Coworker Todd schedules “urgent” Zoom meetings just to read emails everyone already got, turning Tuesday mornings into a collective eye-rolling contest: ‘I’m not even mad anymore. I just want to know what planet Todd lives on’

There aren't many modern rituals more soul-draining than a meeting that could've been an email, but Todd has elevated this corporate endurance test into a surreal performance art, because his Zoom meetings were already emails. BEFORE the meeting.

 In a world already drowning in pointless notifications, Todd's "Weekly Priorities" call is the digital equivalent of being trapped in an elevator with a motivational poster that never stops talking. Every Tuesday, the team is summoned for a dramatic reading of emails they've all already received, as if comprehension is a group activity and literacy a team sport.

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  • My coworker schedules “urgent” Zoom meetings just to read emails out loud… the same emails we all got.

    "I don't know who gave Todd this much power, but it needs to be revoked immediately"
    via peopleimages-yuriarcurs

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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  • Todd, armed with screen share and a bottomless well of buzzwords, orchestrates these sessions like a substitute teacher who’s lost control of the class but insists on roll calling and reading the syllabus aloud anyway. The weekly magical meeting includes live troubleshooting of printer errors and the kind of circular jargon that would make a thesaurus beg for mercy. “Let’s circle back” is less a suggestion and more a threat, echoing through the call like a warning bell for anyone foolish enough to hope for brevity.

  • I don't know who gave Todd this much power, but it needs to be revoked immediately.
    via MennoWeenink
  • Cheezburger Image 10519393024
    via AndreyPopov

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Every Tuesday at 9AM, he schedules a mandatory Zoom called "Weekly Priorities."
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  • What happens in it? He opens his inbox... reads HR announcements... word for word... like we're in kindergarten story time.
    via MennoWeenink
  • Cheezburger Image 10519393280
    via AndreyPopov

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • The man once screen-shared a printer error message and asked, "Is this just me?"
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  • He said "Let's circle back" 7 times in a single sentence last week. I counted.
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  • He ends every meeting with "Great talk, team" after talking 98% of the time and asking zero questions.
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  • I've started playing Corporate Bingo just to survive.
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  • Last week I won with:
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  • "Bandwidth"
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  • "Low-hanging fruit"
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  • "Ping me offline"
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  • A cat walking across someone's keyboard
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  • And the classic: "Sorry, you're on mute."
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  • I'm not even mad anymore. I just want to know what planet Todd lives on and if I can visit. Briefly.
    via MennoWeenink

  • While Todd congratulates himself on another “great talk,” the rest of the team is quietly playing Corporate Bingo, collecting squares for every cliché, technical hiccup, and feline cameo. The only real collaboration happening is a silent competition to see who can keep a straight face. Todd’s Zoom meetings are less about priorities and more about testing the limits of human patience.

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management boss workplace-stories hr manager bosses work PTO managers supervisor workplace Horrible Bosses work-life balance
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