Mother-in-law paints over son and daughter-in-law’s home while they’re on vacation, they call the cops on her after finding out she drained their bank account as well: “I raised you, so you owe me the money”

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
May 26, 2025 1:00 PM EDT

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen of the internet. The word boundary has become part of our daily vernacular for a reason, and it's not all about therapy talk. Boundaries are the backbone of any healthy dynamic, whether it's between a boss and employee, between a couple, or between family members. Not owning up to your boundaries, or letting someone walk all over you can result in manipulation. If someone throws a fit at you expressing your boundaries, that's also a red flag. I once dated a guy who would call me controlling every time I tried to establish boundaries. And you know what? He turned out to be a narcissist cheater, so good riddance. 

In the story below, the protagonist is a woman who owns a big home with her husband. Because it's large and they have an inlaw suite, they invite his mother to live with them. Their home is quite unique, it's not your typical decorously modern home, it has spurts of unique flare in the wallpaper and decorations that are specific to the couple's taste. Everything seems to be fine, until they find out the MIL has painted over their home. Read the full story below for all the juicy details. 

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  • 01

    Would I be The AH for telling my Mother-in-Law to get out of my home?

    Cheezburger Image 10509839360
    via kitzcorner from Getty Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Throwaway account I (28F) got married 3 years ago (30M). Before I got married I owned a house. A decently sized home 4 bed, 2.5 bath and an in-law suit with 1 bed and 1 bath in the backyard. I have no kids of my own
    via u/Legal-Hovercraft-664

  • This woman sounds like she needs to be put in a mental institution. Stealing her son's money, painting over his home while he's on vacation, losing his pets, and then refusing to leave when the police arrive isn't normal toxic, it's hospitalization toxic. 

  • 03
    , my husband didn't have any kids either. I was kicked out of my home at 16 due to my mother not liking...my existence I suppose. I've had a job since I was 14, and saved vigorously to build my home. I lucked out and ended up with an
    via u/Legal-Hovercraft-664
  • 04
    inheritance as well from my late grandfather, a piece of land approx 10 acres as well as 600k. With my savings and inheritance, I built my dream home. I had it built by the age of 22.
    via u/Legal-Hovercraft-664
  • 05
    Fast forward to when i got married, my husband LOVED the house. Its whimsical, colorful, happy, bright and a mixture of cottage core and the hobbit vibes with a touch of dark academia. I love painting and
    via u/Legal-Hovercraft-664
  • 06
    have added a ton of details EVERYWHERE, like a small fox family painted on one of the walls, or flowers around entryways. I made it a happy place for myself
    via u/Legal-Hovercraft-664
  • 07
    Cheezburger Image 10509841152
    via nudesignyork / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 08
    and my husband loved it. My husband and I moved in together. Combined we have 4 cats.
    via u/Legal-Hovercraft-664
  • 09
    Now to the issue. My Mil lost her husband about a year ago, and we offered her the inlaw suit due to her overwhelming debt. She accepted and moved in. All was fine until recently.
    via u/Legal-Hovercraft-664
  • 10
    My husband and I were on a vacation. We hired a pet sitter and were supposed to be gone for 2 weeks. The pet sitter is a trusted
    via u/Legal-Hovercraft-664
  • 11
    friend of mine, we work at the same office and she's amazing! about 4 days into our vacation, she called me panicking
    via u/Legal-Hovercraft-664
  • 12
    My mil hired painters to come into MY HOME and paint the entire house. My friend, the cat sitter had come in the AM, fed and watered the cats, played with them and went to work about a hour later. 8
    via u/Legal-Hovercraft-664
  • 13
    hours later, when she was off of work she came back and my living room, front hall, office and kitchen were all painted. My friend found 3 cats locked in the connected
    via u/Legal-Hovercraft-664
  • 14
    garage and cannot find the 4th. The garage has no AC and its at least 80F in my state rn. White.
    via u/Legal-Hovercraft-664
  • 15
    My husband is livid, as am I. We are still currently on vacation and haven't brought it up to MIL yet. My husband said we should evict her for this, as it's a huge
    via u/Legal-Hovercraft-664
  • 16
    boundary cross. Like, she shouldn't be in the house, she's supposed to be in the suit and she knows this. It has been discussed! She has made comments, calling my home
    via u/Legal-Hovercraft-664
  • 17
    childish and immature, but never mentioned painting it. I want to cut my vacation short and deal with this, but im worried that I might be overreacting. Im not good with
    via u/Legal-Hovercraft-664
  • 18
    social dynamics or interactions, so I'm struggling to understand whether or not I'm going 2 far.
    via u/Legal-Hovercraft-664
  • 19
    Reddit, am I overreacting? Or is this as messed up as it feels?
    via u/Legal-Hovercraft-664
  • 20
    Update: Husband called his brothers and uncles. They're headed to our home to get her to leave. It's only been an hour since I posted this, so there's not a huge
    via u/Legal-Hovercraft-664
  • 21
    ONLINE BANKING Your Account 5.724.48 9.354.89 Headphones farge cable + Passport
    via DragonImages / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 22
    update, but I have contacted an attorney and he said i 100% have legal grounds to sue for B&E, Vandalism, and to sue her for the paint costs, emotional damages
    via u/Legal-Hovercraft-664
  • 23
    and to put a trespass on her. Hubby and I booked a flight for Saturday to head home and will be home by Sunday morning. I'll update then.
    via u/Legal-Hovercraft-664
  • 24
    2nd update: Both my and my husbands credit cards are EMPTY! between both of us, we had 10k in available credit that we had set aside for emergencies. Hubby
    via u/Legal-Hovercraft-664
  • 25
    called MIL and asked her what the heck is going on, and she had the audacity to reply with "I raised you, so you owed me the money" I'm baffled. Beyond confused. My husbands brothers and uncles have
    via u/Legal-Hovercraft-664
  • 26
    contacted the police, she's refusing to leave the suite, and has locked herself inside. The police are saying its a civil matter and we would have to serve her with an eviction notice to get her out due to her refusing to leave.
    via u/Legal-Hovercraft-664
  • 27
    One of my brother-in-law's laws found my cat under the garden shed! He's safe. Thank Goodness.
    via u/Legal-Hovercraft-664
  • 28
    Ill give the final update in a few days after we get home and get everything settled
    via u/Legal-Hovercraft-664
  • 29
    _Anonymous_Axolotl_ This is absolutely as messed up as it feels. She broke in and vandalized your property - and yes, this is vandalism. NTA at all if you evict her. If she
    via u/_Anonymous_Axolotl_
  • 30
    breaks these kind of boundaries now, she'll smash them all once there's a grandkid involved.
    via u/_Anonymous_Axolotl_
  • 31
    shutyoursmartmouth Your DH wanting to evict her before you have a baby is his biggest gift to you. Let him. I promise when a baby is in the mix her crazy will only ramp up
    via u/shutyoursmartmouth

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