39-year-old dad plans a once-in-a-lifetime trip to his homeland with his family, then the in-laws tag along and complain about how much they have to walk: 'Half a mile in, he was struggling'

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Jun 27, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

American tourists are notorious all over the world. While they make up a large majority of global travelers, they are arguably the least global group of individuals on Earth. I am an American and have come across my fair share of fellow countrymen abroad, and it's always baffling to me when tourists are in Paris asking, "Where's the nearest Starbucks?" or complaining about the lack of WiFi in rural Mexico, or insisting on grabbing McDonald's for dinner instead of local Italian cuisine. Unsurprisingly, that's no secret to the locals, hence the notoriety of loud American tourists clamoring to drink water and snap a pic of their favorite Insta-worthy landmark. 

Jokes aside, not everyone is built to travel. But although his whole family was raised in the U S of A, the dad in our next story was adamant about visiting his homeland with his young son. After he learned about the fascinating history of China's terracotta warriors, Dad thought it would be the perfect time for a little family vacation back to the town where he was raised. But as the plan was forming, the man's in-laws decided to tag along, effectively ruining the vacation with their Americanisms and lack of fitness to endure a walk farther than two miles. 

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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • AITA for not adjusting our China trip to my BIL's cardio limits?
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  • I (39M) recently went to China with my sister (36F), her husband (we'll call him "Doug" 40M), their son (12), my wife and our two kids (11, 9). My sister and I were born in China, but our family immigrated to Dallas when we were young.
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  • She stayed there, got married, and had her son, while I settled in the Pacific NW with my wife and two gremlins of our own. Growing up, our parents emphasized healthy eating and staying active. My sister and I still
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  • live that way and pass it to our kids. Doug, however, is... American in every sense of that word. He grew up on ultra-processed foods (Fruit Snacks were considered fruit), and he'll insist on starting up his Grand Wagoneer for any distance more than three blocks.
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  • He's not TLC immobile, but definitely not built for long treks. Their son just finished 7th grade and loved the ancient China unit, especially the Terracotta Warriors. My sister thought this the perfect time for him, being half-Chinese,
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  • to visit his ancestral homeland. I was already planning a trip to Chongqing to see family, so we added my sister's family to the itinerary and expanded it to include places like Beijing, Xi'an, and Nanjing to match what their son had learned in school.
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  • handled most of the planning and tried to hint that a lot of walking would be involved-especially since many Chinese cities have vast transit systems and are less car-dependent. Doug didn't take it seriously. Once we arrived, it was
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  • clear he couldn't keep up when we explored the landmarks. My sister often stayed behind with him, while my wife and I continued with the kids to ensure we kept up with our tour groups.
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  • It all came to a head in our final stop: my grandmother's hometown near Chongqing. This place is basically vertical-stairs and steep slopes everywhere. On a particularly hot, humid day, I took the kids to the local market via a
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  • park our old family helped build. Doug insisted on coming, saying he didn't want to sit around all day. I warned it was a long walk, but he insisted. Half a mile in, he was struggling. I
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  • slowed down, but the kids kept running ahead. After we got through the park, I convinced him to take a taxi back while I continued to the market with the kids.
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  • When we returned, Doug was sulking and my sister was upset. She said I was inconsiderate for not just taking a taxi to the market. I explained that would've taken longer given the layout, and the kids wouldn't have seen the park
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  • that was part of our family history. She said she hadn't realized how physically demanding the trip would be since she let me handle most of the planning and I didn't consider Doug's limits.
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  • I agree I could've been more considerate of Doug's cardio, but not at the expense of my nephew and kids experiencing their cultural landmarks-especially since it was my nephew's first time in his homeland, and my kids' first time in Xi'an and Beijing. They all said had an amazing and educational experience. So-AITA?
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  • gordonf23 NTA. This was an expensive trip-- once in a lifetime for most people who could even think about going a trip like this--and you wanted everyone (especially the kids) to get the most out of it. You warned him
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  • about the walking (I will say you really shouldn't "hint" at these things, tho. Be direct in the future. "Just so you know, there's going to be a lot of long distance walking on this trip, so you might want to start practicing now.") and he didn't complain.
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  • He's an adult. He can take a taxi to get around if he wants to. He knows that he's the one with physical limitations, and he shouldn't expect to let his own limitations get in the way of everyone else's enjoyment.
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  • What he SHOULD have said was, "Hey, thank you so much for planning this amazing trip! I know the kids will remember this trip forever. I should have paid more attention when you warned me it
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  • would be physically demanding. I'm sorry if I held you guys back at all. This has been a real wake-up call for me and I'll plan to get into shape as soon as we get back to the states so I can keep up with y'all in the future!"
    via gordonf23
  • FarlerFive NTA I went to Italy with family. We visited Mt Aetna. My sisters & BIL decided to climb further up the volcano & I did not want that level of exertion (honestly debatable if I could have). So up they went while I
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  • sat my a at the cafe/store & had a local beer & cannoli. I wasn't going to stop them from going & miss the opportunity. I also exercised & dieted & lost 60 lbs in anticipation of this trip so that I could sightsee & keep up.
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