not her: 'She clarified I have two grandkids by her already'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
May 14, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

In a world where women, in particular, are constantly told that having kids is the greatest thing that you could possibly do, struggling to conceive can be a crushing ordeal to go through. Wanting to start a family and then finding out that it is not going to be as straightforward as it is for other people is distressing, especially for those who choose to put in all of the extra work to try and achieve that goal.

It is no secret to those who have experienced or witnessed couples who struggle with fertility that it can be difficult to find ways to cope with it. It is not uncommon for this to manifest in wannabe parents becoming consumed with their pets. While there is nothing wrong with them loving an animal they have chosen to share their life with, it is fair to say that not everybody is going to share their enthusiasm.

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  • 01

    AITA for telling my DIL she is not a mother?

    I (64F) have three kids and they are all married. This post is about my son and his wife, Jenny. Jenny struggles with infertility and she has no children. My other son (DIL is expecting next month) and my daughter has recently had a her own kid (grandson). Everyone was busy for Mother's Day and they couldn't met up with me for the holiday (that fine, they are starting their own families). I thought it would be nice to send my expecting DIL/son and my daughter a Mother's Day basket.
    via InitialSong2898

  • This is something that one grandma came up against this Mother's Day, when she fell out with one of her daughters-in-law, who has fertility struggles. Her daughter had a child, and her other daughter-in-law was expecting, so she decided to get them each a gift basket for the holiday.

    Her daughter posted a picture of her gift in the family chat, thanking her mom for the gift. This led her childless daughter-in-law to question where her gift basket was, claiming that she was owed one due to being a mom to two dogs.

    The mother-in-law told her that having pets was not the same as having kids, and she and her husband got offended by what she had said. She wanted to know if she had gone too far.

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    Cheezburger Image 10505628672
    via Ivana Cajina (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 03
    So Jenny always made comments that her two dogs are the first grandkids, I always thought it was a joke. She is big on being a dog mom. My daughter posted a picture of in the group chat of everything she got for Mother's Day and included the basket. My other DIL also thanked me for her basket in the chat. Jenny called me soon after and asked where her basket was. I was confused and asked what she ment (I thought she was pregnant and she was just telling me now). She clarified since I have two gr
    via InitialSong2898
  • 04
    I was even more confused at this and she clarified that she is her dogs mother and should have gotten a basket. I told her she is not a mother, Mother's Day is for women that raise human children and not pet owners. She got really upset and cursed me out for not getting her a basket and that she is a parent. My son is telling me to apologize and to send a Mother's Day basket over. He is calling me aj for not sending her a basket and telling her she is a pet owner
    via InitialSong2898
  • 05
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    via Tamara Malaniy
  • 06

    Commenters had mixed feelings about the situation.

