‘You need to stop yelling. You’re not at a zoo’: Child-free coworker Kelly grabs and “disciplines” a colleague’s 5-year-old son at a company BBQ, pushing the 31-year-old mother to snap and put Kelly in her place

Oh, Kelly! Come on, you know trying to discipline someone else's child, a coworker's, no less, is the social equivalent of microwaving fish in the office kitchen: technically possible, but guaranteed to make everyone hate you. If grabbing random kids and issuing zookeeper-grade orders were acceptable, we'd all just wander around the next company function handing out timeouts to anyone who double-dips in the guac.

So, Kelly's coworker shows up to the company BBQ with her five-year-old, because it's a family-friendly event, not a silent meditation retreat. The kid, social and loud, or in other words, conscious and under 10, plays tag outside. Basic, wholesome BBQ chaos. But here comes Kelly, who famously loathes children almost as much as she loves passive-aggressive commentary. Rather than just avoid the pint-sized messing around, she decides it's her moral duty to physically stop the fun, grab an arm, and announce, "You're not at a zoo." Bold move, Kelly. I mean, not everyone can alienate a preschooler and an office full of adults in one go.

Naturally, the kid's mom responds like any parent who just watched their child get manhandled by someone whose only credential is "owns noise-cancelling headphones." Awkward standoff, shock among the potato salad, and now Kelly's pouting at work, spinning her "just setting boundaries" story while everyone else contemplates actual boundaries, like not touching other people's kids.

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