Dad scolds aunt for buying her 12-year-old niece 2 pairs of glasses and contact lenses because he can't afford them for her or his 4 stepchildren: 'He’s sick of me and Haley rubbing her stuff in her step-siblings' faces.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Sep 2, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

Everything in life is so expensive. I never realized how much the things I regarded as basic necessities would cost me until I became an adult and started paying for them myself. The most exorbitantly expensive item was contact lenses. I had been wearing daily contact lenses for so long, and I had no idea that a year's supply cost around $500 after insurance. I spent a year reusing my last month of daily contacts until they became so physically uncomfortable that I couldn't wear them anymore. That proved to be a little too dangerous, so the next year I bit the bullet and simply purchased the $500 daily contacts. This year, I made the best decision I could've possibly made by opting for monthly contacts instead of Dailies. I understand why my parents thought dailies were the optimal choice for a 12-year-old, but now that I'm 25, I think I can handle the responsibility of keeping track of contacts for a month straight. 

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement

  • If I were really frugal, I would just wear glasses like a normal person. Many people cannot afford new glasses or contacts every year. The young girl in this story would be one of those people if it weren't for her aunt, who was generous enough to bless her with two new pairs of glasses and contact lenses. This gift made her father angry, despite the fact that he couldn't afford to get her these necessities herself.

  • Happy smiling girl with dental braces and glasses
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Am I the bad guy for buying my niece 2 pairs of glasses and letting her get contacts?

    I have a 12 year old niece, Haley. Haley lives with her dad, stepmom, and 4 younger step siblings (2 boys 2 girls, don't know the exact ages but they seem to be between 5 and 10). Her mom passed when she was 3.
    via u/Ok_Barracuda_5060
  • Haley's dad and stepmom are not well off. They live in a 3 bedroom house so Haley shares a room with her stepsisters. The kids get 1 pair of shoes, reuse school supplies until they're falling apart, and if their clothes still fit they don't get new school clothes.
    via u/Ok_Barracuda_5060
  • A persons feet in white shoes on a stone surface
    via Bruno Guerrero

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I am doing a lot better but I refuse to help him with money because if I give him money with the direct instructions to get Haley some decent shoes or a nice jacket I expect the money to be used on Haley, not split between all 5 kids. He also dislikes me because he blames me for cps investigating him and
    via u/Ok_Barracuda_5060
  • his wife for leaving the kids home alone every day. Haley stays with me after school and sleeps over a few nights a week because I won't drop her off if theres not an adult present and I told her not to get on the bus under any circumstances so they can't tell her I wanted her to take the bus home that day.
    via u/Ok_Barracuda_5060
  • Haley and 2 of her step siblings needed glasses. Nobody was able to take Haley for her eye exam and to get the glasses so they asked me to take her and gave me $100 with the instructions to get the cheapest pair we can find.
    via u/Ok_Barracuda_5060
  • I was driving Haley to the eye doctor and she told me she really wanted contacts but her dad said no. I talked to the receptionist and they were able to get her in for a contact fitting that day. After
    via u/Ok_Barracuda_5060
  • her contact appointment we checked out the glasses and she found 2 pairs that she really liked so I told her to get both. I took her back after school a few days later and picked up a few boxes of contacts.
    via u/Ok_Barracuda_5060
  • Box of contact lenses and their accessories
    via Katerina

