'Parents have to teach kids boundaries': Woman hosts sister and 3 kids after messy divorce, tries to enforce child-free living room but kicks them out after they ruin couch and wreck Lego display

Advertisement
  • "AITA for Refusing to Let My Sister’s Kids Use My “Child-Free” Living Room?"

    So, I (32F) live in a house that I specifically renovated to be child- free. Not because I hate kids-I just value my peace, clean space, and adult aesthetics. Think
  • Advertisement
  • white couches, glass tables, vintage vinyl collection, and a MASSIVE Lego Star Wars display that took me two years to build. My younger sister (29F) has three kids (ages 4, 6,
  • and 9) and recently had to move back to our hometown after a rough divorce. I offered to let her stay with me for a couple of weeks until she could find a rental, under ONE very clear rule: the
  • kids stay out of my living room. I even set up the finished basement like a kid paradise-TV, bean bags, snacks, and a whole bin of toys I bought just for them. But within 3 days,
  • Advertisement
  • Cheezburger Image 10509290752
  • the 6-year-old had pulled apart part of my Lego Death Star "to see inside," and the youngest had smeared peanut butter on my couch. I freaked out―not yelling, but firmly told my sister
  • Cheezburger Image 10509291520
  • Advertisement
  • this wasn't working, and she needed to watch them better or start looking for other accommodations sooner. She got upset and said I was "valuing furniture over family." I said I was
  • valuing boundaries and that this was why I made it very clear from the start. Now my mom's calling me cold and says I should be more understanding because "kids don't
  • understand boundaries." I say that's exactly why parents are supposed to enforce them. So... AITA for enforcing my child-free living room and not wanting my sister's kids messing up my space?
  • Advertisement
  • Justaredditor85 NTA. Sounds like your mom is volunteering her home.
  • PurpleBeast27 If she's unable to watch her kids (who are old enough to understand this one rule) then they need. to find their own place!
  • Pleasant Birthday_77 NTA. You are very generous to let them stay. Asking them to stay out of one room because it isn't suitable for children is very reasonable.
  • Advertisement
  • Medical-Ad-6079 NTA. Parents have to teach kids boundaries. Your sister needs to step up.
  • MimiDu2123 NTA - if your mom wants to open up her home to be trashed, she's more than welcome to do that. You set clear rules, and they were not followed.
  • bettyclevelandstewrt My grandparents had a no-no room when we were kids. We didn't go in there. The end.
  • Advertisement
  • GreenPOR Good for you for standing up for yourself. Keep doing it, nicely. Truthfully, with 3 kids that age it was probably
  • never going to work. Your sister and you have very different perspectives & expectations about life; she had her first child at such a young age & has
  • built her life around the care & messiness of young children. Sorry this happened to you.
  • Advertisement
  • LissaBryan NTA You were kind (gullible) enough to allow them to stay,
  • but she refused to accept the one barrier you drew. She's going to let her kids tear up everything you own and whine about how kids are more
  • important than nice furniture if you object. Get her out before she tears up the rest of your sh..
  • Advertisement
  • PintoOct24 Your mom is full of sh. There are generations of people that grew up in houses where certain rooms were off limits for kids. Your mom's generation most likely.
  • Subject988 NTA Kids understand boundaries if you teach them boundaries. They
  • don't understand boundaries if you never teach them about boundaries. They also don't understand boundaries if their boundaries are never respected.
  • Advertisement
  • Your sister needs to be responsible for her kids. She needs to tell them in no uncertain terms "do not go in the living room and do not touch the lego stuff, or we will not be able to live here, and I
  • don't know where we would go." I know the truth hurts sometimes, but I grew up below the poverty line living in a room we rented in my grandma's trailer... Kids can deal with the truth.
  • They can understand the gravity of a situation, but you have to TELL THEM. When my youngest was 5, I looked her in the eye and said, "This is MY room, and you are not allowed in MY room. If
  • Advertisement
  • you go in my room without permission, take things you know aren't yours, or otherwise violate my rule about this room, we are going to have problems. I don't want to have problems. Am I
  • understood?" Oddly enough she said she understood and she has never once violated the rule about the room. Even now, she's 11, and she knocks even if she's staring at me sitting in my room. It's my space and
  • she knows she has to ask permission to come in. Kids aren't stupid... they just only know what you've told them... so tell them the truth.
  • Advertisement

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article