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AITAH for refusing to lend my friend cash while I save for a house?
Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
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Boundary equals betrayal to people who benefit from your flexibility. They will call it heartless so they do not have to call it what it is, which is unsustainable. You did not reject a person. You declined a transfer request from your future to their present. The math does not apologize.
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Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
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Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
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Hold the line. Goals are not cute slogans. They are decisions stacked over time, often in silence, often while other people label it selfishness because sacrifice looks impolite when you are used to being rescued. Buy the house. Let the group chat simmer. Real friends clap when the key turns. The rest can Venmo each other the moral high ground.
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‘I thought she would understand where I was coming from. Instead, she snapped’: 26-year-old woman refuses her friend’s loan request from her house savings, gets blasted as selfish
Saving for a house is a full time job with no HR department and the benefits package is not spending money on other people's emergencies. You cut travel, cut takeout, cut fun, and now someone wants you to cut your future too. The ask was not a cup of sugar. It was a sledgehammer to your timeline from a friend with a history of treating IOUs like compostable plastics that vanish when the weather gets warm. You said no like a sane person guarding the only thing keeping you afloat. She called it selfish like your discipline is a personal insult. Then came the group chat performance, a thread with the volume dial turned to martyr, and the silent audience that always makes people think silence means agreement. It does not. It usually means everybody has rent due and a headache.
This is the part people hate to admit. Money reveals the relationship. Some friends want support. Some want access. When the answer is no, the reaction tells you which one you had.
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