Vegan woman excluded from friend's BBQ because it centers around meat, she finds out it was kept secret from her and feels left out: 'You were wrong to exclude her'

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Sep 5, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

I remember a few years ago the word vegan felt like either a charged personal attack, or like you were about to get an hour lecture on humanity and morals. Now, people have hopefully forgotten the intense draw to fight for animal rights when someone is simply trying to enjoy their meal. But in this story, it's not about animal rights or people who are bent out of shape about what other people eat. It's about two friends who argue about the value of friendship in a way. The protagonist is having a BBQ, he's inviting tons of people, but it's all around cooking meats. He has a good friend who's vegan but chooses not to invite her because he fears she'll feel left out. She finds out he's having the BBQ and ends up feeling left out anyway. 

When I was in high school, a friend of mine had a bunch of our friends over for a "boy's night," and of course, I wasn't invited. It doesn't feel good to be excluded, even if the theme is about something outside of you. 

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  • 01

    AITA for Not Inviting My Vegan Friend to a BBQ?

    Man BBQing meat
    via nd3000 / Canva

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (30M) recently hosted a BBQ for some friends at my house. One of my close friends, who's vegan, wasn't invited, and now she's upset with me. Here's the thing:
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  • 03
    the BBQ was all about grilling different kinds of meats, and I knew there wouldn't be much for her to eat. I didn't want her to feel
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  • 04
    left out or uncomfortable, so I figured it was best not to invite her to this particular gathering.
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  • 05
    She found out about it through another friend and confronted me, saying she felt excluded and that I should have invited her
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  • 06
    anyway and offered some vegan options. Now, some friends are saying I was wrong to exclude
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  • 07
    her, but others think I was just being considerate of her dietary choices.
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  • 08
    AITA for not inviting my vegan friend to the BBQ?
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  • 09
    xepesgirl NTA, It was a meatcentric event, she doesn't eat meat or have anything to do with it.
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  • 10
    Not everyone gets invited to everything. It's a basic concept that children are supposed to learn.
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  • 11
    For everyone saying you could have tossed a veggie patty on the grill for her, no, you couldn't because it
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  • 12
    would be contaminated by the meat. Even if she had no moral objection to it, it could still make her sick.
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  • 13
    Meat on a BBQ
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 14
    UsualConcept6870 NTA Had she say "I would have brought my food" you'd be
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  • 15
    assy, but she said you should have added more work to make food just for her. Hol no
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  • 16
    Besides, everybody does not have to be invited to everything, is she also going to be upset if she can't swim and then is not invited to go swimming?
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  • 17
    Fragrant Spray "And offered some vegan options". For me, that's what would get you off the hook of being the
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  • 18
    Vegan
    via ChrisSteer / Canva

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 19
    Personally, I'd have invited. them with the clear understanding that no one is intending to make special
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  • 20
    accommodations for them, but they are free to bring food if they want. “Here's what we're going to do. You're welcome to join us.
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  • 21
    You can even bring food if you'd like. If it's not something you're interested in, I completely understand".
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  • 22
    If they're one of those vegans who is going to spend the day telling all the meat eaters why they're bad people, though, it's best not to invite them at all.
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  • 23
    Ookami89 NTA, you were kind enough to respect her "life choices" and in return she displayed stand vegan entitlement
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friendship drama toxic summer friends relationships lol love family reddit thread red flag Reddit bbq funny dating exclusive meat
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