Homeowner refuses to host her sister’s three under-6 kids in her small but cozy home, after years of being treated like the family maid: ‘My sister shows up, dumps her kids in my living room, and plops on the couch until food is served’

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  • AIO for refusing to host a family dinner because my sister treats me like the help?

    "I said I'm tired, and I want a break. My sister LOST it" моложе
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  • I (32F) own a small but cozy home and have always been the one to host events because "I have the space" (read: no kids and I keep
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  • my place clean). My younger sister (29F) has three kids under 6, and she and her husband live in what I would kindly call chaos. Loud, messy chaos.
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  • For the last few years, every holiday dinner has been at my place. I cook, clean, set up activities for the kids, and buy
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  • wine and snacks "just in case." No one ever offers to pitch in beyond bringing soda or napkins. My
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  • sister in particular shows up, dumps her kids in my living room, and plops on the couch until food is served.
  • This year, I told the family I'm opting out of hosting Thanksgiving. I said I'm tired, and I want a break. My sister LOST it, said I was being selfish and "knew
  • full well" she couldn't host. She told me I "don't understand how hard it is being a mom," and I "get off on being the favorite child."
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  • Our mom called and tried to guilt-trip me by saying I'm "making the holidays hard on
  • everyone." I suggested they rotate hosting next year to keep things fair.
  • Now my sister's Facebook is full of passive-aggressive "some people just don't get family" posts.
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  • Am I overreacting for saying no after years of doing everything?
  • Outrageous-Victory 18 Your sister CAN host, she just chooses not to because it takes planning, work and organization. You should not be the default because she won't step up. If a rota isn't
  • put in place, suggest t'giving dinner at a restaurant. Or better yet, take yourself on a t'giving weekend holiday and let them fend for themselves.
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  • Sassy-Peanut You have allowed your family to take advantage of you for too long - they know you do all the work and they get to slob around and be waited on.
  • Your response to the complaints should be that you have done more than your share of hosting over the years and now it's someone else's turn? They don't like it? Tough. You aren't their event planner or their employee. You have a
  • right to say no and not feel guilty. I'd also make it plain that you are looking forward to a quiet holiday this year when you won't have to slave away for everyone else's enjoyment. But then I like to rub it in if people don't get the message the first time.
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