51-year-old boyfriend breaks up with his girlfriend after she offered to host her daughter-in-law's 87-year-old father in her home for 3 weeks: 'How does it look that you have another man staying at your house while you are dating me?'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jun 19, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

We all assume that people mature as they age, but that isn't always the case. We've all met 50 and 60-year-olds who behave as if they're still in junior high and don't mature beyond that when they reach their 70s and 80s. Getting older helps many people let go of hang-ups they had in their 20s and 30s (For example, nobody thinks of you as much as you think about yourself), but it doesn't mean old people are fully mature and able to have healthy relationships. Advanced age does not automatically entitle someone to your respect. Old people can be jealous, hateful, and unwilling to change as anybody. If anything, it's harder to make radical changes to your worldview and behavior once you're reaching retirement age. You've already started over so many times in life; each time you begin again, you have less and less kindness and flexibility to give. 

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  • 01

    AITA let my DIL's father stay with me and my boyfriend broke up with me?

    My son (38) and his wife(39) live in my basement. It has a bedroom and a large living room while they save up and look for a house. My DIL's father (87m) was visiting from Poland for 3 weeks and she asked if he could stay with me. I said yes, I have extra bedrooms upstairs. I have been
    via u/Successful-Ask-6444

  • The 51-year-old man in this story is not so elderly that he can't change his ways. He broke up with his girlfriend because he's jealous of her housing her daughter-in-law's 87-year-old dad for 3 weeks. He's traveling from Poland, and her boyfriend couldn't stand that his girlfriend planned to treat him kindly. 

  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10519020800
    via Yunus Tuğ (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 03
    dating my bf (51m) for two years. He threw a fit and broke up with me. He said he wouldn't visit while he was here and what would he tell his friends. He lives a distance and will spend the night when he visits. He said how does it look that you have another man staying at your house while you are dating me? I
    via u/Successful-Ask-6444
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    Cheezburger Image 10519020544
    via Bernard Tuck

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 05
    honestly didn't get his anger. I said that is what family does. He said he doesn't know anyone else who would do the same thing. WIBTA?
    via u/Successful-Ask-6444
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    Cheezburger Image 10519018752
    via Robbie Duncan

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 07
    z-eldapin If he's losing it over an 87 year old man staying there, then that's a HIM issue.
    via u/z-eldapin
  • 08
    DaddysPrincesss26 Absolutely. It is Indeed a HIM Problem
    via u/DaddysPrincesss26
  • 09
    No-Diet-4797 This is an "ishyou not ishme". How the heck is a guy so insecure he feels threatened by an 87 year old man that is family? Weird is an understatement. NTA op
    via u/No-Diet-4797
  • 10
    Ambitious-Bottle9394 I think he has issue with her let the son&DIL staying too he just didn't want seem like D and say it. So, when 87 yr man came was perfect time for him to have a fit over it.
    via u/Ambitious-Bottle9394
  • 11
    ZalutPats Maybe he's so old looking that he figures that's what she's into? Telling on himself, really.
    via u/ZalutPats
  • 12
    trvllvr Seems like he may have been looking for a reason and this 87yo was the best he could come up with to break up. ETA: as for doenst know anyone who would allow an in law/family stay with them is sad. Who would say no, under normal circumstances
    via u/trvllvr
  • 13
    merewenc Especially coming from so far away and for so long? That would be an expensive hotel!
    via u/merewenc
  • 14
    Chrispixc61 I would have found it interesting to speak to the older gentleman he would have been really young during the invasion of Poland, i bet that he had a lot of stories to tell
    via u/Chrispixc61
  • 15
    lamLuann Yes he is probably a walking History Book. Lots of things to teach everyone he comes into contact with. OP PLEASE thank God that your boyfriend left you! Make sure that you change the locks and don't let him back into your house or your life. Give your Son and Daughter in law lots of hugs for opening your eyes.
    via u/lamLuann
  • 16
    GibsonGirl55 He would have been a year old in 1939. He might have some memories of the occupation since he would have been seven by the end of WWII.
    via u/GibsonGirl55
  • 17
    Creditcriminal And the man is her DIL's dad... I would say all of if comes down to being immature. He is immature and truly threatened by another family member, that is a man, staying with him while visiting from another country.
    via u/Creditcriminal
  • 18
    He wants to break up, but is too immature that he hopes he can break up in a passive manner, and this is the catalyst he will use. He is immature and has watched too much and thinks she will cheat.
    via u/Creditcriminal
  • 19
    BlackNg01dBos an 87 year old man who is family no less
    via u/BlackNg01dBos
  • 20
    ava_campbell78 Letting an old man stay over is basic human decency. If he can't deal with that, he can hit the road.
    via u/ava_campbell78
  • 21
    Blessed_Berry_Creek I totally agree. If he was really in the relationship for the long hall and had an issue with this it should have been a discussion, not a threat.
    via u/Blessed_Berry_Creek
  • 22
    deathbyslience Can almost gaurentee he is cheating that thats why his mind went there first.
    via u/deathbyslience
  • 23
    Clear_Ad6844 Seriously? This is what family does. He's a complete weirdo. All he would need to say is that your DIL's dad is staying with HER, not you. You all live in the same house. I do not understand his attitude.
    via u/Clear_Ad6844
  • 24
    1arm Tash The trash took itself out. You don't need that level of ridiculous jealousy... is he worried the 90 year old will steal you away or that you would entice him? NTA
    via u/1armTash
  • 25
    Kd-2330 Sounds like he is more concerned about what "they' whoever that may be may think in their twisted minds than you. This is crazy. Now if he was in his 60s and looked like George Clooney? That I would get.
    via u/Kd-2330

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Dating-Relationships boyfriend toxic relationships daughter in law house mother hosting relationships girlfriend father in law in laws elderly mom toxic relationship
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