Disorganized wife put husband's job on the line after her behavior causes him to miss important conferences on his work trip: ‘You're always making me late’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Aug 1, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

Are you an overpacker, an underpacker, or are you one of the few people on earth who always pack exactly what they need for their time away?

I am almost always an overpacker. I would much rather bring stuff that I don't need than regret leaving stuff that I do need at home. I will take a dozen pairs of shirts and pants to a 3-day vacation, will pack a whole first-aid bag with me, and even bring a book, though I haven't read anything that's not on my Kindle since 2023.

My husband is always annoyed by the fact that I get to a vacation with an already overweight bag, which then leads me to shove anything I buy into his suitcase, because he is (thankfully) an underpacker. Somehow, we work together perfectly, even if he does like to make snarky remarks about the state of our hotel room an hour after we check in.

That being said, if my husband ever tells me that he has actual problems with my packing habits, I will do anything in my power to ease his mind, which is, unfortunately, not something that can be said about the wife in the story below…

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10536424192
    via @monkeybusinessimages

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    AITAH for telling my wife she makes traveling no fun.

    So my wife (38f) and I (36m) have been together 8 years. We live in my home state of Arkansas, she is from San Diego.
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    Every year she wants to visit home, we used to fly but since we have a kid (2f) she now wants to drive.
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    I have no problem using all my vacation days for this, she lives here. Traveling is a pain because she overpacks.
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  • 05
    Used to fill my CX- 7 FULL, but work gave me a $900 car allowance and we used that to get a full size Surburban.
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  • 06
    This time she loaded THAT full. I mean front passenger to the ceiling so I can't see the mirrors full.
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    We didn't use hardly any of it. Every stop I carried everything into the hotel because she was afraid it would get stolen.
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  • 08
    It's 3 days each way. Got through it, told her she makes traveling miserable because she is also super late.
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  • 09
    Tell her 10am. She might arrive by noon. So every day we don't leave the hotel until 12, then she insists we drive until midnight.
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  • 10
    Ugh, unfun. Anyway. This weekend I was sent on a work conference. They got me a sweet hotel room, week at a nice resort.
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    Super excited. We were going to go and leave the baby. Day before she cancels my mom watching to bring our child.
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    Fills the suburban full, again. Mind you, it's my work trip. 5 days, 5 nights. Most of the stuff was just over packing.
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    She brought a tote of blankets. One of towels. Two of her clothes! Totes!! | told her she makes it miserable (the hotel always gets cluttered and full.
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    The night before we leave is always a mess trying to pack and her "organizing" stuff she brought that never gets used.
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    She freaked out, told me I just want to go hk up and cheat at these things (I invited here) and she is filing for a divorce.
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    Because I told her "your overpacking and insisting we fill every vehicle full and always being late makes me.miserable".. we were 3 hours late leaving to get to the conference.
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    So I missed the networking opening night which is where in my industry people tend to clic up afterwards to a degree.
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    Cheezburger Image 10536423936
    via fstop123

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    I missed going to the best vendor events, etc, because she insisted that I don't leave because she was overwhelmed with how messy the hotel room was.
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    (Mind you, it was all the stuff she brought, took out of totes, and never used, and the toddler then destroyed.
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  • 21
    AITAH? Edits 1. Yes I am involved in raising our child. I actually packed for our trip, I had one bag for baby to go to mom's (toys, diapers, food, etc).
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    A big bag but one large suitcase. I had a bag packed for wife and one for me. 2. Yes, she had ADHD. 3. She always says she doesn't want to do this, then trip comes and she does it.
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    4. I am not a cheater. She accused me of it last time I went solo. I am exhausted. If she left me I think I would be done with relationships, my own mental health is wrecked.
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    5. My boss wasn't mad, he found the whole thing hilarious when I told him. He skipped half of the conference himself. My job wasn't threatened, but to me it was.
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    6. I tried the whole packing thing for her and me. I have tried to just accept her issues, but it's gotten worse.
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    When we first got together it was she needed a large checked bag for a 2 day trip to Las Vegas. Now she needs an entire suburban for a week trip.
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    7. One of issues is the vehicle is so full. If it was just the back, I might be able to deal. But it's so full I can't even see the side mirror..
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    I've expressed how unsafe that is and she doesn't care just yells that I don't understand. 8. Yes she comes from a hoarder background.
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  • 29
    No Fix8103 NTA Personally, I think your wife is crazypants for wanting to drive the 20+ hours both ways between San Diego and Arkansas with a 2 year old
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    instead of flying. I've made that trip twice without kids and it was torture. I feel like she's making it harder for y'all to travel, not easier.
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  • 31
    The bottom line is that she went with you on a WORK trip, made you late, accused you of wanting to cheat, and threatened to divorce you. None of those things are okay OP.
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  • 32
    BulbasaurRanch Does she always threaten divorce so causally? Next time tell her "sure, I'll call the lawyer tomorrow and start that up" and see her
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    face drop at calling her stupid bluff. She sounds really annoying to travel with.
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  • 34
    ThrowRAevlcousins Why did you invite her? Especially after she canceled child care. "Since you canceled child care with my mom you can't come on this trip" If she leave you because
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    you go on a work trip your marriage is at the end already. She's doing this on purpose to sabotage your career.
    via ThrowRAevlcousins

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