24-year-old woman gets promotion, doubling salary, 27-year-old boyfriend lashes out in public due to jealousy: '[I won't] downplay my success to make my boyfriend feel better about himself

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
May 20, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

In a truly healthy relationship, differences in salaries shouldn't cause major conflict, yet far more partners than one may think can wind up feeling intimidated or even threatened by these pay disparities. Of course, in theory, we all hope that our partners get paid what they deserve. We hope that we're mature and supportive enough to celebrate their wins at work, especially when it comes to well-deserved promotions. However, in practice, ego can get in the way of what should be unconditional support and even jeopardize the strength of the healthiest of couples.

In this instance, we have a young professional who was up for a promotion that would double her salary and far exceed that of her boyfriend. When she got the promotion, she didn't necessarily get the support she was expecting from her so-called other half. Instead, he found ways to repeatedly undermine her accomplishments and undercut her success in public. Keep scrolling below for the fallout of these awkward encounters!

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    Cheezburger Image 10507723264
    via Unsplash+ (Lia Bekyan)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • The worst part of this story is the fact that other people, particularly the author's potential future mother-in-law, came out in support of the boyfriend simply because he felt emasculated by his partner's promotion. First of all, it sounds like they are in very different lines of work. Second of all, unless they were up for the exact same promotion, he shouldn't feel hurt by his partner's success. Finally, if he were a decent guy, he would know that her successes are beneficial for both of them and vice versa! 

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    I (24F) have been dating my bf (27M) for almost 2 years. Everything was great until 3 months ago when I got a promotion
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    that basically doubled my salary. I'm now making way more than him, and I can tell it's been bothering him.
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    Last week, we were at dinner with his college buddies and their gfs. Someone asked about my new job, and I was excitedly explaining it.
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    when my bf interrupted with "yeah she's making bank now, but I'll catch up soon, don't worry." Everyone laughed awkwardly.
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    Later that night, I confronted him about constantly bringing up how he'll "catch up"
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    whenever my salary comes up. He admitted he feels emasculated that I make more than him,
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    and asked if I could "tone down" talking about my job around his friends.
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    I was stunned. I told him his insecurity wasn't my problem to manage and that I wasn't going to pretend to be less
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    successful to protect his ego. He said I was being inconsiderate of his feelings and that "most women" would understand.
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    Cheezburger Image 10507723520
    via Unsplash+ (Lia Bekyan)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    Yesterday, we were invited to his parents' house for dinner. His mom asked about my promotion, and before I could answer, my bf
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    jumped in saying "it's just temporary until she can find something less demanding so we can start thinking about our future."
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    I literally spit out my drink and said "that's news to me" right there at the table. I then told his parents I had no plans to
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    leave my dream job and that their son seemed to have an issue with my success.
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    The dinner got super awkward. Now he's blowing up my phone saying I humiliated him
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    and that I should've waited to have that convo in private. His mom texted me saying I was harsh and that "men need to feel like providers."
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    AITA for refusing to downplay my success to make my boyfriend feel better about himself?
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    • Prestigiou... 3h ago NTA. Congratulations on your promotion girl!
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    Fun-Resp... . 3h ago NTA. You were defending yourself. Also, I don't get why he feels emasculated that his girlfriend earns more than him. But that's something HE needs to work on
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Dating-Relationships boyfriend salary promotion aita AITAH relationships entitled people karma dating entitled people
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