Bride refuses to let her fiancé give his 26-year-old sister $10k for the sister's wedding out of their own wedding budget that they saved for 5 years: 'I’m not about to let him throw $10k at someone'

Author image for Brad Dickson
Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Jul 14, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

Giving your hard-earned cash to someone out of your own pocket is a hard ask, especially when it's the cash you've been saving for something you've been dreaming of for your entire life. At that point, you're not just giving them money, you're giving them your dream, or at least a part of it. It's not just about generosity, but it's about the culmination of your competing values and expectations. While generosity is important, and we should be there to support our family members when they need it, it's essential to carefully consider whether you're actually able to part with whatever you're offering. Even if you're lending money to someone, you need to be prepared to never see it again. 

Whereas this couple saved for their wedding for a full five years of carefully managing their spending, this bride shares how her fiancé's sister spontaneously decided to get married. Despite having no money saved of her own, this was no obstacle for her; she had a simple solution to the problem: Get her family to "pitch in" and "loan" her money to make her dream a reality with no sweat off her back. This, of course, was convenient for her but did nothing but sow discord within the family and those who were being forced to bear the cost of her decisions.

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  • 01

    "AITAH for refusing to let my fiancé give his sister $10k for her wedding?"

    I'm (29F) getting married this fall to my fiancé Mark (30M). We've been together for 5 years and we've spent the last two saving like crazy to pay for our wedding ourselves. It's not over the top or anything but it's important to us and we've worked really hard to make it happen without going into debt.
    via YingDomo04
  • 02
    Mark's younger sister Jenna (26F) just got engaged about a month ago. She's already planning her wedding for early next year and somehow already booked a venue. The problem is that she has absolutely no money saved. None. She lives like she's in a Hallmark movie. Constant brunches, weekend trips, influencer content creation full time (which is... hit or miss at best), and just generally acts like everything will magically work out.
    via YingDomo04
  • 03
    Now she's asking our families to "pitch in" so she doesn't have to cancel anything. And by pitch in, I mean she asked Mark to "loan" her $10,000. She literally said, "you guys are already paying for your own wedding, what's the difference?"
    via YingDomo04
  • 04
    Here's where I might be the ah le. I told Mark no. Like, hard no. We saved for our wedding. We made sacrifices. We held off on things we wanted to make sure we stayed within budget. I'm not about to let him throw $10k at someone who just assumes someone else will clean up after her.
    via YingDomo04
  • 05
    And I love Mark, but he's kind of a pushover when it comes to his family. Especially Jenna. She's always been dramatic and impulsive and he's always tried to be the one to "rescue" her. When I said no, she turned on me immediately. Said I was "trying to come between them" and "making him choose" and "acting like she's not family." She even texted me some passive aggressive crop. about how some people are just "too materialistic to understand love." Ok.
    via YingDomo04
  • 06
    She's been blowing up the family group chat, trying to guilt him into it. Their parents are "neutral" but I know they're hoping we cave. His mom even called him and said, "it's just money, you'll make more." Now Mark keeps bringing it up again like maybe we could give her a smaller amount. $2k, maybe $3k, "as a gesture." I said no. I don't care if it's $500. This is a pattern and I'm not playing along.
    via YingDomo04
  • 07
    And now I'm the bad guy. I'm the one "blocking" the family from coming together. But I'm also the one who's supposed to marry this man, share finances, and build a future. And I really don't want to start that off by bailing out someone who hasn't even tried to help herself. Still, I keep wondering if I'm being too cold. I get that it's her wedding and yeah, weddings are emotional. But so is ours. And we're not asking anyone for a dime.
    via YingDomo04
  • 08
    So... AITAH for saying absolutely not to funding his sister's wedding?
    via YingDomo04
  • 09
    SadFlatworm1436 10h ago • Mom says it's just money? Let mom hand over 10k !! NTA setting those boundaries early is really important for your future marriage.
    via YingDomo04
  • 10
    Barbola369 · 10h ago Clear NTA! This would be a deal breaker for me - I'm all for helping family in emergencies. If Jenna needed medical treatment or was stranded somewhere or something, maybe I'd be more inclined to help - but booking a wedding when you don't have the funds to do so doesn't count, and asking you to compromise your own savings and sacrifices because she can't be assed to work harder or save up is seriously entitled.
    via YingDomo04
  • 11
    If my fiancé didn't have my back on this and allowed his family to buy and guilt trip. me for saying no, I'd be saying no to marrying him.
    via YingDomo04
  • 12
    Ok_Distribution_2... • 10h ago You should not have to work this hard to convince your future husband where his obligations really lie. NTA but this is quite a concerning sign for your shared future.
    via YingDomo04
  • 13
    • sbg-sbg 10h ago NTA but you have a future husband problem. You might want to try to get him to do some individual and/or couple counseling cause even if you manage to hold the line here, sista is going to keep popping up in the same way. Next time she will be preggo and needs help buying a house/rent/whatever.
    via YingDomo04
  • 14
    Commercial_Ear_3... 10h ago So quick question.. is this expected to come out of your wedding fund? Then you are expected to not have everything you want but she gets what she wants.. despite it being you guys that saved.. hard no from me!
    via YingDomo04
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    Cheezburger Image 10527377152
    via NIKITA SHIROKOV

    The image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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