Brother and sister-in-law name their baby an identical "matching" name to couple's already-born baby, forcing them to change their baby's name: 'We'd pretend to keep the original name until there was zero risk of SIL changing my nephew's name'

Author image for Brad Dickson
Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Jun 30, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

Family members can be a strange kettle of fish… and there's something almost uncanny valley about them. They're close enough to you that they're recognizable to you in mannerisms and appearance, but different enough that it's almost off-putting to witness them in existence. Like, it's strange to see them acting and behaving in a way that makes you hyper-aware of your own tendencies and mannerisms. 

Don't get me wrong, family is everything, and growing up with a rich and vibrant extended family is something special to experience as a kid. But, while it's nice to have family you can rely on, you'll find yourself time and time again craving and seeking your own individuality. Without a doubt, as Johnny Cash's "A Boy Named Sue" taught us, names are an important part of any burgeoning identity, and the last thing you want is to be stuck with the exact same name as your cousin.

Finding individual niches and paths will happen naturally as you grow up and go in different directions to walk different paths, but there's nothing worse than feeling constricted by who your family wants you to be. This holds mostly for cousins, aunts, and uncles, but can also be true for siblings and the people they go on to marry. You might grow up to find that each of you has values and interests that don't mesh well with the other. 

This guy and his wife found themselves at odds with his brother and his sister-in-law over the naming of their children. Both his wife and his sister-in-law were pregnant and soon to give birth. The sister-in-law decided that she was going to give her child the same name that the couple had already selected so that the boys' names would be "matching." An insane decision reached through flawed reasoning that would send cracks flowing through the family and its existing dynamic.

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  • 01

    "AITA for silently changing my son's name after my brother and SIL gave my nephew the name too?"

    My wife and I had our son 4 months ago. We had a name chosen early in her pregnancy. We kept that name to ourselves but my SIL (married to my brother) found it out when she was still pregnant with my nephew (almost 7 months old). She never said how. She just told us she loved the name, congrats and she couldn't wait to meet him. We assume she snooped because she was not told. I even mentioned it to my brother and he said that his wife does like to browse through people's things like it was no bi
    via DaikonCompetitive147
  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10524131840
    via Brooke Balentine

    The image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 03
    Then when my nephew was born they announced his name and it was the name we chose. First, middle and last name. My brother called right after SIL posted the announcement and he told me to keep quiet because his wife had a rough birth and she didn't need drama and he knew we might not like it but she really wanted the name. Her reason? My brother and I have matching twin-like names and SIL wanted to connect our two boys by just giving them the same name so they were each other's namesake.
    via DaikonCompetitive147
  • 04
    My wife and I talked it over and we decided to pick a different name. But we'd pretend to keep the original name until there was zero risk of SIL changing my nephew's name (6 months after a birth is harder to make a change in our state). We only started telling people the true name last week. My parents and sisters said it made sense. Friends and my ILs understood why we did it. My brother told me I upset his wife by silently doing this sh and taking away her choice to match the boys. He told me
    via DaikonCompetitive147
  • 05
    I asked him if he considered how much tougher it would be with both boys enrolled in the same schools with the very same name. Not to mention banking, doctors, dental all kinds of stuff. He told me plenty of people have the same name and it's not a big deal and it's harder to mix sh up now and we're just trying to gatekeep names. I think he's cray. So does my wife. She said he clearly doesn't want SIL to be mad. But AITA for what I did? Like are we weird for thinking of this kind of stuff?
    via DaikonCompetitive147
  • 06
    Cheezburger Image 10524132096
    via Arabella Futcher

    The image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 07
    Loving Wisdom Definitely NTA: Your brother is outraged that you "took away SIL's choice to match the boys" What about the fact that she took away your choice to have an individual name? By invading your privacy? He's fine with that I assume?
    via DaikonCompetitive147
  • 08
    Amaranthim But you didn't 'gatekeep'. You didn't tell them they had to change the name they stole from you. You were quite kind and didn't make a fuss over it. They are mentally deficient. Congrats on your new baby
    via DaikonCompetitive147
  • 09
    avid-learner-bot NTA for not letting SIL dictate names, her snooping was low-key whack. Your boy deserves an identity that's uniquely his, sans familial name-cloning drama.
    via DaikonCompetitive147
  • 10
    24601moamo NTA. Skip the brother. Tell SIL she is creepy and she's not allowed around your son until she gets her behavior under control. It's creepy in my opinion.
    via DaikonCompetitive147
  • 11
    Annual_Union8025 Your brother and sister in law are WEIRDOS. Not just for picking the same name secretly that you had already chosen (and then hypocritically getting mad at you for secretly changing your son's name), but also for being mad that they can't force you all to have the same name as their son. They also don't sound very bright.
    via DaikonCompetitive147
  • 12
    Diet Any 5009 Your brother and SIL are weird as sh. So weird that I find this story unbelievable. Why would anyone want their child to share an exact name with their cousin? My aunt stole my little sister's name. Purposely. My sister didn't get that name. Aunt is a psycho but stealing a name seems more normal than expecting to share it. I'd have a lot of trouble maintaining a relationship with my brother if he was that selfish.
    via DaikonCompetitive147
  • 13
    FloMoJoeBlow Normally I would say that you don't own the name, but the issue here is with SIL's deciding on her own "to match the boys". That's just weird. NTA.
    via DaikonCompetitive147

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Babies family dynamics teens family drama aita AITAH infant kids brother sibling rivalry teenagers blended family siblings moms family feud parenting family pregnant reddit thread parent raising kids Parenting Fail parents children
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