    AiofeCherish NTA. I understand that her infertility might be hard for her and she loves her dogs, but at the end of the day it really doesn't make her a mother. While people may love their pets (I love my dog), the reality is they aren't children.
    via AiofeCherish
  • 07
    Yosemite143 As a 40 year old with no children (by choice!), and 3 cats | would never expect someone to acknowledge me on Mother's Day. I kind of would be a little weirded out if they did. I consider my cats my babies, but thats a personal thing that I would never expect anyone else to acknowledge or honor. My only thought is maybe the infertility thing is really affecting her emotionally and its manifesting itself in this odd way.
    via Yosemite143
  • 08
    InAppropriate-meal NTA But... Since she struggles with infertility and mothers day and knowing your other DIL is pregnant must be very hard for her it would have been a nice gesture
    via InAppropriate-meal
  • 09
    Intelligent_Yam_3609 OP had no way of knowing how she would react to a Mother's Day basket. She may have viewed it as a painful reminder of her infertility. Once she learned of DIL's feelings I agree it would be a nice gesture to send one.
    via Intelligent_Yam_3609
  • 10
    Ok_Top_7535 So did your son give his wife a nice Mother's Day gift?
    via Ok_Top_7535
  • 11
    Pathunknown1 The AH is the one who posted it in the group chat!!!
    via Pathuknown1
  • 12
    Ok_Impression_7737 Technically NTA, but I'm sure with her infertility struggles, Mother's Day is a really difficult day for her. It'd be nice to acknowledge her feelings in some way.
    via Ok_Impression_7737
  • 13
    cola_zerola Off topic, just getting out my soap box. Possibly an AH for saying that Jenny struggles with infertility, not that they do as a couple. Are you specifically sure that it's Jenny who is infertile? I only ask because I've been through the h I that is infertility and everyone loves to assume it's the woman's, and only the woman's, "fault". If you do know it's an issue only on her side, eh, fine - but it's still something people endure as a couple. I just like to educate where I can. All
    via cola_zerola
  • 14
    thechaoticstorm NTA. I'm sympathetic to her struggles, but she is being unreasonable. As much as I love dogs, dogs are not human children. It makes no sense to expect a Mother's Day gift if you have never been pregnant or adopted children. She probably needs counseling.
    via thechaoticstorm
  • 15
    madra_crainn NTA ... but you could have been a lot more kind. Struggling with infertility can be a relentless emotional agony. The main reasons I think you are not the a-he are because you didn't bring it up in the group chat -- that really falls on your daughter. And then, it's wild to think that your DIL would demand to know where her basket is, again in the group chat. Super awkward. I can see why, when this was sprung on you unexpectedly, you reacted bluntly. But still, overall, she doesn't
    via madra_crainn
  • 16
    Oberyn Kenobi_1 YTA, and that's coming from someone who can barely understand why any woman would even want to be a mother, and I certainly don't feel much sympathy for infertile people - the planet has enough humans already, not the end of the world if you don't make more. I am the last person who should be saying YTA but, you're cold as ice. , lady, You know she's sensitive about it. You know she wants to be a mother. Gee, do you think she might be having an extra difficult time this year with
    via Oberyn_Kenobi_1
  • 17
    alyciamarie118 YTA, knowing that she has problems with infertility, you knowingly and purposely excluded her. This is coming from a person who doesn't have children by choice. I only have fur babies as well, and I don't expect for anyone to acknowledge me, but you somehow purposely singled her out, and that's kind of gross. She's your *Daughter* in law, but I assume this isn't the only time you've made her feel like an outsider.
    via alyciamarie118
  • 18
    pnwwaterfallwoman Jeebus.... Does your son demand a basket on Father's Day? Do they celebrate the dogs' birthdays and expect equal gifts for the canine and human grandchildren? Your son and DIL need counseling more than a gift basket. NTA, they're unhinged and delusional.
    via pnwwaterfallwoman
  • 19
    Ancient-Camel-8868 Honestly.... I think this being a hill you're willing to di on is a bit AHish. I'm not sure if you've ever actually been code to someone struggling with infertility, I mean really close to someone as in they talk to you and confide in you etc but what they're going through is fkn devastating! Yes, everyone knows it's sad, they get sad, it's just such a bummer......but in reality they're suffering a pain that most don't see. It's such a deep seated sadness. While you may thinks
    via Ancient-Camel-8868
  • 20
    frozenoj YTA not because you didn't get a gift but because of your general attitude. You don't seem to have much sympathy for your DIL and I'm sure that come across to her and that's why she reacted how she did.
    via frozenoj
  • 21
    MouseDangerous3750 Your son is the AH for not moderating better!
    via MouseDangerous3750
  • 22
    heepwah ESH. DIL for asking for basket. You for being so soul-ripping in your response w/no seeming compassion.
    via heepwah
  • 23
    Savings-Breath-9118 I don't get y ta's here. OP didn't brag about what she done, the daughter-in-law did group pictures and chat about the gifts they've received. Mother's Day is going to be hard for Jenny no matter what - and if she actually asked, where is my basket, it would seem very weird to me that the OP would then send her a basket of dog treats. I think acknowledging her hurt and how it might hurt to see others get gifts for their children would've gone a long way rather than arguing wi
    via Savings-Breath-9118
  • 24
    Longjumping_Mood9835 ESH. You say that she has infertility issues. Why would you not ask your son how she would react to a basket that makes the most sense to help cheer her up. There would be so many beautiful ways to show your DIL that you were thinking of her in a caring way. You actively chose not to think of a way to honor her because she doesn't have living human children. Now, if she was child free by choice, that would be different. I'm also of the opinion that getting someone other than
    via Longjumping_Mood9835

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aita mother grandma gift mothers day parenting argument family reddit thread Reddit mom
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