'She hates that he has stolen her spot next to me': Rescue cat howls all night after boyfriend moves in, but hopeful pawrent works toward a truce for cuddles all around

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    Background: I adopted my cat Milena (female, aprox. 6 y/o) about two years ago. She had been a stray her whole life of about five or six years, so it took a lot of time and effort to get her comfortable--But now she loves me and her home and is a total chatterbox!
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    Problem: Within the past four months, I started dating someone for the first time since I adopted Milena. He sleeps in bed with me, and although Milena loves him during the day, she HATES that he has stolen her spot next to me. So she screams and crawls all over him--not me--all night
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    long. And I mean ALL night long, I don't think she sleeps, that's how strong her sense of vengeance is. I feel horrible for it, but I've had no choice but to lock her outside the bedroom at night. New problem though: Now she sits outside the bedroom door and howls. All. Night. Long. My
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    partner insists that this is better than her crawling all over him, but it breaks my heart and I don't know what to do. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
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    Clarifying factors: I spend A LOT of time with Milena. She receives tons of love and attention. I've tried several times to play with her, but she's not interested, instead simply wanting to be pet and held. She has an assortment of blankets and pillows to make sure she is
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    comfortable throughout the day and anywhere in the apartment. She used to only get the "zoomies" once a night, where she howled and galloped around for a bit, but it never lasted for more than 30 minutes. She doesn't seem to get the spurt of energy anymore, probably because she spends most of it on screaming all night long.
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    smileycat007 Time for a king size bed!
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    Heron_They We have a cat tree in our bedroom for our kitties. Sometimes they sleep at the end of the bed or on the cat tree.
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    TheGirlwThePink... Add a bench at the bottom of the bed with her bed. Maybe a few beds. Or get a king size bed if you have the money. Or make a little extra square addition to the bed with a pet bed. It may take awhile but she'll get used to it
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    Everloner Locking her out isn't the solution here. Redirect her when she crawls over him by putting her to the foot of the bed, or on the pillow beside your head at the other side. She should get the message quickly. But all she knows now is that she has been
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    supplanted by this man. After years on the streets, it must have been hard for her to trust. You dont want to lose that trust.
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    mke75kate My solution for this problem was getting a bed that was one more size larger. Then the cat figured out a new spot to lay by me while still leaving room for the guy. In her mind the previous bed was "too small" so I went from a full size bed to a queen. If I would have had a queen, I would have gotten a king. :p
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    runawaydoctorate Has your partner tried establishing a relationship with your cat? Have him feed her some meals, pet her, play with her, etc. That might help.
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    Sofiwyn Switch spots with him so you're the one invading her space, not him.
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    Mistress Kittens I wonder if she wants to lay on that particular side of you, so maybe if you and your partner swapped sides, it might not interrupt kitty's routine as much?
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    Quivver119 You really gotta ignore her, tbh. I know we like to say that our pets run the house but in actuality they don't. Luckily for me, my cat loves my man, but the three of us in the bed overwhelms me. Sometimes I kick the cat out the room even when my man
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    isn't over just so I can sleep. He'll scratch and yell outside the door but I can resist the urge to go to him. I know it hurts your heart but you gotta train your cat that the behavior isn't acceptable.
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    jazbaby25 Can you get a bigger bed? Or put her in a cat bed and put that in between you guys?
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    Fortuna Redux I was about to be mad at the new partner for kicking her out but her being the one trying to kick him out is kinda hilarious ngl.
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    Maybe if he and kitty have some more one on one bonding time he will grow on her? My gf took over breakfast bikkies and now cats cuddle with her more than me in the mornings at this point Imao

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