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Her new glasses came in a few days ago and she loves them but her dad is furious about the glasses, then he found out about the contacts (I guess Haley was keeping them in her backpack and never told him about it) so he told her she gets to keep one pair of glasses and everything else has to stay at my house because he's sick of me and Haley rubbing her stuff in her step siblings faces.
    via u/Ok_Barracuda_5060
  • Haley responded by packing most of her stuff and walking to my house. Now she's refusing to go home. CPS came for another investigation and was told by the kids that Haley doesn't live there anymore, which is not helping my BIL's case. Now my bil wants me to make Haley come back and
    via u/Ok_Barracuda_5060
  • stop spoiling her so she won't rub it in her siblings faces anymore (her rubbing it in their faces means she put both pairs of glasses on her dresser but it wasn't fair because the other kids could see it). AITA for getting her contacts and 2 pairs of glasses
    via u/Ok_Barracuda_5060
  • umbreonskittles NTA. Glasses and contacts are medical devices needed to see. You are a great aunt for making sure your niece is taken care of.
    via u/umbreonskittles
  • chocolatechipwizard You realize that your brother-in-law and his wife are collecting a Social Security Survivor Benefit check for caring for your niece, right? If she's staying with you, he should NOT be claiming that check.
    via u/chocolatechipwizard
  • Serious-Score-2210 This should be much higher. The amount of people that have kids they hate for financial benefits is disgusting.
    via u/Serious-Score-2210
  • BerneDoodleLover24 NTA - Can Haley live with you?
    via u/BerneDoodleLover24
  • Ok_Barracuda_5060 OP Yes
    via u/Ok_Barracuda_5060
  • Organic_Start_420 Take her on permanently op. NTA. They can't afford apparently not even the other 4 kids
    via u/Organic_Start_420
  • No-Stress-7034 I'd talk to a family lawyer about getting full custody of Haley. I'd also document every single time that you go to drop off Haley only to find there is no adult present in the house. Heck, I'd consider calling
    via u/No-Stress-7034
  • CPS every time you go to the home and there's no adult present, since the stepsiblings are way too young to be left home alone. I know judges will sometimes take into account the wishes of the child, though Haley may be too young for that to be given much weight. However, given the CPS issues, it may be possible.
    via u/No-Stress-7034
  • Forsaken_Pick3201 Has CPS been to see you and Haley?
    via u/Forsaken_Pick3201
  • Ok_Barracuda_5060 OP Multiple times
    via u/Ok_Barracuda_5060
  • No_Quote_9067 And what has the out come been? Why is she still with the father? I do understand what the father is saying about each child getting the same thing. That way everyone one os equal and not only is this going against the father but it is probably also creating a lot of tension and separation. You are clearly providing things for your niece that they can't have. I don't think your are an AH or that you are wrong. I feel badly the other 4 kids who don't have an aunt to buy them things.
    via u/No_Quote_9067
  • I get it from your side as well she is the last connection you have to your sister. How can you not want to give her everything you know your sister would want her to have. It's not her fault that her stap mother doesn't have enough money to support them properly. It might also seem as if the financial drain on her father because of the step kids is really ruining the quality of life she would ahve had if your sister was alive. Is she getting survivor benefits from SS ? If she is I would ask for
    via u/No_Quote_9067
  • Ok_Barracuda_5060 OP They've been connected to resources and were given 6 months to get their sh together. If it doesn't happen at the end of the 6 months they'll remove the kids.
    via u/Ok_Barracuda_5060
  • No_Quote_9067 Would you take them all or just your niece ? Besides lack of financial resources is the house dirty low on food. The standard things they look for. It sounds like your niece is getting punished because her father has embarked on a new life with a new woman. Which is not your nieces fault . It's bad enough she lost her mother. Now she is forced to do without because of him taking on responsibilities that would not be lowering her standards of living. I am sure as well that your niec
    via u/No_Quote_9067
  • It makes one think about college. Are the lack of finances going to hinder her in going to the best possible school. Is she going to lose out on school trips, extra curricular. The pattern you describe about no new clothes, one pair of shoes, using school supplies till there is nothing left, just the entire Duggar frugalness is nothing she should have to suffer through. Know that your sister is happy knowing her daughter has you. Too bad the other children don't have an aunt like you
    via u/No_Quote_9067
  • Ok_Barracuda_5060 OP I would only take Haley. I'm sure the other kids dad or his family can take them. Her college will be paid for and I make sure she's able to go on field trips, and explore extracurricular activities. I also take her shopping so she has some nice clothes and shoes, although most of them were kept at my house until she outgrew them.
    via u/Ok_Barracuda_5060

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

tweens family drama contacts poor step siblings kids stepchild glasses bad parenting niece contact lenses bad parents widower aunt dad family brother in law
Scroll Down For The Next Article