19-year-old student, Matt, accuses his best friend of 'platonically cheating' after she plans a trip with other friends from her major in August: 'We’ve never travelled together and I've got two years on them'

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Emma Saven
Jul 22, 2025 7:00 PM EDT

Once a cheater, always a cheater?

But a 'platonic cheater', now that's something we haven't quite heard of before, I guess there's a first time for everything?

We understand that FOMO is a common part of life, especially as we enter into adulthood: We are forced to meet new people, watch friendships shift through highs and lows as we attempt to find our place in this ever-changing world. 

I remember my first year of college, as someone who had the same group of friends my whole childhood, the thought of making new friends who met those expectations was extremely daunting, yet equally exciting. 

There were many times I felt out of place, regardless of the fact that I consider myself a fairly confident person. But there were equivalent times where I felt on top of the world, as I got to witness other beautiful friendships grow from the roots. It's normal to feel possessive over new friendships, and even older ones, as there is a part of all of us that craves stability and the feeling of being chosen. However, college is a time for experiences that are bigger than one person. 

It's a time to branch out and allow your friends to do the same, without taking away from what the two of you share. 

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  • Is this friendship on the rocks?

    When a 19-year-old college student tells her uni-bestie, Matt, about an exciting trip she is planning with some friends from her major, he starts to rant, asking why she would spend so much time and money on people she's only known for a few months, calling her a ‘platonic cheater!’

    She thought it was a joke at first, but after he stopped replying to her texts, she began to wonder if this was a simple case of FOMO or perhaps something deeper.

  • 01
    "He said that it was weird how I put that much money and time aside for people I've only known since September❞
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    AITA for “platonically cheating” on my best friend?

    I'm in the middle of an ongoing argument with my best friend. My (f19) best friend (m19) and I have been close for 3 years. I have
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  • 03
    quite a large social circle but it has always been common knowledge that "Matt" is the person I am obviously fondest of.
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  • 04
    People know that, and it's no secret that we spend most of our time with each other. Things were absolutely fine until this week. I
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  • 05
    was invited on a 5 day camping trip with some of my course mates at college. We spend a lot of time together and wanted to
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  • 06
    celebrate the end of semester by saving up to go somewhere. For reference, Matt isn't part of this group because he does another
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    major. So it didn't really come up in conversation before this point because he hardly knows these people, and it didn't seem like a
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    big deal to me. The trip is scheduled for the start of August, and I told Matt at the start of this week that i was going. He went
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    silent and when I asked him what was the matter he said that it was "weird how I put that much money and time aside for people
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    September". I told him that's. ridiculous because we spend a lot of time together as a group and we're good friends. He still went
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    on to say that we've never travelled together and he's got "two years on them". Then he said it's like I'm a "platonic cheater". I
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    feel bad because my first instinct was to laugh a bit, because honestly I didn't expect him to come out with that. But then he
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    Cheezburger Image 10532538880
    via studioroman

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    hung up the phone and wouldn't answer my texts. I don't know what to do about this because I can't find it in me to apologise -
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  • 15
    I'm not a "cheater", and I feel like he's making me out to be the AH for having friends aside from him? To be honest I think the reason
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    we've never travelled alone is because it'd be a solo trip between two members of the opposite s x and frankly it'd feel like dating territory. It's just not
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    appropriate and I'd rather travel in a group, but Matt's friends. aren't my friends and my friends aren't his. It's not that I think he'd come onto me or anything but I
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    think that's the type of thing I'd rather reserve for a boyfriend. Btw this will be my first travelling experience done with friends
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    rather than family. So AITA for choosing to vacation with relatively new friends instead of my best friend of 3 years?
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  • 20
    Salty-Potato-843 Girl I think your friend likes you Imao. Why else would someone come up with "platonic cheater" give me a break
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  • 21
    Warm Willingness4937 Well, Matt is obviously into you and not telling you.
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  • 22
    Dry Cauliflower4562 NTA. Friends don't agree to exclusivity or any kind of monogamy, so you can't cheat. The lines are absolutely blurred between friend and romance and I think you need to clarify that with him going forward.
    via Dry_Cauliflower4562
  • 23
    Forsoothia NTA. This is the behavior of elementary school kids. Literally. I have two under 7 and this is kind of stuff they talk about. It's normal to have a lot of friends and you aren't "cheating" on him by hanging out with others.
    via Forsoothia
  • 24
    itsjudemydude_ NTA. He likes you and is experiencing classic crush-FOMO. Either way, he's acting out of line. When he cools down, if he doesn't apologize, put him in the dog house.
    via itsjudemydude_
  • 25
    Kylynara - NTA I think you should platonically dump him because platonic exclusivity isn't a thing and it's not possible to platonically cheat.
    via Kylynara

Tags

friendship university major drama possessive fomo boy-best-friend romance platonic friends cheating friendship-drama Travel new-friendships cheezcake one sided girl best friends savings college
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