‘I just feel like I was robbed of a moment I worked hard for’: Golden child older brother proposes during 23-year-old sister's college graduation dinner, parents claim she's overreacting

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
May 16, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

The golden child is often just guilded—dipped in gold by others—so they appear to be as shiny as those who guilded them hope they are. It's unfortunate that such a thing occurs in a family dynamic, especially regarding children who wouldn't have been pitted against each other if it weren't for their parents. This type of favoritism harbors a resentment that cannot be undone, at least for the years to come, because the scorned child starts projecting their disdain not only onto their parents, but onto their siblings as well. Sometimes, though, that sibling deserves it. Such is the case in this next story.

After her graduation, a 23-year-old woman goes out to eat with her family. Unbeknownst to her, her brother will propose to his girlfriend at her celebratory grad dinner, and the rest of the day will be about her brother and not her. She explains that she rarely has moments of note to celebrate, so this stung. As a result, she calls out her brother. Scroll to read.

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  • Forget about the graduate for a moment—let's think about her brother. The fact that he felt comfortable enough to use her day as a way to propose to his girlfriend is messed up on so many levels. The expensive dinner? Covered by their parents. The family gathering? Only happening because of the graduation. Seems like a cheapskate, entitled mentality to me…

  • Cheezburger Image 10505772032
    via Curated Lifestyle For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "AITA for confronting my brother after he proposed at my graduation dinner, even though I asked him not to?"

    I (23F) recently graduated from university first in my family to do so and my parents panned a nice dinner at my favorite restaurant
    via oliviamonro
  • to celebrate. I've worked really hard balancing school, part-time jobs, and family responsibilities, so this was a big moment for me.
    via oliviamonro
  • A few days before the dinner, my older brother (27M) asked if he could propose to his girlfriend during the celebration. I was a bit surprised and told him I'd rather
    via oliviamonro
  • he didn't this was one of the rare times I actually got to be the center of attention and I really wanted the night to be about my achievement. He said he understood and wouldn't do it.
    via oliviamonro
  • Fast forward to the dinner everything's going well and right before dessert, he stands up, gives a speech and proposes. His
    via oliviamonro
  • girlfriend said yes, everyone clapped and suddenly the rest of the night was about them. People were congratulating them, taking photos and my graduation became an afterthought.
    via oliviamonro
  • Cheezburger Image 10505773056
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • The next day I told him I felt disrespected and he brushed it off, saying I was being dramatic and that it was a "happy
    via oliviamonro
  • moment" I should be glad to share. My parents think I'm overreacting and that I should be honored he chose my event to propose at.
    via oliviamonro
  • I just feel like I was robbed of a moment I worked hard for. AITA for still being upset about it?
    via oliviamonro
  • ATLBrysco NTA. Your brother wanted to create a spectacle for his engagement, but probably couldn't afford it on his own so he piggy-backed on a fancy, expensive dinner with the family around that someone else was footing the bill for.
    via ATLBrysco
  • Frankly, I find this kind of behavior disgusting - like telling everyone you're pregnant on someone else's birthday or anniversary party. But unfortunately OP, as you have found out - it happens.
    via ATLBrysco
  • I'm sorry OP - unfortunately, I really don't have any advice for you on remediating this other than just letting it go; the family will eventually as well. But don't let your brother's dumb-a spectacle diminish or ruin the true,
    via ATLBrysco
  • shining achievement of you graduating from University - that's the important, big moment - not a dinner where the spotlight went out. Congratulations!
    via ATLBrysco
  • Fioreborn NTA Your brother is cheap and tacky I'm petty enough that I'd drop comments to his fiancée 'How sad for you that he put no thought into your occasion and just rode on the tails of mine'
    via Fioreborn
  • 'Nice to know he listens to you because he doesn't to me ' 'I was reading this thing on Reddit about a guy who overtook someone else's party to propose, how tacky and selfish is that.'
    via Fioreborn
  • Is his fiancée aware that you didn't agree to it? Does she know that he hijacked your moment to make it all about him? Because I wouldn't say yes to someone like that. Edit to add Congratulations on your graduation!
    via Fioreborn
  • bbbriz NTA. I'd hire an actor as my plus one to their wedding and stage a proposal. To make things worse, I'd reject the proposal with a huge scene about it being an a h le move to propose at someone else's event.
    via bbbriz
  • Coinin19 NTA. You set a boundary; he violated it. Be sure to wear your graduation robe and mortar board to his wedding.
    via Coinin19

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family drama aita entitled parents entitlement drama AITAH reddit story family feud parenting family Reddit Parenting Fail parents entitled people Parenting FAILS
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