Grandma protests after daughter-in-law forbids 13-year-old daughter from visiting her following ice skating injury: 'She's the only one who takes her skating seriously'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
May 15, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

It is all too common for people to live vicariously through their kids. Whether they push them to excel in academics, want to see them become a star on stage, or are really into sport, there is a whole category of parents and other close relatives out there who use the children in their lives as a means to live out the dreams that they couldn't realize themselves.

As most of us know, this has plenty of potential to end badly. It is easy for feelings on every side to get hurt, although naturally, the most important factor is the child's well-being. When that gets jeopardized is when things get serious, and if they have other responsible adults in their life, it is essential that they take a stand to defend them. This can sometimes make a situation worse before it gets better, even though it is a necessary thing to do. 

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  • 01

    AITA for saying my daughter can't go to her grandma's house until she apologizes for getting her hurt?

    I (39f) have a daughter (13) who has been has been skating since she was 6 and is doing it competitively. She trains multiple times a week, works with two coaches, and has a full off-ice workout program that's all designed and cleared by professionals. we've always tried to be really careful about keeping her healthy, mentally and physically and not pushing her into things too soon.
    via skatemomthrow
  • 02
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • One mom felt the pressure of this after she forbade her teenage daughter from visiting her grandmother. Her reasoning was that she had injured herself practicing ice skating moves on her concrete patio because her grandma had been pushing her to train.

    The grandmother disagreed with this. As a former ice skater, she wanted to see her granddaughter succeed in her sport, but the mom did not want her safety to be jeopardized. The family was in disagreement about this, and she wanted to know that her decision was the right one.

  • 03
    My MIL (mid 50s) used to skate when she was younger, but she had to stop when her family ran into major financial issues. She's always been really into my daughter's skating, which was sweet at first. She'd show up to events, talk about how proud she was, etc. but lately it's started to feel like more than just support. She's constantly sending clips of other girls doing harder stuff and making these comments like "you can't let her fall behind" or "coaches these days coddle kids."
    via skatemomthrow
  • 04
    Last weekend, my daughter had a sleepover at MIL's, something we've done before. But when I picked her up Sunday, she was limping a little and acting quiet. I asked what happened, and MIL casually told me she'd landed weird doing some jump drills. Apparently MIL had her outside on their concrete patio trying to work on jumps she hasn't even started in her lessons yet My daughter said that she didn't feel ready, but MIL told her if she wants to make it, she has to push through the fear. I was pis
    via skatemomthrow
  • 05
    I went back later to grab her things and told MIL this crossed a line. She isn't her coach so she doesn't get to make these decisions. and the way she brushed it off just made me angrier, saying I was overreacting, that injuries happen, and that I'm holding my daughter back by being too careful. Then my SIL (early 20s, still lives with MIL) jumped in and said I'm being dramatic and trying to cut MIL out of her life when she's the only one who "takes her skating seriously." I didn't even know wha
    via skatemomthrow
  • 06
    She got hurt, and even more than that, she was pressured into doing something she knew she wasn't ready for. I don't think that's something I can just overlook. My husband agrees it was out of line, but i can tell he's weird about how hard I'm drawing the line on this. He keeps suggesting that maybe I could've been more gentle or we should've tried to "talk it out" or that MIL maybe didn't realize how serious this was. I think he just doesn't want to deal with the fallout. Now MIL's acting like
    via skatemomthrow
  • 07
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 08

    Commenters supported the mom's decision.

