‘Either break up, or leave me alone’: Pregnant woman’s father dates younger woman who wants children, he refuses so she tries to live vicariously through her, she puts boundaries

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Aug 9, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

Marriage is like a box of chocolates – chocolates that fade with time, that represent more than chocolate. Some are filled with caramel, they're sweeter than the others. Some are spoiled rotten and have flakey white dust accumulated on them. Some are just solid as a rock, and they're actually supposed to be like that. The point is that throughout the ebb and flow of years of marriage, you learn about yourself, your spouse, and life itself. There's no predictability for the future, but if you can rely on your spouse then it's already something. 

Throughout the years, you may feel like your relationship with your spouse is changing, and it is. It's something we rarely talk about in art or media, but marriage is a long and arduous road that should have change involved. 

In the story below, the protagonist is a pregnant woman. Her father is dating a younger woman who wants kids, but he's older and has already had children. Read the full story below. 

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  • 01

    AITA for telling my father and his girlfriend to either break up or leave me alone?

    "She wants to spend as much time as possible with my child"
    via pixelshot / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    For context, my father is dating a younger woman who openly wants to have kids. He has three adult children and, also openly, doesn't want more. Some time
    via u/dadsgf_throwaway

  • It can be so difficult to manage a relationship with the overarching pressure of children. Like a floating question mark above the couple at all times, no space can peacefully exist in silence without the elephant in the room blowing its nose of truth – that the couple will have to break up. 

  • 03
    ago, they decided to wait a few years to see if either of them would change their minds about. it, otherwise they'd break up. I told my father it was a bad idea, but he didn't care.
    via u/dadsgf_throwaway
  • 04
    I'm pregnant. This will be my and my husband's first baby, as well as the first grandchild on both sides, so we're all very excited.
    via u/dadsgf_throwaway
  • 05
    But my father's girlfriend has been extremely over-the-top. She takes every shot she can to try to get "involved" in my pregnancy.
    via u/dadsgf_throwaway
  • 06
    To give a few examples, she calls me almost every day with name suggestions or "parenting tips." Anytime I tell her and my father
    via u/dadsgf_throwaway
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    about something I'm planning for my baby, she feels the need to explain what she'd do or buy instead. She frequently asks me whether I'm having a boy or a
    via u/dadsgf_throwaway
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    girl, because apparently she has different shopping lists for both (we know the and name, but
    via u/dadsgf_throwaway
  • 09
    won't announce either until the baby is here). She has asked whether she can attend one of my ultrasounds to "see what it's like."
    via u/dadsgf_throwaway
  • 10
    Dealing with her has been very overwhelming. Even if she is just being caring, we were never even remotely close before my pregnancy, so she's been making me very uncomfortable.
    via u/dadsgf_throwaway
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    Cheezburger Image 10539182592
    via StockSnap from pixabay / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 12
    On Saturday, I stopped by my father's place to pick up some of my old stuff. When I got there, he was having an argument with his girlfriend. They said it had to do
    via u/dadsgf_throwaway
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    with my baby, so they explained it to me: my father's girlfriend wanted him to turn either the guest bedroom or the home office into a nursery, to make it
    via u/dadsgf_throwaway
  • 14
    easier for them to babysit my child. My father didn't want to get rid of either.
    via u/dadsgf_throwaway
  • 15
    I tried to be polite about it at first. I told them I wasn't planning on having them babysit, and I probably wouldn't use their hypothetical nursery when there
    via u/dadsgf_throwaway
  • 16
    was a perfectly good one in my place. But my father's girlfriend said they had been waiting so long for there to finally be a baby
    via u/dadsgf_throwaway
  • 17
    Cheezburger Image 10539182848
    via ppnmm from Getty Images Pro / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 18
    in the family, and she wanted to "spend as much time as possible” with my child.
    via u/dadsgf_throwaway
  • 19
    That's when I lost my patience. I said I understood they disagreed on having a baby, but that it wasn't my problem. So I told
    via u/dadsgf_throwaway
  • 20
    them to either break up or leave me alone, because I'm done dealing with this.
    via u/dadsgf_throwaway
  • 21
    The next day, my father called me. He said he understood I was frustrated and agreed that he agreed his girlfriend has been going too far, but argued that
    via u/dadsgf_throwaway
  • 22
    she's just excited and trying to help me, and I'm being ride to her for denying it so firmly. He's especially upset about what I said
    via u/dadsgf_throwaway
  • 23
    because his relationship is none of my business, and I had no right to comment on it.
    via u/dadsgf_throwaway
  • 24
    My husband's on my side, and so is my brother. My sister is pretty neutral. The more I think about it, the more mixed my feelings on this get. AITA?
    via u/dadsgf_throwaway
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