16-year-old refuses to be free babysitter to his stepsiblings after mom’s remarriage, he goes to live with his dad instead: “You’re being selfish and hurting your 4 siblings”

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
May 19, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

Hey there ladies and gentlemen of the internet. Teenage years are often described as the "best years of our lives," by American comedies, and other ridiculous cult classics where red plastic cups are just as much of a character as the named people in the room. In reality, teenage years are often fraught with overbearing or neglectful parents, confusing physical and emotional changes, and dubious competition with other classmates for intellect, approval, or looks. High school isn't what it is in the movies, and everyone who's lived through it can vouch for its instability and awkwardness. 

When you're a teenager, you're also at the mercy of your parents, and have no real self-autonomy. They provide everything for you, so you have to follow at least one of their rules, if not both of them. If you have divorced parents, then hopefully there's one of them that you get along with, because if not then it could be the worst years of your life while you're fighting for that legality to move out and create your own life. 

In the story below, the narrator is a teenage boy who goes off to live with his father after his mother's home life isn't to his liking. 

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  • 01

    AITA for deciding to live with my dad full time because I don't want to help with a bunch of kids at my mom's house?

    Cheezburger Image 10506798848
    via bobbieo from Getty Images Signature / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    My parents got divorced when my older sister 8 years ago. I (16m) struggled with it because. one day my sister was gone and then so was my family. Mom moved out and she and my dad fought. Mom wanted me with her. Dad felt I should spend time with
    via u/Top-Type1839

  • This mother can't reasonably expect her teenage son to pick himself up by his bootstraps and be the role model and big brother to some random children he basically has no association with is just ridiculous. He's a teenager, and he doesn't want to have anything to do with his stepsiblings. 

  • 03
    both. When they went to court my parents were given the same custody time with me and I've always had a week with each of them at a time.
    via u/Top-Type1839
  • 04
    5 years ago my mom remarried. Tom's the guy she married and Tom had two kids under 4 when they met. Him and my mom had two more kids together. It was pretty chaotic and my mom and Tom pushed for me to be a helper with the kids and to choose to be their big brother. Mom told me to take
    via u/Top-Type1839
  • 05
    Cheezburger Image 10506798592
    via Monstera Production from Pexels / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 06
    care of them like my sister took care of me. And she was always correcting me for saying half sibling or stepsibling. We had lots of fights about it. I love my mom a lot. But I think we had different ways of coping with my sister's death. She wanted to move forward with Tom and the kids being our
    via u/Top-Type1839
  • 07
    family the same as dad and my sister were. She hated that I didn't call Tom dad. And she hated when I'd go for dad's parenting time. She tried to get sole custody a few times. I couldn't ever see my stepfamily the same. They could never take that same place for me. I
    via u/Top-Type1839
  • 08
    was never going to call someone else dad either or stop being dad's kids because she wanted me to pretend with Tom.
    via u/Top-Type1839
  • 09
    I think I never got beyond accepting that they were there and tolerating the fact that mom's. family had moved on and that I had half and stepsiblings. I never really bonded with them. But I was kind and I didn't take my issues out on them.
    via u/Top-Type1839
  • 10
    Tom's ex d d in February and my mom and Tom decided to take in her other kids, who are similar ages to my half siblings. Because of all the changes it meant I was supposed to share with three other kids. My mom wanted me to really step up and help and be a good older brother and role model. She
    via u/Top-Type1839
  • 11
    said the new boy would need me the most and I'd need to take him under my wing. My mom and Tom told me I'd need to help out with the kids more too. Like walk some to school, help with homework, walk them to after school clubs and stuff like that. I was also supposed to babysit because a babysitter would be out of their budget.
    via u/Top-Type1839
  • 12
    Cheezburger Image 10506799104
    via Pavel Danilyuk from Pexels / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 13
    It was all way more than I wanted to do so I asked dad if I could live with him and he said yes. My dad's lawyer said it was fine because the court order already covered me getting to choose once I was 16 and how calls would be all that would be needed to not risk custody going to mom if she fought it through the courts.
    via u/Top-Type1839
  • 14
    So I call my mom and accept calls from mom twice a week. She's always so angry when we talk. She told me she was disappointed in me repeatedly and wanted to have a good reason why I was refusing to spend any time at her house. I told her I didn't want to help with all those kids. Mom corrected me
    via u/Top-Type1839
  • 15
    and said my siblings and I told her no. Not my siblings. I told her we'd argued before about that and I didn't want to. She told me we argue because I won't let go and accept that my family has changed and she told me now I was being extra selfish and hurting the four siblings I always had and refusing to even try and be there for the
    via u/Top-Type1839
  • 16
    three new ones. She told me family comes together at times like these and I ran away. She told me if she I could love them all and move on from my sister's death then so could l. It pred me off and I ended the call and I redirect any conversation now to talk about other stuff. But my mom still makes it clear she doesn't like that I went
    via u/Top-Type1839
  • 17
    from living with dad two weeks a month to four weeks a month and she only gets calls and no visits and the kids will grow up hardly knowing me. AITA?
    via u/Top-Type1839
  • 18
    Glittering_Focus_295 • 12h ago Your mother was parentifying you. You are a minor. You are not responsible for raising any of her children or stepchildren or step-children's half- siblings.
    via u/Glittering_Focus_295
  • 19
    NTA. Live your own life. I'm sorry about the loss of your sister.
    via u/Glittering_Focus_295
  • 20
    Turbulent_Effective9 • 11h ago NTA Jesus, stay the I. away from them
    via u/Turbulent_Effective9
  • 21
    Ok_Childhood_9774 • 12h ago NTA, and it sounds like your mom thought she could push past her grief by creating a new family without putting any thought into what you might want or need. You are under no obligation to take on care or responsibility for
    via u/Ok_Childhood_9774
  • 22
    her new crew, and she's simply going to have to accept that. If she brings up the subject during your calls, end the conversation immediately and tell her you'll try again next time. She'll either get the message or the calls will end. I'm so sorry about your sister.
    via u/Ok_Childhood_9774

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