'She only got engaged just to spite me': 28-year-old can't bear the thought of her younger sister getting engaged before her, proceeds to announce her engagement after dating her fiancé for one month

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Jul 21, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

Sibling rivalry, if left untreated, can often extend well into adulthood. If you and your sibling grew up in a competitive relationship, age and maturity can improve upon that dynamic, but only if both parties are willing to move past their insecurities and learn to accept one another fully. 

In elementary school, this toxic complex might manifest itself in jealousy regarding how many friends you have or how well you're doing in school. However, in adulthood, this can unfortunately apply to life's biggest milestones. For instance, if one chooses to get engaged and have a family, siblings should support and celebrate these moments for one another unconditionally. Sadly, for sibling dynamics of the more toxic variety, these milestones can allow for old wounds to resurface. 

A friend of mine, for instance, is convinced to this day that her sibling only got married out of fear that her younger sister would "achieve" that goal first, as if marriage was just an important box to check off in life. Here, we have a similar situation in which an older sister rapidly got engaged just so that she could beat her younger sister to it.

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    Cheezburger Image 10531777792
    via Unsplash+ (Meg Aghamyan)

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  • It's worth noting that the older sister was clearly insecure about the author's relationship with her boyfriend. So she retaliated by rushing into a relationship and getting engaged to this random guy after just one month of dating. Sure, she might have “achieved” the milestone of getting married first, but if you ask me, she'll probably reach the milestone of getting divorced first too.

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    Here's some important context: My sister (28f) recently got engaged to her now fiance. (28m). We only recently found out about the engagement even though they've been engaged for 2 months. Before their engagement they were only dating for a month or so.
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    When my sister announced her engagement we were all shocked to say the least but we congratulated her and we celebrated. However, she has now made it a point to stay
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    making fun of the fact that she got engaged before me (25f) even though I've been in a ldr with my bf (28m) for 4 years. In fact everyone was surprised that she got engaged before me. I've
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    told her multiple times that I'm not bothered that she got engaged before me since she is the older sister so it only makes sense.
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    Now here us where I might be TA. We were at her birthday dinner a few days ago. Once again at this birthday dinner she started the whole thing of how she got engaged before me. I was just
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    going to let it slide since it was her birthday dinner and her fiance was there and I don't really know him that well. However she then said that app they were
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    planning that if they found out that my bf was going to propose to me they were going up get engaged the day before just to beat me to it. As soon as I heard
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    that I lost it and told her that she's making it seem as though she only got engaged just to spite me. The mood turned sour and eventually we all went home.
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    My parents think I overreacted since according to my sister that comment was only a joke. So AITA for telling off my sister at her birthday dinner?
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    Unsavory-Breakf... • 15m ago Nope. Your B-Day isn't a blank check to be an ahle.
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    MystifiedByPeople • 15m ago Being the birthday girl should get you a little bit of slack, like getting a little dr_nk slack or blurting out something stupid and minor
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    slack. Telling your younger sister that you engaged a month after meeting someone to ensure that she wouldn't get engaged first is pretty major. NTA. She doesn't get that much slack.
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    Cheezburger Image 10531778048
    via Unsplash+ (Meg Aghamyan)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    thechaoticstorm 15m ago NTA Sounds like she has some serious Main Character Syndrome.
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    No one cares who gets engaged and when, except apparently her. This is a ridiculous thing to be competitive over.
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    If you do get engaged, don't invite her to the wedding unless she has a major attitude adjustment.
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    lamIrene 22m ago . You could have handled it better...snapping at her, in front of everyone, at her birthday dinner only made you look bad as most people likely saw it as coming out of nowhere. :\
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    She definitely s ks for what she's doing to you but sinking to her level has dragged you into the mud with her. ESH.
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    Had you remained quiet it would only have been her that looked bad. It's inevitable when people like your sister so blatantly try to make themselves shine at the expense of someone else.
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    CeeceeATL • 16m ago NTA - your sister is clearly competing with you over something in which there should be no competition. I would have said something too. Otherwise, she just would have continued with the unfunny 'joke'
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    simplyexistingnow ⚫ 1m ago Nta. You were just saying what everyone was thinking although I probably would have said something like that's a really weird reason
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    to make choices about your life but okay whatever makes you happy. Sh honestly my best decision in life for my second marriage
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    was getting married at the courthouse. It was like $100 total it was like 30 for the license and then $30 for the ceremony and then I got like. six or seven official copies. of our wedding certificate.
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    What was great though is the day that we did this wedding ceremony is the day that they filed the paperwork so we were able to get the official documents
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    that day without having to go to the courthouse more than twice. We could bring 10 people if we wanted and there were people dressed all the way from full wedding
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    dresses and tuxes all the way down to Everyday wear getting married. Some people had a full amount of guests others had no one and it was perfectly fine.
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family drama aita AITAH birthday family feud entitled people karma family engagement funny entitled people
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