Woman leaves nephew's birthday party in tears, after discovering sister-in-law baked her secret chocolate cake recipe, claiming she "robbed" her, family tells SIL to apologize for purposely stealing recipe: 'I had ruined something that belonged to her'

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Aug 27, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

At what point does one stop treating 'secret' recipes like state secrets? No, Margaret, the world will not end if Eloise has your blueberry muffin recipe, no need to throw fists or report it on the Golden Grannies group chat! We can fully acknowledge the special tradition of passing down family recipes, but do sister-in-laws not count as family? We've heard sister-in-laws can sometimes hold a competitive streak, especially when it comes to 'No, my mommy is the best cook,' but is it truly worth ruining your nephew's birthday party over a little chocolate and cherry cake recipe? 

Well, this sister-in-law says absolutely! After discovering her sister-in-law had baked her famous cake for her nephew's birthday, she throws a fit! She's been 'robbed' and this was obviously some type of way to steal all the spotlight, right? There are one hundred different cake flavors and she just had to choose the cake that you're praised for….How did she even find it? Watching hours of YouTube videos? Pathetic…at least according to her. 

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  • But this mother sees no problem with baking a ‘family recipe’ for her son's birthday. What was she supposed to do after politely asking for the recipe and being denied it? So she took matters into her own hands, and did some reverse engineering to ensure her son has a delicious birthday cake, what entitled person would be upset with that…? Her sister-in-law, that's who.

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    Children celebrating at a birthday party
    via Vlada Karpovich

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    Aita for finding my SIL's recipe and using it?

    My SIL makes a delicious chocolate cake with cherries. It always looked perfect, like something you would find on
    via Altruistic-cake-79
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    Instagram. So when she made it recently for my MIL's birthday, I asked her for the recipe. She said no. Nothing more.
    via Altruistic-cake-79
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    Well, okay. When I got home, I started searching for similar recipes on Google. It took me over two hours, but I finally found
    via Altruistic-cake-79
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    a YouTube channel where someone was recreating old recipes that used to be printed on food. One of them was a recipe
    via Altruistic-cake-79
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    for chocolate cake with cherries, and the end result was very similar to what SIL was making. I tried it. It tasted very similar but
    via Altruistic-cake-79
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    something still was off. Then I did a few more experiments until I finally got a taste that was 99% similar.
    via Altruistic-cake-79
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    So, this time it was my son's birthday. He's a fan of this cake too, so last year I asked my SIL to make it, but this year I managed do to it myself.
    via Altruistic-cake-79
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    Chocolate and caramel cake with cherries
    via Patricio Ledeill

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    My SIL was one of the last people to arrive, when the cake was already on the table, and... when she saw it, she immediately went
    via Altruistic-cake-79
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    crazy. Like, I'm not even joking, she literally started screaming at me "what's that supposed to mean?!" and she accused me of
    via Altruistic-cake-79
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    robbing her. I told her I simply found the recipe online and used it. She told me she didn't believe me and started screaming that I
    via Altruistic-cake-79
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    had ruined something that belonged to her, that the cake was definitely bad, etc. My FIL literally had to calm her down and help her get home because she was on the verge of crying.
    via Altruistic-cake-79
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    The rest went quite peacefully, luckily my son was with his friends in the garden when it happened so he didn't see the
    via Altruistic-cake-79
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    worst of it, only the moment when my SIL was leaving with FIL. But after birthday, many people started writing to me saying I did it on purpose, that I was being mean and that I should apologize to my SIL.
    via Altruistic-cake-79
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    Crying woman being comforted by man
    via pixelshot

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    readyforwine The way you got the recipe makes it fair in my mind. If it's a secret recipe that is handed down then yeah it's theirs. But you didn't steal her cookbook or anything. You YouTubed and experimented. Reverse engineering is a thing and this isn't an intellectual property issue with actual money on the line. It's a cake recipe.
    via readyforwine
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    RantyMcThrowaway Really? Many people started writing to you for baking a cake? I wish I lived in the world that some of y'all conjure sometimes, sounds way more interesting.
    via RantyMcThrowaway
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    Witty_Jello_8470 While I think that your SIL is being ridiculous, a little nagging voice in my brain tells me that you did it on purpose.
    via Witty_Jello_8470
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    JoyReader0 Just send them all the YouTube link, saying that you used that and tweaked it a bit, and everybody with an internet connection and an oven can do the same thing.
    via JoyReader0
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    MediumDrink ESH - Obviously SIL was completely over the top and out of line. However, why did you need to make the exact same Chocolate cherry cake she is known for? Kind of suspect imho. There are a million kinds of cake Out there, bake a different one and let SIL have her thing.
    via MediumDrink
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    EastPirate6505 ΝΤΑ You didn't steal it from her. You didn't rob her. You used a publicly available recipe (that the world has access to) and tweaked it to suit yours and your son's tastes.
    via EastPirate6505
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    yourmommasfriend You were petty...so was she...its a cake..not a national secret
    via yourmommasfriend

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family drama chocolate cake secret copy cat drama birthday youtube sister-in-law recipe attention askreddit cherries Party memebase family Reddit crying children
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