‘I’m just as capable of taking care of my kids as you': Wife refuses to allow husband to look after their kids, demands he ‘makes himself useful’ every time he goes near them, he asks for divorce

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Aug 26, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

We often hear wives complaining about their husbands not being involved enough in their children's lives, but rarely do we hear wives wishing their husbands would be less involved, especially when all the husbands want to do is spend more time with the kids.

Yet that is the case of the family in the story below. All the dad wants is to bond with his children, but he is constantly met with pushback from his wife. She simply does not want him anywhere near his children, and she refuses to explain why.

The situation reached a boiling point when she demanded that he give the kids to her parents while she was hospitalized, refusing to let him take care of them while she couldn't. This led the frustrated dad to demand a divorce, seeing as it is the only way he could form any connection with his kids. This demand was not welcomed by the wife, to say the least…

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10545829888
    via PIKSEL

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    WIBTA if I divorce my wife because she does not want me actively involved in raising our children?

    My wife (31f) and I (32m) have been together since college and we've been married for 7 years.
    via Malkxixt
  • 03
    We have three children together and I am sick of either having to step back and let her raise the kids almost as a single mom or fight with her because I did something with our children, even something as simple as feeding them.
    via Malkxixt
  • 04
    But that's where I'm at.
    via Malkxixt
  • 05
    She wasn't like this when our oldest was born.
    via Malkxixt
  • 06
    It started when she was pregnant with our twins.
    via Malkxixt
  • 07
    She would always tell me to tidy or run some errands when I wanted to spend time with our child.
    via Malkxixt
  • 08
    Then she'd keep him by her side the entire day or she'd go off somewhere if I said we should all spend the day together and focused on our oldest.
    via Malkxixt
  • 09
    But when the twins came it was worse.
    via Malkxixt
  • 10
    Every time I went to feed or change a baby she was telling me to go back to bed or to run to the store for something.
    via Malkxixt
  • 11
    Whenever she caught me holding and doing anything with one of our kids it was like I was committing a crime.
    via Malkxixt
  • 12
    When I'd ask her what the issue was she said there was nothing but I should just make myself useful.
    via Malkxixt
  • 13
    Even if I was doing that.
    via Malkxixt
  • 14
    One time she was delayed on the phone talking to her sister so I put our oldest to bed and got the twins fed.
    via Malkxixt
  • 15
    She freaked out and yelled at me for doing it without her.
    via Malkxixt
  • 16
    I told her it wasn't like I went off schedule and she was busy.
    via Malkxixt
  • 17
    She said that wasn't the point.
    via Malkxixt
  • 18
    Then came the fights about me trying to be with the kids instead of working or running errands.
    via Malkxixt
  • 19
    When I took time off I would make sure I got time with the kids and she'd be ready for a fight and if I didn't let a fight happen she'd yell at me anyway.
    via Malkxixt
  • 20
    Whenever I didn't push through she'd find a way to keep the kids from me.
    via Malkxixt
  • 21
    I told her it bothered me and she said it was all in my head.
    via Malkxixt
  • 22
    Another time she accused me of trying to hog the kids even though I hadn't been home all day.
    via Malkxixt
  • 23
    She hated me babywearing.
    via Malkxixt
  • 24
    Father Playing with Daughter at Home
    via Stel Antic

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 25
    I was screamed at for picking the kids up from her parents house one day.
    via Malkxixt
  • 26
    She was at an appointment and I was getting out of work so I thought it made sense.
    via Malkxixt
  • 27
    But she told me she decided to leave them with her parents so I should respect that and I told her I was just as capable of taking care of them as her.
    via Malkxixt
  • 28
    She was hospitalized briefly a couple of months ago and that's when I reached the point of like f this we should divorce.
    via Malkxixt
  • 29
    I took some days off work so I could be with the kids and she kept telling me to go back to work and let the kids stay with her parents until she got home.
    via Malkxixt
  • 30
    And she was screaming at me while she was in the hospital because I had the kids.
    via Malkxixt
  • 31
    She sent her parents to try and take them off me twice.
    via Malkxixt
  • 32
    When she recovered I told her this couldn't continue and if this was the way things would be we should divorce and she screamed and said I would be an AH to destroy our family and break up our kids stability.
    via Malkxixt
  • 33
    Even my own parents told me I should find a way to make it work.
    via Malkxixt
  • 34
    But she won't even sit down and talk to me, therapy is out of the question on her part and I don't want the kids to see us fight every time I interact with even one of them.
    via Malkxixt
  • 35
    WIBTA to divorce?
    via Malkxixt
  • 36
    jrm1102 NTA - but tbh, she does need therapy badly But if you want to divorce you should really document this behavior and get your sh together because shes going to go for full custody.
    via jrm1102
  • 37
    Malkxixt OP I have some stuff already documented. A lot of texts and voice messages that were sent. And I wrote a log while she was in the hospital about specific incidents.
    via Malkxixt
  • 38
    Beneficial-Sort4795 NTA, only way your kids are getting stability is if you separate. Possibly if you take full custody. What she's doing is parental alienation and if you document it all well, she'll get blasted for it in family court.
    via Beneficial-Sort4795

  • If my dad told my mom he wanted to be more involved with raising me, she would have been over the moon, which further proves to me that something is wrong with the wife above.

    What do you think? Let us know in the comments below.

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family drama aita baby kids mother siblings wife reddit story parenting husband babysitting divorce family Reddit women parents children Father
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