Dad restricts 19-year-old daughter's laptop use because he doesn't believe she's spending 8-10 hours a day doing homework: 'I don't understand why every assignment needs a computer or laptop.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Jul 8, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

Extremely old people often don't realize just how much work one can accomplish on a laptop. You can work a 9-to-5 job, write a novel, correspond with people all over the world, code, earn a degree, and network like nobody's business with just a regular PC. I understand the impulse that thinking any time spent using a screen is mind-numbing, but the difference between working on a laptop and working on your phone is worlds apart. 

You would think that middle-aged people would know this to be true. After all, they've spent the majority of their careers working on computers. The average 50-year-old doesn't think that laptops are only good for playing video games and pirating movies, but some of them don't associate laptops with productivity at all. They believe any time spent on technology can't be time spent being productive, which is just plain silly. Things have changed a lot since they were in college. 

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  • 01

    AITA for restricting my daughter's computer use?

    I am a 53 years old father and have a 19 year old daughter. She's in her second year of college vying for computer science, but still a pre-major as she finishes her core credits.
    via u/ComputerAITA

  • The dad in this story is a Gen Xer who doesn't believe that his daughter is spending 8-10 hours a day on her computer doing homework. While I'm sure not every solitary second spent on her laptop is productive, she's a computer science student after all. Where else would she be doing her work?

  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10527107840
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 03
    At home, she's been on her computer for an average of 10 or 8 hours a day when she doesn't have class or work. As soon as she comes home she logs on saying she has homework to do, but when I usually check in it looks like my daughter is playing a game and typing in chat. I don't
    via u/ComputerAITA
  • 04
    know that much about computers, but I don't understand why every assignment needs a computer or laptop. I also know she's interested in video games so I know she plays them from time to time.
    via u/ComputerAITA
  • 05
    6114480
    via Clastr Cloud Gaming

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 06
    I think she's been spending too much time on her computer so I put curfews on her usage and began taking her laptop at night to make sure she heads to bed instead of playing games. She's tried to make excuses to why she needs her computer but I don't
    via u/ComputerAITA
  • 07
    believe that absolutely every assignment needs a computer, else why would she still need to buy textbooks? And she's getting fatter by being online and sitting so much.
    via u/ComputerAITA
  • 08
    My wife and younger daughter are saying I'm being unreasonable but I don't understand how setting a limit to technology can be a bad thing in this age. AITA?
    via u/ComputerAITA
  • 09
    edit for common questions: She is not failing classes but her time spent with the family has drastically dropped. I pay for her schooling and paid for her computer AFTER she initially raised enough money to get it on her own (I bought it as a reward so she could keep the money).
    via u/ComputerAITA
  • 10
    She lives with us as her school is too close to reasonably use a dorm and I don't see a point in helping her get a place of her own to worry about bills when she must focus on school.
    via u/ComputerAITA
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    Cheezburger Image 10527115008
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 12
    UPDATE: In the time that passed, my daughters and I sat down for a discussion. My wife didn't want to sit in. She has seen the post and hasn't spoken to me extensively to it yet, other than saying after the discussion with my daughter's that she feels she has failed as a mother in letting the both of them feel like they are trapped at home. We have not talked further.
    via u/ComputerAITA
  • 13
    It turns out my 17 year old (Amy) found my post and showed it to her sister (Zoe) whom I originally posted about, and was much more emotional about it than her. They prepped arguments. They were both explaining they think I was out of line and disrespectful for multiple things in what I said
    via u/ComputerAITA
  • 14
    in both the OP and in the comments. After hearing what they had to say I agreed. They demanded I apologized and I did.
    via u/ComputerAITA
  • 15
    Zoe showed me programs on her laptop that she explained were either class sites, code work, and other related things. That and other comments from the previous post plus private conversations helped put things in perspective of how much workload is reliant on her computer and access to internet. I asked to see her grades and saw that some classes were hovering
    via u/ComputerAITA
  • 16
    in the 80-70% grade. Her university requires at least 75% to pass the class, so it was possible that she was failing. Zoe says that she has had less time to work on school due to work. I wanted to voice being disappointed but Amy interrupted me and asked me to please listen. She's visibly upset and not the kind to speak loudly, which was surprising.
    via u/ComputerAITA
  • 17
    Zoe confessed she started working to get herself money to buy things and save for things like recently, another laptop she can claim full ownership to, and for renting an apartment to move out to with Amy, with absolutely no financial help from me to get their own place to stay. They live at home, so that hasn't happened. With Zoe's current
    via u/ComputerAITA
  • 18
    job's payrate and the work she has at school anyway, it wouldn't have been possible to move, but the intent they had was hard to hear as it confirmed many comments from the previous post. For reference, Zoe started to work when she was 15. However, Zoe has made 0 effort to contribute to house bills pays for nothing such as the internet, the
    via u/ComputerAITA
  • 19
    car she uses right now, the water, heating, etc. She is an adult but hasn't paid for any utilities, speaking as if she were a tenant. I said if she made more contributions to bills then I would be less strict on rules.
    via u/ComputerAITA
  • 20
    Zoe spoke about her cousin. She has said that when their older cousin (whom my daughters are very close to) found out that she and Amy were never taught how to budget money, had a word with my wife and then taught my daughters how to save their money and to get things like credits cards. I've never known
    via u/ComputerAITA
  • 21
    about them having credit cards before. When Zoe asked her cousin how to start moving out and doing what she says are "adult things", their cousin gave her guidelines in what look for in apartments, the payment plans, or just starting smaller in getting a car. She quoted her cousin and said that she believes they both should have been taught these things much earlier. I don't
    via u/ComputerAITA
  • 22
    appreciate how their cousin (supposedly) spoke about how and when my daughters should be taught things but see their point.
    via u/ComputerAITA
  • 23
    We eventually came to a compromise. The previous living conditions (must stay in the house through college for help in moving out later) was dropped. Zoe no longer has her laptop or computer privileges taken away, but I am adamant that she has to be in bed by 1am or it'll be forced off. If she can lose 30lbs then
    via u/ComputerAITA
  • 24
    there will be no curfew. She gave me an attitude but eventually agreed to the conditions, which I thought were plenty fair. They ended saying they respect me, but don't love me. That's where we stand.
    via u/ComputerAITA
  • 25
    Now, my family has yet to have a meal together. My daughters go out together while my wife makes something for herself and leaves me to my own devices. Though it's not uncommon for us to not sit together, it feels like this is on purpose. I'm unsure where to go from here.
    via u/ComputerAITA

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laptops family drama entitled parents computers crazy things parents say parenting computer dad family daughter laptop Parenting Fail Father Parenting FAILS
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