22-year-old college roommate constantly takes her friend’s car, snacks, and personal items, leading the friend to skip a promised early-morning airport drop-off, forcing her to almost miss her flight: ‘The first time I actually held her accountable’

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
May 16, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

Every college housing setup eventually yields one notorious character: the roommate who interprets shared space as an open invitation to treat anything that isn't bolted down as community property. 

Her favorite pastimes include raiding the fridge, siphoning off expensive shampoo, and taking sentimental hoodies for mysterious expeditions, all justified with an offhand laugh and a breezy apology. In her world, boundaries are just a rumor, and asking first is a quaint tradition best left to more uptight people.

But harmony crumbles when this same roommate shifts gears from snacking on someone else's granola bars to seizing their car for a spontaneous Target run, all in the name of retail urgency.

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  • After promising a quick return and causing a missed dinner date, the expectation is still deference and endless forgiveness. When the tables turn and an early-morning airport ride is on her wishlist, it’s simply assumed that a bleary-eyed chauffeur will materialize, no questions asked, despite the snack shelf now resembling a wildlife feeding station.

    The long-suffering roommate chooses sleep over servitude and allows a ride-share app to handle the morning chaos. 

  • "AITJ for leaving my roommate stranded after she kept using my stuff without asking?"

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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • But after years of disregarded boundaries and one-sided generosity, one has to understand that sometimes the only way to reclaim respect in the roommate economy is to let someone else experience a little inconvenience.

  • I (22F) live with my college roommate (22F too) and we've been friends since freshman year. We've lived together for 3 years and this is our last year before
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  • graduation. We've always had some issues with boundaries but I usually let things slide because we got along and I didn't wanna be dramatic.
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  • But lately she's been using my stuff without asking like my makeup, my food, my shampoo (which is not cheap btw), even my hoodie that my ex gave me and I'm weirdly sentimental about.
    via shirleyrezndc66
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    via Liza Summers

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • I've asked her multiple times to please just ask before using my stuff. She always says "oh sorry I forgot" or "it was just a little bit" and then laughs it off.
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  • The last straw was last weekend. She took my car without asking. I had left my keys on the counter because I was rushing to get
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  • ready for a date and apparently she just thought it was cool to "borrow" my car to go to Target with her friend. I was ped.
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  • When I called her she just said "I'll be back in 20 minutes chill." I missed my dinner reservation and it was super embarrassing having to cancel.
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    via AntonioGuillem

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • So yesterday, she asked if I could drive her to the airport early in the morning (like 6am). I said yes originally because I'm too nice and hate saying no. But after I
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  • woke up and saw that she'd once again eaten half my snacks (like I legit had one granola bar left), I got super annoyed.
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  • So I just... didn't take her. I turned my phone on silent and went back to sleep. She ended up Ubering and apparently almost missed her flight. She texted me
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  • later with "wow thanks for ditching me, real mature" and her friend DM'd me on Insta saying I'm a bad friend and should've at least warned her.
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  • I don't feel bad honestly. I feel like I've let her cross my boundaries so many times and she never takes me seriously. This
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  • was the only time I actually held her accountable and now everyone's mad at me.
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  • Some of my friends think I should've just driven her and had a talk after. Others said she needed to learn and it was fair. I don't know. Was that too petty?
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  • TL;DR: My roommate kept using my stuff without asking, including my car so I bailed on giving her a ride to the airport even though I said I would. She's mad and I feel kinda bad, but also not really. AITJ?
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  • PotatoMonster20 NTJ She's stealing from you. Keep your shampoo and dry groceries in your room, behind a locked door if possible.
    via PotatoMonster20
  • Get a fridge lock box if you can. Never leave your car keys alone around her again. If she manages to steal your car again anyway, call the police.
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  • kiwimuz You should have reported your car stolen as soon as you noticed it was missing. Your roommate is a thief.
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  • Megatron51392 NTJ, should've told her the reasons for not taking her. Stop being a j to yourself and be firm with your boundaries.
    via Megatron51392
  • SmartFX2001 NTJ. She's lucky you didn't report the car stolen. In the future do not leave your keys where your roommate has access to them.
    via SmartFX2001

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Tags

friendship bad friend living with friends best friends friends public school 20-year-old private school friend mean girls housemate renting roommates apartment
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