Entitled brother-in-law expects to stay expense-free in husband and wife's Honolulu home indefinitely, wife demands he pay $150/week moving forward: ‘That's way less than what it's costing us’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
May 18, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

In-laws tend to think they're untouchable when it comes to their biological family member's partner. They seem to think they can treat you however they see fit, use you for all you have, then spit you out when they're done with you. There are some spouses who can't take the heat, sure—but most spouses refuse to be walked all over like they're dirt on their in-laws' shoes. They picked the wrong one, buddy.

We all need to recharge once in a while—and it sure helps when you have a brother and sister-in-law who own a home in Honolulu, HI. You can stay there for a weekend, get your head settled, and fly back after a few days feeling refreshed. Know when it's your time to leave, though—or at the very least, contribute to the bills if you plan on staying a while. In this next story, a woman's brother-in-law tries to take advantage of her and her husband's hospitality, so she ends up giving him a $150/week ultimatum to tie up their loose financial ends. Let's just say her husband's family was not happy about this…

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  • Anyone who feels like they can stay in a relatives place expense-free without helping around the house is entitled in my book. We write about entitled people on this website every day, and I'm still surprised every time I see a family member expect an army when they can't even spare a soldier…

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  • "AITAH for charging my brother-in-law a “guest fee” after he extended his vacation at our house in Honolulu?"

    I feel ridiculous coming to the internet with this, but I need some outside opinions. My husband (34M) and I (32F) live in Honolulu with our 3 y/o daughter.
    via Informal_Plantain_58
  • We both work full time and live pretty modestly-people assume we're loaded because we're in Hawaii but honestly, everything here is insanely expensive and we budget everything pretty tightly.
    via Informal_Plantain_58
  • My BIL (30M) asked if he could come visit for a "quick getaway" to escape winter on the mainland. We said sure, thinking it'd be like
    via Informal_Plantain_58
  • 4-5 days tops. He shows up with two giant suitcases, no return flight booked, and says he's staying "until he feels recharged." That was THREE weeks ago.
    via Informal_Plantain_58
  • Since then he hasn't offered to pay for anything-not groceries, not utilities, not even gas when he uses our car (??). He spends the whole day lounging on our
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  • lanai, leaves towels all over the place, eats all our food (and complains when we make anything "too healthy"), and takes super long showers like we're not on a water bill here.
    via Informal_Plantain_58
  • Cheezburger Image 10506247936
    via Kübra Arslaner For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • I hinted (nicely) a few times that he should pitch in, but he just laughs and says "Don't worry, I'll get the next one"-whatever that means. I talked with my husband
    via Informal_Plantain_58
  • about it, and we came to the conclusion that he absolutely has to contribute if he wants to stay with us. We sat him down (I led the conversation because I
    via Informal_Plantain_58
  • mainly handle the budget for our household) and said if he wants to stay past this week, he needs to contribute like $150/week just
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  • to help with food and utilities. Honestly that's way less than what it's costing us but I was trying to be cool about it.
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  • He got super offended and was like "Wow, charging family to stay with you?? In paradise?? That's messed up." He stormed out and
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  • now his mom (my MIL) is texting my husband about how I'm. "ruining the aloha spirit" and treating him like a burden (which he is absolutely being!!)
    via Informal_Plantain_58
  • I don't think I'm being unreasonable, but now the whole family is acting like I kicked him out onto the street. I even offered to help cover the cost of a flight home if that's what's keeping him here, but (afaik) he's not broke.
    via Informal_Plantain_58
  • AITA for being upset that he's 'recharging' at such great expense to us and asking that he pay his fair share??
    via Informal_Plantain_58
  • Cybermagetx Nta. But i would of just kicked him out. Make sure he doesnt gain residence there where you have to envict him if that is a thing there.
    via Cybermagetx
  • ImAnNPCsoWhat He's being the worst house guest ever. Do kick him out. IDC if he decides to actually pay what he's draining from you with back pay. He needs to leave yesterday. And your MIL can take him if she cares so much.
    via ImAnNPCsoWhat
  • joshujibestie NTA, who takes 3 weeks to feel "recharged" especially he is clearly over staying. He needs to atleast contribute a little. If it were me, I would feel so responsible to at least help around house or contribute. Is he doing none? Does he help around house? You guys need to have an emergency family meeting and discuss the situation. He should either contribute or at least help around house.
    via joshujibestie
  • Ok_Childhood_9774 This is not a guest. This is a wanna be tenant, and he needs to go NOW, no matter what his mommy thinks. Don't give him the option of 'pay to stay' because $150 a week to live in Hawaii is a fabulous deal, and he knows it.
    via Ok_Childhood_9774

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family dynamics family drama entitlement reddit story family feud entitled people karma in laws entitled family reddit thread Reddit brother in law entitled people vacation
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