19-year-old complains that only ugly guys swipe right on her on dating apps, male friend tells her she's just as attractive as these so-called ugly guys: 'She should give some of them a chance'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jun 26, 2025 1:00 PM EDT

Dating apps make everybody jaded, from the most attractive people on the planet to the hopeless cases. We all know a couple who met on Hinge and are getting married next Spring, but we have no idea how they got from step 1 to step marriage. Were they using a different Hinge than the one you and I use?

I like to think I'd succeed on dating apps if I used them consistently. I tend to get overwhelmed and abandon them altogether, hoping that the real world will be less demoralizing than an endless stream of introducing myself to strangers, to no avail. But then again, we also all know that person who has been on over 100 first dates and has yet to have one serious relationship come from it. Sometimes, the apps aren't the problem. Sometimes you need to take a long, hard look in the mirror and realize that the problem is you. 

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  • There's a good chance that the girl in this story is the source of the problem. She claims that she never matches with anybody she finds attractive on dating apps, and is fed a constant stream of ugly guys. When her friend looked at those so-called “ugly guys," he was shocked to see that they were perfectly average-looking.

  • 01

    AITA for telling my friend she’s in the same league as men she calls ugly?

    My friend [19f] downloaded dating apps like Tinder and Hinge for the first time about a week ago. For reference, she's the type that always says she wants a boyfriend, wants to do couple things, feels lonely single, etc. She's also, imo at least, very normal and average looks wise: not ugly, not super hot, just alright.
    via u/Fluid_Experience866
  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10522237440
    via Paul Schafer

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 03
    Since then, she's been complaining to me that almost all the men there are ugly, short, etc, and that she doesn't match with anybody hot.
    via u/Fluid_Experience866
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10522235136
    via Andrej Lišakov (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 05
    I asked to see which people she was calling ugly and so she showed me her likes, and it mostly showed people perfectly in her league, as in moderately attractive guys. I told her that these guys were all in her league and she should give some of them a chance since she always complains about wanting to be in a relationship.
    via u/Fluid_Experience866
  • 06
    tinder
    via Good Faces Agency

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 07
    She denied that she's the same league as them and said that she's much more attractive than them. I pointed out that in her own words, she doesn't match with any of the guys she does find attractive, so she's not in their league. She said I was an AH. Am I?
    via u/Fluid_Experience866
  • 08
    WaterMagician ESH I'm so glad I'm not 19 anymore
    via u/WaterMagician
  • 09
    pistachio-pie So much this. I feel like I'm on all the sides of this one.
    via u/pistachio-pie
  • 10
    PsychonauticalEng "I keep getting rejected from all these ivy league schools." "You have a 3.1 GPA, maybe go to one of the state colleges you were accepted to." "OMG, you're so mean!"
    via u/PsychonauticalEng
  • 11
    Andrew-h-a Right? Dating at 19 is just a brutal mix of delusion and disappointment.
    via u/Andrew-h-a
  • 12
    mayd3r What do you mean ESH? People like that need a reality check. NTA
    via u/mayd3r
  • 13
    No-Sea1173 NTA. Those apps have algorithms that track who likes you, and adjust the options you're shown. So essentially - an attractiveness aogorithm. If she wants to be superficial in how she rates guys, then she needs to be able to handle the same standard.
    via u/No-Sea1173
  • 14
    Fluid Experience866 OP yeah that's a good point
    via u/Fluid_Experience866
  • 15
    _Z_O_K_ Not just that, but dating app tend to trigger a stance in which you see through the lists of candidates as if it were any other leisure shopping app. It is good to remind her she's a candidate too, and that does not give her the right to be mean to others.
    via u/_Z_0_K_
  • 16
    Remember also that when scrolling through the lists, matching doesn't make for a quality relationship or even a quality conversation. Whomever or whatever she's looking for, she has to talk to those people and be able to see beyond looks. An handsome man isn't always a disciplined one, a well shaved, well dressed man isn't always a loving one, etc. Talk to people, then eventually, make an opinion.
    via u/_Z_0_K_
  • 17
    BTW you guys are young so I get the reason why, but I hate the fact that you guys see this as a "league" thing. There's no league, people get attracted to people for their inner qualities too, you know? Anyway, do your thing and be safe out there kiddos.
    via u/_Z_0_K_
  • 18
    MithosYggdrasill1992 I agree with all of this, particularly that last little bit at the end. There's no such thing as being in or out of someone's "league", because as you mature, you realize that that's nonsense. Very well phrased.
    via u/MithosYggdrasill1992
  • 19
    HeyLie3890 There are also a theory that the algorithm is designed to show you a few people you may like among lots you wouldn't in order to keep you using it and make you pay for addition features
    via u/HeyLie3890
  • 20
    YE_O-1 ESH cuz believing in leagues is so shallow and dumb
    via u/YE_O-1
  • 21
    LaconicGirth In real life? Sure absolutely. Social interaction takes priority at that point. On dating apps? 110% there are leagues and it's naive to think there are not. They're not hard and fast and different people might consider the same person higher or lower but there are absolutely leagues. The dating apps themselves have literally MMR scores they give people based off what rate they're swiped on.
    via u/LaconicGirth
  • 22
    Fluid Experience866 OP objectively if every guy she finds attractive and swipes on doesn't match with her, it proves they do exist lol
    via u/Fluid_Experience866
  • 23
    YE_O-1 I dont see how is that anything but personal preferences.
    via u/YE_O-1
  • 24
    Prize_Sort5983 Welcome to the real world. Attractive people have an advantage in life from dating to salary. There are studies on the topic. The world is shallow you gotta deal with it.
    via u/Prize_Sort5983
  • 25
    Luckylefttit Oh, you're a guy 80
    via u/Luckylefttit

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bumble teenager teenagers tinder tinder-fails hinge college students attractive dating apps ugly online dating dating app league college student dating
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