Kids refuse to spend Father's Day with their dad after stepmom makes family plans but fails to invite them, dad avoids taking sides: ‘He just goes along with it’

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Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jun 19, 2025 1:00 PM EDT

Out of all the family members, who are the ones responsible for planning the celebrations of days like Father's and Mother's Day?

If you ask us, the responsibility changes as the family grows and evolves. 

First, the happy couple must become parents, because until there is an actual child in the household, neither of them is a father nor a mother. After they completed the first step, and as long as their children are not old enough to understand the concept of a day dedicated to their parent, the responsibility falls on the spouse. They are the ones who should make the plans, write the cards, and buy the presents.

Once the kids are old enough to plan the day themselves, the responsibility moves to them. They might need a reminder from the other parent and some guidance, but they are perfectly capable of deciding what they want to do and writing the cards themselves. As long as the kids are there to celebrate their parents, there is no reason that someone else would do it for them, which is what happened in the story below.

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  • These kids would have loved to spend Father's Day with their dad, but their stepmom had other plans, plans she did not even include them in. It seems like their family is falling apart because of her, and their dad is doing nothing to stop it…

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    "He married down into an entitled family"
    via Georgijevic

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    AITAH - For not wanting to spend Father’s Day with my dad because his wife makes plans every year & doesn’t invite us?

    Pretty much what it says. Every year my dad's wife makes big plans for Father's Day & every year we (dad's kids) aren't included in them. Dad
    via Top-Interview-3789
  • 03
    remarried & it's been an ongoing pattern of his kids being conveniently "forgotten" at some family events. He's not a planner so his wife plans everything & more times than
    via Top-Interview-3789
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    not her family gets the invite but ours "slipped her mind". It's really impacting the way I see my dad. He doesn't like confrontation & sort of just
    via Top-Interview-3789
  • 05
    goes along with it. He expresses wanting to spend more time together but his wife gets upset if she's not invited. Meanwhile she has solo dates with her kids often.
    via Top-Interview-3789
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    If I named all the double standards it would be a grocery list. We're very different people - my siblings, dad & I are hard
    via Top-Interview-3789
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    workers, own homes, etc. He married down and into an entitled family. To some extent I think he's being taken advantage of but he's an adult so I respect the family he chose.
    via Top-Interview-3789
  • 08
    I'm ranting but would love your thoughts on how to navigate this. I love my dad very much but don't feel welcome due to stepfamily.
    via Top-Interview-3789
  • 09
    HAPPY FATHER'S DAY
    via Road Ahead
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    Competitive-Bat-43 I have 2 philosophies that have never failed me. 1. When people show you who they are - believe them 2. You get what you tolerate
    via Competitive-Bat-43
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    You dad is showing you that he does not care if you guys are around because he is not doing anything to change it. Don't tolerate it anymore. You either step up and make the plans yourself or cut him off. You are in control
    via Top-Competitive-Bat-43-3789
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    Top-Interview-3789 OP Thank you so much for this. The latter is what I've done for years. Push through the discomfort, ignore passive aggressive comments & forgotten invitations, initiating
    via Top-Interview-3789
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    plans, etc. He believes kids have responsibility in maintaining the parent/child relationship.... The stepfamily is who they are but it's my dad's lack of accountability/action thats most upsetting.
    via Top-Interview-3789
  • 14
    nemc222 How far in advance do you try to make plans with your father for Father's Day or other holidays? Do you wait until the last minute and then are disappointed when other plants have already been made, or do you reach out weeks ahead of time?
    via nemc222
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    Top-Interview-3789 OP The issue is it's almost always me initiating plans. For the life of me I don't understand making Father's Day plans for your husband and not including his children. At the very least. extend an invite. We are cordial & respect one another. It's just weird imo
    via Top-Interview-3789
  • 16
    grayblue_grrl Your dad is making choices. Non confrontational is a weakness and a choice. That's all there is to it and if this is how he wants to live his life, then that's the way he should have it.
    via grayblue_grrl
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    And if he says he wants to see you just lob it back to him. Sure dad. Name the time and date and we will be there. ΝΤΑ -
    via grayblue_grrl
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    Top-Interview-3789 OP Appreciate this response! It usually goes "I wanna see you" but in reality it's you pick a place that's convenient for me at a time thats convenient for me.
    via Top-Interview-3789
  • 19
    He doesn't realize how much of his life is absolutely robbed by the inability to face confrontation. Even more - his wife is fully aware of this & frames things in a way that makes him feel he's in control but are ultimately her idea. Super layered & exhausting to say the least
    via Top-Interview-3789
  • 20
    Impossible_Nebula_33 If he wanted he would, he doesn't want to and is happy to go along with his new wife. She isn't holding him hostage in their home.
    via Impossible_Nebula_33
  • 21
    Traditional_Tea_1879 Specifically for father's day, you make the plans. Don't wait for his wife to do so. I don't think this is a aith question though.
    via Traditional_Tea_1879

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Tags

family drama aita fathers day kids mother siblings stepmom reddit story parenting petty entitled family Reddit parents children entitled people Father
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