    LauraLand27 Sprains usually take longer to heal than a fractured bone. Your daughter could have been seriously hurt and never been able to skate again. Your MIL is living vicariously through your daughter. That's nice, until she forced your daughter to do something dangerous. I'm enraged for you. Any chance one of her coaches would mind calling MIL and explain why what she did was wrong? Maybe that'll humble her, put her in her place, and get her to apologize. I'd go LC (even NC) until MIL reali
    via LauraLand27
  • 09
    bravoinvestigator Exactly this! My sprain took 1 year to heal and even then it didn't heal completely
    via bravoinvestigator
  • 10
    No_Manufacturer_3120 I would say NTA! The lady doesn't have the right to hurt OP's child, make them uncomfortable, and especially not shrugging off the injury either. That obviously shows she did NOT care about hurting her if it meant MIL got to push for her dream. I'd say F it and go NC. She did it once. No telling she won't shrug it off once the heat cools down and do it again. Edit: I will say I'm personally weirded out the husband still thought the boundary was too hard. That's your daughter
    via No_Manufacturer_3120
  • 11
    Street-Instruction60 I was in track and field at the age of 12. One meet, I was in a jump-off for high jump. I placed a foot wrong in my approach and wound up with my left foot going over first (no Fosbury Flop in those days). My left ankle was diagnosed as "sprained", which meant in this case that I had torn the ligaments. I couldn't even have a cast until the swelling went down, which took days. That was the official end of my track wins. I never competed again. My point? There is no such thin
    via Street-Instruction60
  • 12
    3kids_nomoney NTA - I'd cut them off for the not "taking her skating seriously" comment. Grandmas actions could've put that kid out and no longer be able to skate ever again. So either back off the skating "training" completely or lose contact with you and daughter completely? Just ignore sil, she's not valid in any of this.
    via 3kids_nomoney
  • 13
    Basilsbreakdown Thank god your daughter has you and not just a doormat dad who'd let her get injured to soothe his mothers ego. Have your daughters coaches talk to your husband (MIL doesn't respect them anyways) and if he still can't straighten his back in front of mommy have supervised visits at your house only. And teach your daughter that she can ALWAYS say no. Now is a really good time to teach her that.
    via Basilsbreakdown
  • 14
    Purring Vixen Your primary job is to ensure your child's safety. Your MIL overstepped and disregarded your daughter's comfort zone, causing her injury. Boundaries exist for a reason and should be respected.
    via PurringVixen
  • 15
    cloven-55 I would say no unsupervised contact.
    via cloven-55
  • 16
    SuperCulture9114 AFTER an honest apology!
    via SuperCulture9114
  • 17
    SneakyKillz The way MIL is pushing sounds like it could completely kill the motivation/passion your daughter has for skateboarding.
    via SneakyKillz
  • 18
    Jayie TheHufflepuff This is about figure skating, ice skating, not skateboarding, which makes the practicing jumps on concrete that she hasn't even tried on ice even worse
    via JayieTheHufflepuff
  • 19
    Ok_Resource_8530 Ask your husband what he is going to do when his mother and sister put her in the hospital. Or if she has 'an accident' that permenatly keeps her from skating or even walking. Maybe MIL& SIL need to watch some films of skaters having accidents so they can see what can happen. If MIL wants your daughter to come see her, I would tell her she doesn't want to come because she is now afraid of her. Be sure to tell your daughter she doesn't have to go there. And if she does, she needs
    via Ok_Resource_8530
  • 20
    Infinite-Horse-1313 NTA as someone who played soccer competitively until my freshman year of college (think going places) and lost the ability to play from recurrent sprains gone wrong family like your MIL kills more careers than the actual sport does. Keep that boundary OP, your daughter will thank you when her body isn't trashed at 40 from overdoing it at 15.
    via Infinite-Horse-1313
  • 21
    Squibit314 NTA How would MIL feel if it was an injury that ended her skating? Your MIL is living a life she didn't have through your daughter.
    via Squibit314
  • 22
    celticmusebooks NTA and your husband needs to "man up" here and be a FATHER and not "mommy's good little man". It was VERY fortunate that your daughter just suffered a sprain and not a more serious injury. He's "selling" his mom's behavior as a "mistake"-- BUT when adults make a mistake, particularly when it causes a child to be injured, they make a GENUINE apology. At this point in time, since your MIL doesn't own that her fixation with your daughter caused her actual harm, she is not a safe pe
    via celticmusebooks
  • 23
    When granny sends you videos respond-- "I didn't watch this. I'm sure you meant well, but we're only interested in what her coaches suggest." How can you be "gentle" or "talk it out" with someone who caused your daughter physical harm and doesn't feel a need to apologize.
    via celticmusebooks
  • 24
    Can-GingerGirl Your husband needs to grow a spine, support you and your daughter and bloody well stand up to his mommy. NTA but your husband is a wuss who's not advocating for his daughter because mommy might get her fee fees hurt.
    via Can_GingerGirl
  • 25
    betterbetterthings I would allow MIL around supervised only. Come over to your house and see DD there in your presence. That's the only way. No unsupervised visits. Now kids get hurt when with grandparents or with anyone and accidents happen. But MIL encouraged a dangerous activity of doing jumps on a concrete patio! It wasn't an accident. It was MIL endangering DD. Who does jumps on concrete! Now if MIL makes promises that she'll never do anything like that, you could maybe reconsider. But not
    via betterbetterthings
  • 26
    Jelly That6998 NTA, some old woman interfered with your rules regarding your child and now she is injured.
    via JellyThat6998

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family drama daughter in law aita figure skating ice skating argument mother in law family reddit thread daughter Reddit mom skating
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