Nanny asks for a $5 raise after working with a family for 2 years, then she burns a bridge when the parents counteroffer with a pay cut: 'Mom thinks she's being savvy'

Author image for Jesse Kessenheimer
Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Aug 26, 2025 1:00 PM EDT

After two years of hard work going above and beyond for a family of four, this nanny had had it up to her gills with the extra labor. Taking on tasks like deep-cleaning and folding laundry, she was by far the best nanny in the biz, and while she was only making a measly $25/hour, she put her head down and got to her work. However, now she's fed up with the expectations and hopes to ask for a raise that would reward her work ethic, but instead, she was met with disloyal employers, ungrateful parents, and a pay cut. 

Oh, you want a raise? How about getting demoted instead? 

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  • Cheezburger Image 10546551808
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Asked for a raise after 2 years with a family, instead 'offered' me less than I already make. Help Needed
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  • I've been nannying for a family for over 2 years at $25/hr for their toddler. A couple months ago they had a new baby, and over the past month they slowly started slipping the baby into my care without any conversation about pay.
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  • On top of caring for their toddler and now a newborn, they also have me deep clean the house, scrub bathrooms, fold and put away everyone's laundry, and organize cabinets/drawers, basically housekeeper + nanny all in one.
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  • Two weeks ago, I finally brought it up politely and said I was happy to take care of both kids, but that my standard rate for two children is $30/hr. The mom replied that she'd keep it in mind moving forward, so I thought it was fine. Then
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  • last week, she canceled on me saying they were "sick" — but now I don't even believe that was true. I think it was just a stall while they shopped around for someone else.
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  • Cheezburger Image 10546552576
    via pixelshot

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Eventually she came back and said $30/hr "just isn't something they can swing financially" because of buying a house. Then she added that they'd found someone else willing to watch both kids for $20/hr, and offered to let me take that rate before moving forward with them if I wanted to continue working.
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  • What frustrates me most is that they didn't even attempt to negotiate what they thought would be fair - they jumped straight to saying they'd actually lower my rate. And instead of being honest that they were looking for someone else, they wasted weeks
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  • canceling and lining up a replacement behind my back. That also took away my chance to fairly look for other work with notice. So after 2 years of loyalty, caring for their toddler, their new baby, AND
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  • cleaning their house... instead of giving me a raise, they offered me less than I already make. I feel completely disrespected and blindsided. I haven't replied to their last message yet because I'm honestly just so frustrated
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  • and hurt by the way they went about this. Maybe the price increase was too much, but I would have preferred they be upfront about that when I asked, or at least given me the courtesy of notice so I could look for a different job.
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  • Has anyone else dealt with something like this? How did you handle it without burning bridges?
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  • Despite her longstanding bond with their two young children, these parents decided that their hardworking nanny was no longer fit to be employed by their family. But what they didn't realize was that as they stabbed this nanny in the back, they were simultaneously burning a bridge that could never be rebuilt. Because who wants to work for bosses who belittle your efforts and respond to your raise request with a pay cut? 

    Nobody.

  • Extra-Interaction1 Maybe it's time to move on, you know your worth and after two years they should've at least considered or negotiated with you.
    via Extra-Interaction1
  • AvailableHospital823 ⚫ Time to find another family. Deep cleaning a house? Thats a no no. And They should have discuss that before baby arrived about increase pay. I think, you'll be able to find a better family. Wish you the best.
    via AvailableHospital823
  • SomeoneSomewhere... They are severely underpaying you. I get maid service that just comes for 2 hours and does the cleaning you described and they get $200 for those two hours. Sometimes they finish within an hour.
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  • icecrusherbug. Thank them for the years of work. Smile and move on. You are worth more than this treatment or payment. They may or may not figure that out after you are happily working for someone else.
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  • You can counter with, I have found an offer to watch one child for 35 dollars an hour with no housework. If you wish to retain me, my cost is now 40 dollars an hour for two children with no housework.
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  • Grouchy_ Move on. Mom thinks she's being savvy telling you she found someone for $20 an hour. "She wants $30 an hour? Let's see how she likes $20"
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  • If she found someone (after one day of searching) to watch two babies and clean for $20 an hour, she would have hired them on the spot. It's an insult to go back to you with an even lower rate
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  • Tell you wish her all the best with her new nanny And if she comes back with, "we'll consider the $30" (or insults you with $28 or $27) say "Why would you offer me more money when you have someone who will work for less?"
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  • And if she tries to blow smoke up your bat, "but you're so wonderful", say "I've been offered a job for $35 an hour with no cleaning. If you can match that, I'll consider staying and doing childcare only for $35.
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  • Otherwise, I'm going with my best offer. And I'm sure you'll be happy saving all the extra money with your new nanny" If she doesn't want to pay $30, she can pay $35 You'll find something better.
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  • And she'll learn an important lesson in negotiating She thinks she has you over a barrel. It's the other way around. YOU have all the power. You'll find a new job long before she finds a new nanny. And she'll be paying more because no one will do that job for 25 an hour
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  • Her not being able to afford her new house isn't your problem And if she does give you $35 to keep you, tell her you expect to be paid when she has a sick day
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salary babysitter employee work working raise nanny employer babysitting pay dad nannies mom paycut parents
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