Businesswoman refuses to purchase boyfriend's daughter a souvenir from Japan after she fails to respond to her texts, boyfriend and daughter vilify woman for not bringing them on the trip with her: ‘She completely blanked me out’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
May 23, 2025 9:00 PM EDT

It's always best to keep your work life and personal life separate. You never know if someone is solely with you because they can benefit from your income, work perks, and traveling—and this is more common than you'd think. In a world where women aren't expected to be the breadwinners, potential partners might be either intimidated by a working woman's financial power or ready to mooch off of it as soon as they can get their hands on it. Neither choice is a win, obviously, so it's important as a woman to really know who they're dating and why they want to date her.

In this next story, a woman refuses to bring her boyfriend's daughter a stuffed animal from her business trip to Japan. She didn't do so out of malice; The woman's boyfriend and daughter expected the woman to take them with her on her work trip, and the woman refused because that would be both expensive and reek of unprofessionalism. As a result, her boyfriend's daughter refuses to answer any of her texts while she's abroad. Well, with that attitude, she'll get nothing at all. Scroll to read the entire story below.

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    "He said I let his daughter down by allowing her to think she was getting the plush toy and was also in disbelief when I confirmed that I didn't bring her anything."
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    "AITA for refusing to buy my boyfriend's daughter a gift and silencing his notifications while I was away on a business trip?"

    Apologies in advance for the long post. I (F32) went on a 8 day business trip to Japan. I work as an external consultant for a company. This would be a visit to scale our services. Me and 3 other colleagues would visit, but
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    we would be at the same site for only 2 days until we were spread out to other areas. was very excited until I told my boyfriend (Bryan M38) of 8 months.
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    His reaction wasn't very positive. I asked what was going on, and he said he was spaced out because of situations at his job, but he assured me everything
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    was fine. Days later, he asked if I could take him. This caught me off guard, and I said I needed to think about it, and then he said he would want his daughter to
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    come along. I understand his point. She's 17F, loves anime and has impressive knowledge on some very niche characters.But also, I have my own kids (ages 4
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    and 5) and I would rather share that breakthrough with them although realistically talking, bringing them would be unprofessional.
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    My accommodations were paid for by the client and that I had already confirmed. I got a very nice accommodation but it was definitely booked for a single
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    traveler. My colleagues had other rooms. Bringing his daughter would require a separate bedroom or a suite. I would not go back to cancel on the
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    accommodation or ask for a larger space (unthinkable) or do anything to mess up the schedule. When I told Bryan, he said I should be able to ask for some changes. I also realized
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    that he wasn't ready to pay for any of this since he said he would reimburse me later. I'm financially okay, but the whole idea of this trip is to make more money, not
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    spend it, and potentially be unable to recover it. Also, this was never a vacation or anything, and he said things that showed me he didn't understand/believe
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    that me and my team and I were on a tight schedule. I could surely spend time with him and his daughter after work but while bringing them at another time and not in that situation. I didn't ask the client at all because I was embarrassed.
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    Also, I began to worry about his sense of humor. It's not like I've mastered Japanese business etiquette, but I took the time to learn, and Bryan sometimes does things that get him in trouble. We
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    would be having dinner with our client and colleagues and I could either have him stay at the hotel (not a great way to treat a partner, or bring him along if that was permitted (awkward
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    especially if it messed up the accommodation schedule). When I candidly expressed this concern, he got extremely ped off and gave me the silent treatment. This stressed me out, and I told him. I left for the airport while he was still not talking to me.
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    We talked only a few times while I was abroad. His daughter did not reply to any of my messages. I don't know if he falsely told her that she was getting an early high
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    school graduation present (trip) or if she was just mad at me. I got a hold of a huge plush anime character and took a selfie asking if she liked it. No answer.
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    トトロ thx Y64000
    via Hoyoun Lee for Unsplash

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    About one or 2 days before I flew back, he started texting me with requests. He wanted me to get xyz, this and that, for his daughter and his nieces. I got
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    very angry because she didn't even reply, but he had no problem asking for more and more stuff, and that put me off. I told him that his daughter never
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    replied to any of my messages, and he didn't say anything about it. I ended up silencing his notifications and buying presents only for my family.
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    When I got back, all I wanted was to spend time with my kids since I've never been away from them. I kept putting off seeing Bryan until last Friday when we met for pizza, and he looked
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    uncomfortable. He said I let his daughter down by allowing her to think she was getting the plush toy and was also in disbelief when I confirmed that I didn't bring her anything. I told him that
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    I didn't think it mattered since she completely blanked me out. We had a back and forth, but there was no resolution. I feel more lost than when this whole thing started. I feel like he thinks a gift for his daughter was the solution to everything, and I disagree.
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    I'm doing my best to create a good future, and I'm a bit on the fence about continuing the relationship. I care about him and his kid, but I'm afraid of being used/dragged down, and the way
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    he pressured me made me really uncomfortable. I'm also a bit hurt because I had built a relationship with his daughter, and not getting a single reply to my messages is honestly a bad look. I'me
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    tempted to think that she's either angry because I didn't agree to bringing them along or that maybe he told her to ignore me. I'm planning on ending things because I need clarity, but also, maybe I'm being unfair. I think there's the possibility that he got overly excited and got carried away, but I know he will likely be unable to pay me back. AITA?
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    Update: Thanks to everyone for their advice and input. I just wanted to clarify about the plush toy incident. His daughter and I used to spend time together (some afternoons after school while he dar was at work). I did give her spontaneous gifts that she enjoyed. We would email and
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    text each other during her time with her mom (joint custody). When I sent the toy picture, I wanted to know if it was up her alley. I would have bought it if she said she liked it but got the silent treatment instead. I know some
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    of you think I was wrong for not bringing her anything but part of my decision to leave him comes from feeling like they acted like an exclusive clique where others can't be accepted unless they give to them. She left me on seen, and left me asking "hello?" like an idiot.
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    We broke up last night. He wanted to come to my place, but I didn't allow it. I drove to his place instead and delivered 2 packages that had been delivered at my PO Box and told him that I would return any mail
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    or package address to him from now on. I didn't get off my vehicle. The conversation was very short but very sour. I told him that he acted too greedy and conceited for me to feel any interest in prolonging the relationship. He tried to explain
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    that his daughter was hurt because she had her hopes set on the trip but I said this was a lesson for her so that she learns to work for her own things when she becomes an adult, instead of piggy backing her way. And also, that this is on him, as a father. I took off to avoid more back and forth.
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    I asked him never to contact me again and blocked them both. I already changed my locks, changed all my streaming passwords, etc.
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    lady-scorpio-45 His demands were insane. Cut your losses and don't feel even a bit guilty.
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Tags

relationship advice relationship entitled parents drama Professional At Work work relationship-drama reddit story relationships Japan entitled trip reddit thread Reddit business toxic relationship relationship drama entitled people vacation
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