'He says my animals have "ruined his peace"': Boyfriend of 2 years adopts a German Shorthaired Pointer puppy without consulting his girlfriend, their 2 cats don't get along with the pup, and now, the couple are breaking up because of their pets

Moving in together is a huge test to a relationship. Moving in together when there are pets involved somehow makes the whole thing even more difficult. You don't know which sides of your partner you're going to see when you are with them 24/7, and unfortunately, we have seen people break up once they moved in with each other and each other's pets. We've seen a man break up with his girlfriend of 9 years because she cuddles her cat at night. We've seen a woman break up with her boyfriend because he didn't get along with her cat. We've even seen a girlfriend be jealous of her boyfriend's affection toward his cat and him break up with her over that. 

It always feels unexpected. And it always hurts. And it hurt this time as well. Because in a two-year relationship, where things seemed to be going well, stable, this couple made a complete 180 after moving in together. 

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Author image for Mariel Ruvinsky Mariel Ruvinsky
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  • 01

    "Were we too much?"

    "Now breaking up-due to our differences in how we care for our pets."
    via Unsplash / Andrew S - sita2

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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  • 02
    My boyfriend and I have been together for two years, and we're now breaking up—mainly due to our differences in how we raise and care for our pets.
    via PipiTorti
  • 03
    When I met him, I already had two indoor cats. About a year into our relationship, I moved into his house in a small town with little traffic.
    via PipiTorti
  • 04
    He encouraged me to let the cats outside, which I eventually did. At first, I brought them in at night, but over time they stayed out longer, and we tried to make it work.
    via PipiTorti
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  • 05
    A few months later, he suddenly brought home a German Shorthaired Pointer (GSP) puppy without discussing it with me. I was excited, but also a little taken aback by the lack of communication.
    via PipiTorti
  • 06
    We had no fence at the time, so we had to keep the puppy indoors, even though he believed dogs should be kept outside. I, on the other hand, wanted the dog to have access to both the inside and outside.
    via PipiTorti
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    Cheezburger Image 10526210304
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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  • 08
    I became the primary caregiver ―training, housebreaking, walking her three times a day, playing, researching her needs (especially because GSPs are high-energy), all while it was getting colder outside.
    via PipiTorti
  • 09
    After a couple of months, he finally installed a front yard fence and we started letting her stay outside more. We also set up a bed for her in the garage, but she still came inside regularly, especially when it was cold.
    via PipiTorti
  • 10
    The big issue was that she didn't get along with one of my cats. He would hiss and swipe at her, even when she was just walking by. I managed it by supervising their interactions and keeping them apart when needed.
    via PipiTorti
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  • 11
    As the weather got warmer, we started letting the cats inside during the day and the dog outside and switched at night. But one of my cats would return home around 6 a.m. and meow to be let in, which woke my boyfriend.
    via PipiTorti
  • 12
    He got frustrated and made fun of me for being my cat's "doorman." I even bought earplugs to help us sleep, and eventually we installed a magnetic mosquito screen so the cats could come and go more quietly.
    via PipiTorti
  • 13
    But then the dog figured out how to use the screen too. She'd run out around 4 a.m. and start barking—either at the cats or other dogs. That woke us up again, and the whole situation became a cycle of disrupted sleep and growing tension.
    via PipiTorti
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    The Doctors Book of OUR MINI QUILT PROJECTS REZLEY SHRY
    via Unsplash / Danae Callister - dcee60

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    He blamed me for "spoiling" the animals, saying that their behavior had destroyed his peace. On top of that, we had serious disagreements about training.
    via PipiTorti
  • 16
    I believe in consistency and patience training the dog with time and understanding. He believes in immediate consequences, like tying the dog up when she misbehaves, which I didn't fully agree with.
    via PipiTorti
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  • 17
    Now, I'm moving back to my apartment. He says he's relieved because my animals have "ruined his peace." And honestly, I'm relieved too-because it's clear we're incompatible in how we live and care for animals.
    via PipiTorti
  • 18
    But I still wonder: Did I go too far in trying to accommodate the pets' needs and ours? Should I have focused more on us as a couple? I truly feel like I tried everything I could to balance both, but maybe I still missed something.
    via PipiTorti
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    Cheezburger Image 10526209536
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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  • We have to start by saying that we are sorry you are going through this. It's easy to say “good riddance, you guys were not compatible in the first place”, but it's actually not that easy. You had two years invested in this, and although you seem to accept the breakup, it's still rough, and we're sending a lot of hugs and good vibes your way. 

  • 20
    Frosty_Astronomer909 His wording of your pets ruined his peace should be a red flag to you of future things to come. You probably were not really compatible and the animals just helped the bomb explode, and you never should have let him convince you to put your cats outside.
    via Frosty_Astronomer909
  • 21
    TikaPants He brought a working breed dog home and didn't consult with you first and you ruined his peace? What is he, 13?
    via TikaPants
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    Cheezburger Image 10526210048
    via Unsplash / Laura Matthews - lkmatt

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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  • We're not sure that anyone did anything too wrong here. Adopting the dog without consulting her was a bad idea, but she herself admitted that she was happy about it at first, that her reaction was positive. We don't think he did it to cause problems, problems just arose on their own. 

  • 23
    notadoctore Nah girl he's the problem. You did everything right, your cats were there before him, they're your family. They rely on you to give them a good home and that's what you've done. I'm proud of you for standing up for what you believe in. I won't be surprised if you end up with the dog too. Is he capable of taking good care of the dog? If not, I'd take him too and re-home him to good people.
    via notadoctore
  • 24
    Canongirl88 You sound like a responsible pet parent and he doesn't. The fact he got a dog without discussing it with you was the first big red flag. Then he says the animals are disrupting his peace! Wow massive red flag. My 16 year old dog disrupts my sleep nightly because he is starting to experience sundowners syndrome (doggy dementia) but I don't ever complain because he needs me and I am his entire world.
    via Canongirl88

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