30-year-old girlfriend yells at boyfriend's cat after cat won't stop hissing at her, boyfriend confronts girlfriend in defense of his feisty feline: ‘I don't get where it's coming from’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Aug 17, 2025 10:00 PM EDT

Most pet owners pay a lot of attention to how their pets act around other people. If your cat is generally a friendly feline who loves other people, but they refuse to get anywhere close to one of your friends, maybe that implies a thing or two about said friend. Animals have a strong intuition about humans, and if their gut is telling them that a certain human cannot be trusted, we would not recommend ignoring them.

So what should one do if their cat refuses to trust the person they have been dating for the past two years? 

That is the problem presented in the story below. This cat owner and his girlfriend have been living together for almost two years, and over time, the cat became hostile towards the girlfriend. Now, they can't be in the same room together without the cat hissing at the girlfriend, and it is starting to get on the girlfriend's nerves.

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  • After one tense encounter, the hissy relationship between the cat and the girlfriend caused a fight between the couple, which might affect their relationship altogether. Scroll down to read the full tale…

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  • 01
    A hissing cat and a title: "My boyfriend got angry at me for yelling at his cat"
    via hellosilver m

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    My boyfriend’s cat constantly hisses at me, and it’s causing fights between us. Am I overreacting?

    Hi Reddit, This is my first post here, and I'm not sure if I'm the one overreacting. I (30s, F) live with my boyfriend (30s, M). We've
    via Nervous-End-4623
  • 03
    been together for about 2.5 years, living together for 1.5 of those years. He has a cat. At first, everything was fine, I
    via Nervous-End-4623
  • 04
    petted her, she seemed okay with me. But over time, she became hostile toward me. Now, the cat constantly hisses at me. When I walk
    via Nervous-End-4623
  • 05
    by, sit on the couch, clean, feed her or sometimes even when I'm literally doing nothing but just being on my phone. I don't
    via Nervous-End-4623
  • 06
    do anything to provoke her, but she'll hiss for no reason. It honestly startles me sometimes, and after months of this, I've grown really annoyed.
    via Nervous-End-4623
  • 07
    I've had cats before, and in my job I regularly visit clients who have cats and dogs. I've never had this issue with any other cat,
    via Nervous-End-4623
  • 08
    ever. This is the only one that has consistently hissed at me. I admit that when it happens, I sometimes react
    via Nervous-End-4623
  • 09
    by saying "stop" or "shut up." Yesterday, after she hissed at me again, I snapped and yelled "Geez! shut the f up." My
    via Nervous-End-4623
  • 10
    boyfriend got angry at me for yelling at his cat, which led to a big fight. I told him he either has to accept that I'll sometimes lose my
    via Nervous-End-4623
  • 11
    patience, or find another girlfriend who won't. So now I'm wondering: • Am I the a hle for yelling at his cat?
    via Nervous-End-4623
  • 12
    A cat and a man touching noses
    via 1001slide

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 13
    ToSAhri Kind of bizarre for a cat to just become hostile over time o-0 No Ah les Here as long as your loss of patience remains at outburts of "shut up"
    via ToSAhri
  • 14
    Nervous-End-4623 OP Yeah, it's really strange to me too. I honestly don't know what happened. From the outside, someone might think I've mistreated her, but I never have. I've never hit her or even tried to force myself on her. Most of the time when she
    via Nervous-End-4623
  • 15
    hisses, I just ignore it, but sometimes it really startles me and I get annoyed. I don't go out of my way to interact with her anymore. She stopped wanting me to pet her, so I don't insist. I just do the basics: feed her, clean
    via Nervous-End-4623
  • 16
    when needed, and mind my own business. Still, she hisses randomly, even when I'm not doing anything to her. Some of our friends/family joke that she's just "jealous" because she was here first and now she has to share attention, but I'm not sure that's a real explanation. She's also a shelter cat, and
    via Nervous-End-4623
  • 17
    originally came as a pair with a male cat. He d d a while ago, so now it was just her and my boyfriend. Maybe that plays a role, I don't know. Either way, it really confuses me and yeah, it does annoy me sometimes because I just don't get where it's coming from.
    via Nervous-End-4623
  • 18
    Either Management813 ESH. It's sounds like the cat is jealous of your bf's attention he gives you. You for yelling over hissing. Your bf for fighting over yelling instead of just asking you to stop yelling.
    via Either_Management813
  • 19
    TurnoverLucky4376 If you yell at the cat, you'll make it worse over time. If I was the bf, I would break up with you. Mainly, because no one should be hostile towards an animal. YTA.
    via TurnoverLucky4376
  • 20
    Nervous-End-4623 OP Yeah, I get what you mean. I agree I probably shouldn't shout, it's just that sometimes it really comes out as a reflex when she suddenly hisses at me. It startles me, and my immediate reaction
    via Nervous-End-4623
  • 21
    is to blurt out "stop" or "shut up." Most of the time I ignore it, but I admit sometimes I slip. And you're right about my boyfriend too, instead of us fighting over it, maybe it would help more if we talked calmly about how to handle it together.
    via Nervous-End-4623

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